2. MALTA To begin with, I've decided to put here some very basic information on Malta because I generally presume that I'm the only one here knowing a thing about the geography of the Mediterranean and because Malta due to its tiny proportions is pretty easy to get confused with a piece of dirt on the map. The Republic of Malta is situated on numerous islands, of which no one is really important, but Malta and Gozo may seem to be quite interesting for a few weeks. You can get here by an outrageously snobbish speedboat, the trip from Sicily takes approximately ninety minutes, or you can simply take a jet from Prague or any other European major city.

3. MALTA The currency here is called Maltese lira (it was about 65 CZK last time I checked) but it's also commonly referred to as the pound. To differ the British pound, the official term of pound sterling is widely spread around Malta.

4. MALTA Thanks to its subtropical location the weather on Malta is, and now please look completely and utterly surprised, fairly hot in the summer, so if you're over twenty-one or so I'd recommend you to rent a car with air conditioning instead of going by the old colonial prewar buses. On the other hand, the buses are mostly in a great shape and all of them look extremely cool. You'll also be able to see the sea from any place you'll get and that's the reason you should visit Malta or Gozo or any other island in this area for.

5. MALTA The capital city of the entire 'empire' Valetta (it was founded by the Grandmaster of the Order of Saint John, Jean Parisot de la Valette in 1566) is a wonderful city with an exceptional atmosphere, long straight streets colorful history and beautiful gardens overflowing with scarce, rare and precious plants of all kinds. Yet the city is dead, no one wants to live there and that's why the former ruler of the Mediterranean has become a mere suburb of the neighbouring city, Sliema. Still, Valetta's Grand Harbour remains the key Maltese port, it even hosts a US battleship once in a while. There are also a few dozens (five hundred) Maltese churches, Grandmaster's Palace and some museums in Valetta.

6. ACCOMMODATION To get to my personal experience, which is what this is supposed to be about, I guess, let me start with the accommodation. First I was in a host family, we had to share the room with host mother's car but who would mind a good looking cabrio Rover in his room? It was really great, apart from one little hitch: there was no air-conditioning, just a fan, so I spent some time trying to fit myself into the fridge. The second time I stayed at a hotel on the shore with a pool on the roof and a fantastic view of the harbour and Valetta.

7. SCHOOL Both schools were absolutely gorgeous and the only thing I can say to it is: If you ever get a chance to get to ILES in Sliema, go. It's nice and clean, the teachers are friendly and the most important is that you'll learn a lot there. I hope I've done.

8. AFTER SCHOOL After school I usually went to the cinema, took a trip someplace on the island or watched the Maltese national sport, football, on TV in a bar. But I did no sport except for swimming, it was too hot to walk, the idea of running during the day seemed a little insane to me. And who would waste time by getting tired in the evening when everyone around was getting drunk?

9. AFTER SCHOOL By the way there's a large and therefore relatively cheep supermarket under the Hilton (the only big building in Paceville you can't miss it).

10. MDINA If you're on Malta desperately looking for something to buy and stay sober, I'd recommend Mdina Glass. There are a few glass shops.

11. MDINA In the crafts village near Mdina but only two ones are worth visiting: the first one is the original Mdina Glass with the genuine Mdina Glass sticker on each piece of glass in the shop; you can find some really nice pieces there and the prices are quite reasonable. The second one is the shop where the scrap or damaged glass is sold, you can find some nearly perfect plates or goblets there and with those prices, you can make a real bargain. Regrettably I've forgotten the location of this one, it's not as easy to find it but it's no big problem, I suppose.

12. KITTEN Finally I'm getting to the most fascinating point, which is Maltese fauna. Absolutely nothing lives there but lizards and some cats. I wonder how they survive.