1. Listening and dialogue
Rebecka Arman

2. Four fields of conversation (Isaacs)4
Flow dialogue 3
Inquiry 2
Break through 1
Politeness
Breakthrough involves some kind of disturbance to the politeness
Politeness: Rule-following, common cceptance of social norms and power structures, rel stable state
Break-through: Rule-revealing, power is contested (whose meaning has more power?), positions emerge, unstable state
Inquiry: Rule-inquiring, self-inquiry into underlying assumptions, awareness of how we impact each other
Flow: Rule-generating, generation of new possibilities, collective intelligence

3. Modes of communication
Serial monologue (phase 1)
Solo advocacy
Making speeches
Maintain a smooth surface (politeness)
Verbal brawling/unproductive discussion (1-2)
Win/lose
No Inquiry
Control Outcome
Soft data, implicit reasoning

4. Modes of communication ctd
Facilitated conversation (phase 2-3)
Guided conversation
Structured Inquiry (AI?)
Skillful conversation (phase 3)
Hard (observable) data
Explicit reasoning
Productive Inquiry

5. Modes of conversation ctd
Reflective dialogue (phase 3)
Restructuring underlying thinking
Clarifies choices
Surfaces deep questions/puzzles
Generative dialogue (phase 4)
Recreates underlying thinking
Transforms tacit thought
Enables wisdom to emerge
Produces insight and compulsion to act

6. Four fields of conversation4
Flow dialogue 3
Inquiry 2
Break through 1
Politeness

7. Function: perspective
The four player model
Move
Function: direction
Bystand
Function: perspective
Follow
Function: completion
The diagonal line is about Advocacy (move and respect) while the horizontal poles are about Inquiry.
Inbalance and destructive/improductive sequences:
Serial monologues (M-M-M-M)
Courteous Compliance (M-F-F-F)
Point-Counterpoint: (M-O-M-O)
Hall of Mirrors: (M-B-B-B)
Covert Opposition: M-F/O, B/O
Oppose
Function: correction

8. Action positions and fears
Action intends:
But sometimes comes across as:
Mover
Discipline
Commitment
Perfection
Clarity
Impatient
Indecisive
Scattered
Dictatorial
Follower
Loyalty
Service
Continuity
Compassion
Placating
Wishy-Washy
Over accommodating
Opposer
Courage
Protection
Integrity
Survival
Critical
Competitive
Blaming
Contrary
Bystander
Patience
Preservation
Moderation
Self-Reflection
Disengaged
Judgmental
Deserting
Withdrawn
Silent
Dances with wolves, from 40:27

9. When one or more dynamic is missing
Intent
What can I do?
How can I help provide what is missing?
Move
Jointly design action
“I think we should XX, Sarah would you…?”
“Sarah, what do you think we should do?”
Follow
Commit to trying another’s direction
“That’s a great idea! How can I help?”
“How can we support Peter’s suggestion?”
Oppose
Raise differences to purposes of testing
“An alternative approach might be to…”
“Does anyone see anything in this that might not work?”
Bystand
Test your view of what’s happening
“I’ve noticed that we’ve been circling the same topic for some time. Perhaps we want to…”
“What are we overlooking?”

10. Four fields of conversation4
Flow dialogue 3
Inquiry 2
Break through 1
Politeness

11. Practices for Dialogue (Isaacs)
Voice
Speaking from one’s deepest self
Suspend
Stepping back to perceive what is taken for granted
Listen
To partake of and take part in
Speaking: Living from the source of one’s being.
Listening as if what is “out there” is also in here
Respect: seeking to discover how everything fits
Suspend: Stopping the flow of thought (thinking, not thoughting)
The opposite to DEFEND
Respect
Honoring and witnessing the legitimacy of another’s stance and point of view

12. Assumption Identification   
The ladder of inference (Argyris/Senge):
Actions (based on beliefs)
Adoption of beliefs (about the world)
Drawing conclusions
Making assumptions (based on meanings)
Adding meaning to observation (personal/cultural)
  Observation/data (experiences)
What is considered “data” is first selected and filtered from the sum total of the observation and experience

13. Exercise with Four practices
Think of a recent conversation that you had that was difficult, in some way
Five minutes to write it down:
What you said and what the other(s) said, as you recall it
Work three persons together:
3 minutes tell each other briefly about the conversations
Choose one to work with
Decide who is coach and one is observer
Tell about the conversation in a little more detail
One minute silence
7 minutes questions and answers, INQUIRY
7 minutes feed-back from all: what did you learn? When did the conversation open up?
The Clarity Committee from the Quakers