1. A RLINGTON C OUNTY D EPARTMENT OF H UMAN S ERVICES - BHD V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROGRAM Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services Araceli Covarrubias, MA Mental Health Therapist

2. V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROGRAM Who we are: We are experts in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault. We work with survivors, friends, and family members. We provide: Individual & group counseling for victims/survivors Crisis Intervention/Safety Planning Support and Information Joint Protective and Violence Intervention Spanish Speaking Counselors Outreach/Community education for adults and adolescents Training/consultation for allied professionals Group counseling program for Abusers (Spanish/English) Court and/or Hospital Accompaniment Services are Confidential

3. V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROGRAM Staff: Maurice Hendrix, Coordinator (703) 228-1513 Araceli Covarrubias, Bilingual Therapist/Spanish (703) 228-1516 Marie Michaud, Therapist(703) 228-1517 Ilene Segal, Therapist & Volunteer Coordinator (703) 228-1514 Front Desk: (703) 228-1200 8:30am – 6pm After Hours & Weekends: (703) 228-4848 www.arlingtonva.us/vip 2100 Washington Blvd. 2nd Floor, Sequoia Plaza Arlington, VA 22204

4. O VERVIEW Introduction to Domestic Violence Prevalence Types of Abuse Dynamics of Abuse Cultural Implications Red Flags/ How to recognize potential DV victims Intervention Strategies Safety Planning Community Resources

5. P REVALENCE - S TATS FROM VA A CTION A LLIANCE Domestic Violence Services 1/1/11 - 12/31/11 Emergency Shelter Adults in Emergency Shelter 3,825 Children in Emergency Shelter 2,784 Nights of Emergency Shelter Provided to Adults 109,765 Nights of Emergency Shelter Provided to Children 93,260 Total Nights of Emergency Shelter Provided 203,025 Total Requests for Shelter When Shelter Was Full 3,100 Transitional Housing Services Number of Adults Housed 174 Number of Children Housed 175 Nights of Housing Provided to Adults 47,729 Nights of Housing Provided to Children 48,449 Total Nights of Housing Provided 96,178

6. T YPES OF A BUSE Physical Emotional Economic Sexual Verbal Legal Status

7. P OWER AND C ONTROL W HEEL U SED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE D OMESTIC V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROJECT, D ULUTH, M INNESOTA

8. E QUALITY W HEEL U SED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE D OMESTIC V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROJECT, D ULUTH, M INNESOTA

9. Denial & Hope

10. C ULTURAL P OWER & C ONTROL W HEEL U SED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE D OMESTIC V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROJECT, D ULUTH, M INNESOTA

11. W HY D O W OMEN S TAY I NFORMATION FROM WWW. DOMESTICVIOLENCE. ORG AND WWW. TURNINGPOINTSERVICES. ORG WWW. DOMESTICVIOLENCE. ORG WWW. TURNINGPOINTSERVICES. ORG He will threaten to leave me. He said he will, “ Hunt me down and kill me.” He will kidnap the children and disappear. He will spread horrible rumors about me. I will never be safe, I might as well live with him. She will “out” me at work or to my family. Roles Culture Forces Upon Women: Guilt I will ruin his life if I leave. He will lose his job if I report this. He will start drinking again. I will disappoint my family. I have to take care of him.

12. W HY D O W OMEN S TAY I NFORMATION FROM WWW. DOMESTICVIOLENCE. ORG AND WWW. TURNINGPOINTSERVICES. ORG WWW. DOMESTICVIOLENCE. ORG WWW. TURNINGPOINTSERVICES. ORG Economic Dependence He has all the money. I have never had a good job. How will I care for kids alone? Better to be beaten up at home that to be on the street. I would rather die than be on welfare. Subordination I am afraid to be on my own. Who will protect me? I fear that I will never be in a relationship again. He gives me a sense of security. I don’t want to be a divorced woman.

13. E FFECTS OF DV ON W OMEN Depression Anxiety Substance abuse Eating disorders Emotionally numb Sleep disorders Suicide attempts Unable to respond to their children’s needs Feelings of hopelessness/helplessness

14. E FFECTS OF DV ON C HILDREN

15. H OW TO RECOGNIZE POTENTIAL VICTIMS - R ELATIONSHIP Q UIZ Do you feel nervous or fearful in your relationship? Are you afraid of your partner's temper? Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid his/her anger? Do you feel like you are always “walking on eggshells”? Are you afraid to say “No” to sex? Do you feel powerless in your relationship? Are you scared of disagreeing with him/her? Are you afraid to break up with your partner? Does s/he criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people? Has s/he ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior? Does s/he tell you what to wear, or how to do your hair? Does s/he prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?

16. R ELATIONSHIP Q UIZ - C ONT ’ D Does s/he check up on you or question you about what you do without him/her? Does s/he act controlling? Does s/he repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing other guys/women? Does s/he tell you that if you changed s/he wouldn't abuse you? Does s/he act jealous of the time you spend with other people? Does s/he make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate? Does s/he call you names? Does s/he ignore your feelings? Has s/he ridiculed your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, class or sexual preference?

17. R ELATIONSHIP QUIZ - C ONT ’ D Do you feel that, with him/her, nothing you do is ever good enough? Does s/he say that s/he will kill or hurt herself/himself if you break up with him/her? Does s/he make excuses for his/her abusive behavior by saying it's because of alcohol or drugs or because s/he can't control his/her temper, or that s/he was 'just joking'? Does s/he hate spending time with your family and keep you from seeing your friends and family? Does s/he withhold approval, appreciation or affection as punishment? Has s/he manipulated you with lies? Has s/he taken your car keys or money away? Has s/he subjected you to reckless driving?

18. R ED F LAGS U SED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE D OMESTIC V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROJECT, D ULUTH, M INNESOTA abuse alcohol or other drugs. have a history of trouble with the law, gets into fights, or break and destroy property. don’t work or go to school. abuse siblings, other family members, children or pets. put down people, including your family and friends, or call them names excessively. are always angry at someone or something. try to isolate you and control who you see or where you go. accuse you of flirting or “coming on” to others or accuse you of cheating on them. don’t listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings...things always have to be done their way. lie to you, don’t show up for dates, maybe even disappear for days. blame all arguments and problems on you threaten suicide if you break up with them. experience extreme mood swings -tell you you’re the greatest one minute and rip you apart the next minute. tell you to shut up or tell you you’re dumb, stupid, fat, or call you some other name (directly or indirectly). Question a relationship with partners who:

19. R ED F LAGS ( CONT ’ D ) U SED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE D OMESTIC V IOLENCE I NTERVENTION P ROJECT, D ULUTH, M INNESOTA you feel afraid to break up with them. you feel tied down, feel like you have to check-in. you feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects so that the other person won’t get mad. you tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will be just fine. worse over time. you find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy. you find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy. you find the physical or emotional abuse getting Some other cues that might indicate an abusive relationship might include:

20. I NTERVENTION S TRATEGIES Provide Pyschoeducation- DV 101 Let the client know that the Domestic Violence is NOT their fault Provide information on Safety Planning & their options (e.g. shelters) Do not tell the client to leave, but explore & assess risks frequently Do not talk poorly about the aggressor Teach coping skills, encourage self care, encourage independence (financial, etc) Validate their experience Provide education on depression, anxiety and potential PTSD

21. R ISK A SSESSMENT D R. C AMPBELL ’ S D ANGER A SSESSMENT T OOL C OPYRIGHT 2004 J OHNS H OPKINS U NIVERSITY, S CHOOL OF N URSING This tool was developed in an effort to try and predict which domestic abuse situations could be lethal. There are 2 components to the danger/lethality assessment tool: 1.) Completing a calendar for the past year using the scale as indicated on the tool to denote the degree of violence 2.) Completing the list of 20 questions See Danger Assessment forms

22. D OMESTIC V IOLENCE S AFETY P LANNING Talk to people you trust about the violence you are experiencing Tell neighbors about the abuse and ask them to call 911 if they see/hear the abuse occurring, develop a signal, such as flicking the porch light or saying a code word that can alert neighbors/friends to call 911 Gather important documents, such as birth certificates, social security cards, insurance information, legal papers, children’s school records, bank account information. Put money aside in advance Pack extra clothing for yourself and your children; include a few of your child’s favorite toys Teach children to phone 911 when or before violence starts

23. R ESOURCES N ORTHERN V IRGINIA Alexandria Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Program- Hotline: (703) 746-5030, Residential Shelter, Emergency Accompaniment Arlington County Violence Intervention Program- Hotline: (703) 228-4848, Emergency Accompaniment Doorways Domestic Violence Program- Hotline: (703) 237-0881 Court Advocate, (703) 244-5165, M-F 9-5 Fairfax County Office for Women Domestic & Sexual Violence Services- Hotline: (703) 360-7273, Residential Shelter, Accompaniment Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance, (800) 838-8238

24. R ESOURCES D ISTRICT O F C OLUMBIA DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, (202) 299-1181 Asian/ Pacific Islander Domestic Violence Resource Project (DVRP), (202) 464-4477 Survivors and Advocates for Empowerment (SAFE), (202)408-1476 House of Ruth, (202) 667-7001 My Sister’s Place, Inc, (202) 529-5261, Residential Shelter Ramona’s Way, (202) 561-3000 Deaf Abused Women’s Network (DAWN), (202) 559-5366

25. R ESOURCES M ARYLAND Abused Persons Program, Hotline: (240)777-4195 (days), (240)777-4673 (After Business Hours), Montgomery County Family Crisis Center of Prince George’s County, Inc, Hotline: (866) 382-7474 or (301) 731-1203 Questions?