1. How to Take Care of Yourself Both In and Out of the Library Rebecca P. Butler, Associate Professor, Barbara Fiehn, Assistant Professor, Northern Illinois University Copyright 2006

2. Stress an integral and inevitable feature of most workplaces When individuals perceive an imbalance between the pressures and demands made on them and the resources they have to cope with these demands

3. Recognized Problem  National Institute of Occupational Safety  World Health Organization  $200 Billion due to absenteeism, turnover, accidents, disability

4. Issue’s That Create Stress  Increased accountability  Doing more with less  Increased patron expectations  Volatile budgets!

5. The Big Picture  Thoughts lead to emotions, which lead to behaviors  Your reaction determines how stressed you feel.  Taking more control of each step is the name of the game

6. Big Picture You own 50% of any relationship and are 100% in control of your own behavior.

7. Assertive Communication  Focused on solutions  The goal is a win-win  Helps you move through stressful interactions while taking care of yourself and others

8.  Tough Skin Don’t personalize negatives Use criticism as a chance to improve Don’t take abuse – act  Share the load Who can help? Volunteers, students, other building staff  Workaholic – balance work, family, fun

9. Your Responsibility: Have Courage! Tell someone who can help:  Your supervisor  Another supervisor  Other supervisors Human Resources, Legal, Risk Management, Facilities, Law Enforcement, Equal Employment Office, etc.) Several co-workers, who will go with you to a supervisor Employee Assistance Program

10. Don’t “Should” on Yourself  Don’t over schedule  Understand Enoughness Organize and Prioritize

11. Hostile people are always under the influence Not necessarily alcohol or drugs. It’s usually an emotional "substance" like anger, grief, or some other emotional influence that causes the individual to react to normal circumstances in an irrational manner. Thriving Skills

12.  Stay professional and don’t make it personal. Remain calm. Your anger gives them control.  Practice empathy Show that you are sympathetic and understanding. Share in their feelings or emotions.  Control the encounter, don’t be a victim.

13.  Use positive feedback when you least want to.  it will help defuse the anger of the other person  using anger or negative feedback increases negative reactions

14.  Survive Most important is that you survive the encounter. This could mean that you need to run away from the situation. If this is the case, do it. In order to survive the encounter, do whatever you must. Take your work seriously, yourself lightly.

15. Why HUMOR at work?   Reduces personal stress   Lowers blood pressure   Promotes teamwork   Stimulates creativity   Improves morale, communication, and productivity   Helps people cope

16. DON’T  Employ sarcastic or sexual humor  Use humor as a “power play”  Use humor to exclude others  Use humor to undermine, belittle, or humiliate  Don’t tolerate inappropriate use of humor by others

17. Coping With Difficult/Toxic Situations  Assess the situation – am I dealing with a difficult person or a difficult situation?  What am I willing to accept about this person or situation?  Should I put some distance between me and the person or situation?

18. Bullies  Target people who are independent, smarter, and more competent than they are.  Often attempt to humiliate publicly.  Control all resources.  Set you up to fail.  Manipulate others.

19. Some Ways to react to the bully / toxic colleague, administrator, or aide  Document your concerns  Take concerns to a higher authority  Become more assertive  Use humor to deflect remarks  Find workplace allies  Don’t value bully’s judgment; don’t give her power

20.  Check tape in your head and recognize it will happen  Choose words carefully  Have a pat statement ready  If nothing feels good, pick the lesser action  Do not validate the bully/toxic coworker

21.  Remove yourself  Be proactive  Visualize a suit of armor or see-through glass  Care for yourself  Detach  Remind yourself you are better than the bully, and s/he recognizes that!

22. Dealing With Rumors  Rumors and gossip increase workplace negativity.  Don’t feed into the negativity.  Meditation for dealing with rumors I have no desire to be anyone other than myself. Gossip, lies and slander will not bother me. or No matter what they say or do to me I’m still a worthwhile person

23. Professional Victims  Manipulative, actually quite tough, demanding  Offer them three or so choices or solutions, then stop. Don’t keep jousting!  Know your limits  it’s OK to set boundaries  let them know you’ll help them if they stop  yelling  using demeaning language  swearing

24. Dealing With Anger  Don’t get angry  Diffuse the anger  Don’t agree  Let the person talk  Move toward problem-solving  Refer to Employee Assistance Program

25. Dealing With Difficult Supervisors   Avoid negative attitude transference to boss   Expect rough days   Don’t nurse a small gripe into a huge issue   Select the right time to approach the boss   Don’t go over the boss’ head without communicating first   Don’t let the boss intimidate

26. Dealing With Difficult Supervisors   Your boss is not your buddy   If you make a mistake, clear the air quickly   Not all bosses enjoy being the boss   If possible, make the boss your mentor   Maintain open and honest communication with your boss   Don’t be negative with others about the boss

27. Dealing with Conflict Conflicts are like office gifts:  Conflicts can open lines of communication.  Conflicts can be viewed as symptoms of larger workplace problems.  Conflicts can let you address issues before they become problems.

28. Workplace Conflict   You can’t avoid it   You can’t eliminate it   You can’t wish it away   You can only understand it and manage it

29. Time and Work Load  Most frequently reported problems  Follow by Lack of respect for Contribution to learn environment Professional status Interpersonal relationship  Effort vs Reward

30. Time Health  Re-create during lunch  Plan time for planning not management  Management time is essential Demand it Make need visible Make use of it visible  Set start and stop time for your day

31. Work Load  Accept you will never be done  Prioritize Vision, mission, goals, and objectives Keep focused on end goals  Late nights, Weekends, Holidays NOT work time NOT visible  Balance MUST vs. NICE to Do

32. Stress Relievers  Exercise more  Meditate deeper  Eat better  Sleep well  Talk to people  Pray together  Sing-a-long  Dance the jig  Read a book  Laughter

33. Stress Relievers   Take a short break   Go on vacation   Take a stress class   Do exercises at work   Eat lunch with a friend   Get active in work committees   Volunteer for team assignments   Talk to your EAP Counselor

34. Laugh  The Average Child Laughs or Smiles 400 Times a Day  The Average Adult Laughs or Smiles 15 Times a Day

35. Build a Positive Work Attitude  Build positive attitude in another environment  Talk about positive things  Look for good things in the people you work with  Look for good things in your organization  Avoid negative attitude traps of others  Make frequent self-assessments

36.  Identify Stress sources  Let go of what you can’t control  Take note of what you have done well Make short term goals Celebrate completion

37. Responding to Feeling Victimized  Derail your automatic response  Think WIIFM (what’s in it for me?)  Determine the costs and benefits of your reaction  New strategies become automatic through practice

38. Self-talk  Self-talk: the way you make sense of a situation  Happens automatically, instantaneously  Sets the stage for your emotions and your behavior  Re-framing puts the situation into perspective – seeing with new eyes

39. Trigger Thoughts to Coping Thoughts  Trigger Thoughts  automatic response to an event  just the right reason to get upset  great justification for stonewalling   Coping Thoughts  reduce stress by changing your perception of the event  the goal is this response becomes automatic

40. Physical Self-care  Diet: healthy breakfast; low-fat, low-sugar diet; restrict alcohol intake  Rest: daily quiet time; relaxation exercises before bed; get a good night’s sleep  Exercise: 20 minutes of aerobic exercise three times/week; participate in games / sports regularly; walk as much as possible  Re-creating: regular time with friends/family; establish personal and professional goals; assess accomplishments

41. Calling it Quits  Situation can not be resolved  Feeling intimidated, disrespected, demeaned interventions have not worked  Bored – no longer fun  Quit feeling guilty – you are not at fault

42.  Practice letting go  Affirm yourself as a person who deserves a healthy life – you are a GOOD person  Admit to yourself that the outcome is out of your hands  Life is too short to be in a job that is not rewarding

43. Choose Your Attitude and Behaviors! It Starts With One Person - YOU

44. References  A bibliography of print and web materials is available on the website http://www.cedu.niu.edu/~fiehn/ MediaSpecialistsandStress.html