1. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20141 A Simpler Way -Draft Two Types of Clouds & Their Matrices

2. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20142 In the 2013 TOCICO Winter Webinar Series I did two sessions; One on dialectic local/local clouds with a matrix that I will now call a transformation matrix. One on didactic local/global clouds or systemic clouds with a matrix that turns out to be nothing more than a split-out normal change matrix. More recently I circulated a powerpoint TP22c called Just The Matrices in response to a request to show where the “mermaids” and “alligators” were. The same person subsequently suggested that I had complicated things by using a transformation matrix. I now agree with this. What follows are the two cloud end-members with consistent and simple change matrices. Let me show you both of these right now, without any explanation. A local/global or systemic cloud first, and a local/local cloud second.

3. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20143 A Simpler Way This is the simplest rendition of a local/global or systemic cloud that I can do, it has one change matrix attached to it. This is essentially as I presented at Chicago. I will call this the “destination.” Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits Part’s View Detriments System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact on the parts Don’t Change

4. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20144 A Simpler Way This is a local/local cloud. It has two change matrices. I don’t believe anyone has ever presented this before. This is the “journey” towards the “destination;” there is much to learn Please let me know if anyone has drawn this previously Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Don’t Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

5. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20145 In the webinar series I worked-up the local/local cloud based upon the Harvard Negotiation Project’s book Difficult Conversations. I could not “do” local/local clouds at that stage – all my experience had been with systemic clouds, after all I want to improve systems rather than solve “tit-for-tat” arguments. That the Harvard Negotiation Project and the Thinking Processes within Theory of Constraints should triangulate towards the same end is fundamentally important to me. If I was to present this in terms of a context of justification I would start with the local/local cloud (the journey) and end at the local/global cloud (the destination). However I prefer to do this in terms of the context of the discovery. Ultimately systemic clouds are easier to understand and that is where I started and where we should start too. If I hadn’t have started at the easy end, I don’t even know if I could have got to the difficult end at all. Let’s have a look then, starting with the systemic cloud.

6. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20146 A Simpler Way The system wants to do something in order to remove the current negative issues and to bring into existence new positive outcomes. Both of these actions constitute positive intent Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits Part’s View Detriments System’s View Issues -ve System’s View Outcomes +ve Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts Don’t Change

7. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20147 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits +ve Part’s View Detriments System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts However, the system is blind to the fact that some of the current benefits of the parts may be lost with the change, or at least be perceived or feared to be lost … Don’t Change

8. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20148 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits +ve Part’s View Detriments -ve System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts … and moreover that new negative detriments may be acquired. Avoidance of these two negative impacts is manifestly positive and cements into place the current want of the parts Don’t Change

9. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 20149 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits +ve Part’s View Detriments -ve System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts Let’s reiterate what the matrix is telling us – it is the same as the cloud but in more detail – it is the sufficiency rather than the overarching necessity, let’s have a look System’s Proposal Don’t Change

10. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201410 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits +ve Part’s View Detriments -ve System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts There are current problems or issues that the system is aware of that are tolerated by the parts because of benefits, maybe totally personal, that the parts accrue as a consequence System’s Proposal

11. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201411 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits +ve Part’s View Detriments -ve System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts And by the same token, there are future improvements that the system desires that are opposed to by the parts because of the perceived detriments that they may acquire as a consequence System’s Proposal

12. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201412 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits Part’s View Detriments System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts Of course any proper process – nemawashi springs to mind – would seek to avoid this state of affairs, and in fact, the ideal “destination” would involve one more step … Don’t Change

13. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201413 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s Need System’s Want System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent … there simply is no negative impact to avoid and the parts fully subordinate to the system as a whole Don’t Change

14. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201414 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits Part’s View Detriments System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts Returning to the full diagram, there is only one positive intent, the didactic of the whole, and there is only one negative impact, that of the system upon the parts Don’t Change

15. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201415 A Simpler Way Common Objective System’s Need Part’s NeedPart’s Want System’s Want Part’s View Benefits Part’s View Detriments System’s View Issues System’s View Outcomes Change System’s Proposal Because of the system’s intent Because of the system’s impact upon the parts We don’t allow the parts to have an intent but we ought to – because they will have an intent whether we care to acknowledge it or not. And that is the journey that we must now undertake Don’t Change

16. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201416 A Simpler Way We are no longer didactic, but rather dialectic, an interaction between two opposing parts Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

17. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201417 A Simpler Way Each side has both a positive intent and probably, also, a negative impact upon the other Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

18. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201418 A Simpler Way Starting with our own proposal; we wish to avoid the current negative issues that abound and we do wish to gain new and positive outcomes … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

19. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201419 A Simpler Way … but it is more than that too. We also wish to avoid the loss of any current benefits and avoid gaining any detriments that might arise from the other side – all manifestly positive attributes Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

20. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201420 A Simpler Way On the other hand, the other side wants to avoid what they perceived as their negative issues and to gain what they perceived as their positive outcomes. Again completely positive intent Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

21. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201421 A Simpler Way And still it is also more than that too. They want to avoid the loss of any positive benefits and to avoid gaining any future detriments that might arise from our own proposal Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

22. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201422 A Simpler Way Each side wishes to enact their positive intent and to avoid the negative impact of the other side. The cloud and the matrices are profoundly positive devices Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

23. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201423 A Simpler Way We can see why a conflict can become so embedded, not because of people’s negativity but because of their positivity! Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

24. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201424 A Simpler Way Let’s look at a few more issues that conspire against us from breaking out of our possibly incorrect assumptions Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Don’t Change

25. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201425 A Simpler Way The first of these is pride of the inventor. In our proposal we do not see the possible negative ramifications, in fact we are blind to them Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Their Proposal Don’t Change Our Proposal

26. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201426 A Simpler Way So instead of receiving the praise that we expected, we get heart-felt criticism! Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Their Proposal Don’t Change Our Proposal

27. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201427 A Simpler Way Equally, we are slow to praise the other side … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal

28. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201428 A Simpler Way … and we are quick to criticise! Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal

29. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201429 A Simpler Way To paraphrase Eli Goldratt; what beautiful human relationships Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal

30. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201430 A Simpler Way If that were not enough, there is also a powerful confirmation bias afoot … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal

31. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201431 A Simpler Way … their negative impact upon us, only confirms in our own mind … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal

32. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201432 A Simpler Way … the positive solution that we wish to embark upon Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

33. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201433 A Simpler Way And vice versa … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

34. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201434 A Simpler Way … our negative impact upon them … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

35. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201435 A Simpler Way … only confirms in their mind the positive solution that they wish to embark upon Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

36. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201436 A Simpler Way Let’s restate these last few slides … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

37. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201437 A Simpler Way … this is our view of the world … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

38. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201438 A Simpler Way … and this is their view of the world Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

39. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201439 A Simpler Way So, let us ask, is there a way out? Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

40. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201440 A Simpler Way For sure there is! Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

41. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201441 A Simpler Way Whenever the conversation goes negative, use contrasting … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

42. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201442 A Simpler Way … point out that it is not the negative impact that we intend … Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal

43. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201443 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Their ProposalOur Proposal … but rather it is the positive intent that we seek

44. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201444 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal And we need to understand the stories behind the perception of negative impact on both sides, for surely it is this mis-understanding that is the real cause of the matter

45. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201445 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal Finally, making all of these things explicit in this graphical form, presented on one page, in open dialogue, leads to making this a simpler way

46. © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201446 End Website: www.dbrmfg.co.nz E mail: youngman“at”dbrmfg.co.nz Layers of Resistance/Understanding follow …

47. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201447 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal For completion, let’s map the layers of resistance, the layers of understanding in once again, starting with our side …

48. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201448 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal … well, actually, my bad habit of explaining this is to start on our side with their resistance to us, so let’s whoa-up a bit, and re-start again on their side, and build some rapport 1

49. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201449 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal The first layer is about our understanding of the problem from their point of view – will this generate resistance in us? Of course it will 1

50. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201450 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal The second layer is about our understanding their solution again from their point of view – will this generate resistance in us? It sure will 1 2

51. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201451 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal The third and fourth layers are about our reservations to their solution and the obstacles that we can see that they can not 1 23-4

52. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201452 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal And of course the fifth layer – our own unverbalized fear – is the one place we ought not to reach if in fact we do understand the process that we are carrying out 1 23-4 5

53. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201453 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal OK, now, lets go back to our side. By the same token our interpretation of the problem from our point of view will give rise to resistance in them and we need to be aware of this … 1 23-4 5 1

54. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201454 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal … as does our apparent insistence upon our preferred solution … 1 23-4 5 1 2

55. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201455 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal … and so through the other 3 layers as well 1 23-4 5 1 2 5 5

56. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201456 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal One last thought …

57. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201457 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal The fifth layer is also the “first,” it is about people’s sense of identity, everyone’s expertise and past experience, everyone’s standing amongst their peers – and standing amongst strangers too … 5 5

58. Their View Outcomes Their View Benefits Their View Detriments Our View Benefits Our View Detriments © Dr Kelvyn Youngman, Jun 201458 A Simpler Way Common Objective Our Need Their NeedTheir Want Our Want Because of our intent and their impact upon us Because of their intent and our impact upon them Their View Issues Change Our View Issues Our View Outcomes Change Don’t Change Our ProposalTheir Proposal … it is much better to acknowledge this up-front and to bring it into the discussion early on, the sooner the better – that way the fifth layer will lose its silence 5 5