Diane Avenue Church of Christ

Diane Avenue Church of Christ
Opening Verses Deuteronomy 8:6 (NIV) 6 Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him.

Diane Avenue Church of Christ
Romans 5:19 (NIV) 19 For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

A Honorable Marriage Our Scripture text is from Hebrews 13:4
4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

A Honorable Marriage OBJECTIVES: Each of us should know what God has defined as an honorable marriage. AIM: To teach the truth regarding honorable marriage and to embolden the listener to teach that message to others.

A Honorable Marriage There are three main point we will discuss
Marriage is honorable when: 1) God says it is honorable. * 2) It respects God's pattern for marriage. 3) Its not being used to legitimize adultery.

A Honorable Marriage Let’s be clear so far “ A Honorable Marriage” was created by God not Man? This is God's law of marriage. From the beginning, Jesus says, God made them male and female. Neither Adam nor Eve had been in a marriage before. God joined them together. Jesus says that when a man and a woman leave their father and mother and are married for the first time to each other, that is acceptable to God. Once they are married, God joins them together. No MAN can separate them. Gen. 1:27; 5:2, Matt 19:4-5

A Honorable Marriage This marriage , this union , that God has brought together “6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Is a perfect picture of what a marriage should be. When ever you see marriage or husband and wife mentioned in the Bible this is what it should look like.

A Honorable Marriage Marriage is honorable when .......
II. IT RESPECTS GOD'S PATTERN FOR MARRIAGE. What is that pattern? Let’s read - Genesis 2:18-25

A Honorable Marriage Commentary:
Gen.2: ; God’s creative work was not complete until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he made man. God chose, however, to make her from the man’s flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. This is a spiritual union of the couple’s hearts and lives.

Gen.2: ; Throughout the Bible, God treats this special partnership seriously. If you are married or planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment that makes the two of you one? The goal in marriage should be more than friendship; it should be oneness.

Gen. 2:21–23 God forms and equips men and women for various tasks, but all these tasks lead to the same goal—honoring God. Man gives life to woman; woman gives life to the world. Each role carries exclusive privileges; there is no room for thinking that one sex is superior to the other.

Gen. 2:24; God gave marriage as a gift to Adam and Eve. They were created perfect for each other. Marriage was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture. It was instituted by God and has three basic aspects: (1) the man leaves his parents and, promises himself to his wife; (2) the man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each other’s welfare and by loving the mate above all others; (3) the two become one flesh in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union, which is reserved for marriage. Strong marriages include all three of these aspects.

A Honorable Marriage WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT MARRIAGE
Genesis 2:18–24 Marriage is God’s idea Genesis 24:58–60 Commitment is essential to a successful marriage Song of Songs 4:9–10 Romance is important Jeremiah 7:34 Marriage holds times of great joy Malachi 2:14, 15 Marriage creates the best environment for raising children ** Matthew 5:32 Unfaithfulness breaks the bond of trust, the foundation of all relationships

A Honorable Marriage Malachi 2:14-15 (NIV) **
14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

A Honorable Marriage WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT MARRIAGE
Matthew 19:6 Marriage is permanent Romans 7:2, 3 Ideally, only death should dissolve marriage Ephesians 5:21–33 Marriage is based on the principled practice of love, not on feelings Ephesians 5:23, 32 Marriage is a living symbol of Christ and the church Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is good and honorable

Is that pattern still active today? Or Has “ man” tried to changed it?
A Honorable Marriage Is that pattern still active today? Or Has “ man” tried to changed it?

What happens if we don't respect GOD’S pattern?
A Honorable Marriage What happens if we don't respect GOD’S pattern?

A Honorable Marriage Man marrying other men. Women marrying women.
Adults marrying children. Multiple partner marriages, both men and women. In short, anything goes. Sounds like what was going on before the flood during the time of Noah.

A Honorable Marriage Marriage is honorable when . . .
III. IT IS NOT USED TO LEGITIMIZE FORNICATION OR ADULTERY. Let's define adultery. Adultery is when a person who has an honorable marriage seeks and obtains sexual activity outside of that marriage.

A Honorable Marriage Adultery definition
Bible Dictionary, Eston Adultery definition conjugal infidelity. An adulterer was a man who had illicit intercourse with a married or a betrothed woman, and such woman was an adulteress. Intercourse between a married man and an unmarried woman was fornication. Adultery was regarded as a great social wrong, as well as a great sin. (Num. 5:11-31)

A Honorable Marriage Bible Dictionary Adultery definition
It has been inferred from John 8:1-11 that this sin became very common during the age preceding the destruction of Jerusalem. Idolatry, covetousness, and apostasy are spoken of as adultery spiritually (Jer. 3:6, 8, 9; Ezek. 16:32; Hos. 1:2:3; Rev. 2:22) An apostate church is an adulteress (Isa. 1:21; Ezek.23:4, 7, 37), and the Jews are styled "an adulterous generation"(Matt. 12:39). (cf. Rev. 12.)

A Honorable Marriage Ezekiel 16:32 defines adultery. It says, "A wife that committeth adultery taketh strangers instead of her husband!" Same could be said of the husband. Romans 7:3 "So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man."

A Honorable Marriage Romans 7:3 is better understood if we read v1-2
7 Do you not know, brothers and sisters —for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? 2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him.

A Honorable Marriage The people of Jesus' day were seeking to legitimize adultery through marriage. Jesus didn't tolerate it. Matthew 5:31-32 (NIV) 31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

A Honorable Marriage Luke 16:18 "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." 3) Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

A Honorable Marriage When you look at God's law of marriage and apply it to the same sex marriages of today it is less than honorable. Even the scriptures recognize same sex marriages as anything but fornication. Romans 1:26-27 (NIV) 26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

A Honorable Marriage We note that those who approve of such actions fall under God's condemnation as well. Romans 1: NIV 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

A Honorable Marriage What do you have when the laws of the land recognize a marriage that is really based upon adultery or fornication? You have a "marriage" that God does not honor. You have a "marriage" that is in name only. You give mere lip service to the word "marriage." You debase that which God has made holy. You make a mockery of God’s word.

A Honorable Marriage An Honorable Marriage is one that made by God’s Law of Marriage as it was made at the beginning. As Christians, we must learn from His word to respect the His prescription for “An Honorable Marriage”.

Divorce Forbidden from Creation
Did Moses give the rules for divorce without God's authority?

Before we answer that question , let’s not loose sight of what God has prescribed as a honorable marriage.

What are Biblical grounds for divorce?“ When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is important to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16

Malachi 2:16 (KJV) 16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. Malachi 2:16 New International Version (NIV) 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife, ” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

“I hate divorce, says the Lord God.” Whatever grounds the Bible possibly gives for divorce, that does not mean God desires a divorce to occur in those instances. Rather than asking “is a mouthy wife grounds for divorce,” often the question should be “is a mouthy wife grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and/or counseling?”

Q. When it’s obvious that a Christian husband and wife is having marital problems; a member of your congregation, a close friend should you step in and offer assistance in restoration, and/or counseling?” Or Should you just pray about it? Do Nothing God will take care of it.

The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Matthew 19:9 (NIV) 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

1 Corinthians 7:15 (NIV) 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

Even in these two instances, though, divorce is not required or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps. Divorce should only be viewed as a last resort.

1 Cor.7:1-5 - Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband.

1 Cor.7:1-5 In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But then in v6 Paul say’s - I say this as a concession, not as a command

1 Cor.7:1o-11 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Are there exceptions to sexual immorality and abandonment as grounds for divorce? Did Moses give the rules for divorce without God's authority or did God give this authority?

We read in Deuteronomy 24:1, "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house."

The simple answer to this question is that when God gave Moses the rules for divorce under the Law of Moses, it was authorized by God at that time and for those people. The question, no doubt, arises as a result of what Jesus said in Matthew 19:7, 8 . In this passage the Pharisees were questioning Jesus regarding marriage and divorce. After Jesus clearly taught that man has no right to sever what God has joined together (Matthew 19:6),

Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?" Jesus replied, "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." So what Moses wrote was authorized by God. However, what was authorized under the Old Law was not always necessarily that which pleased God..

Under the Old Covenant and prior to the Law of Christ, there is a distinction to be made between that which God authorizes and that which is satisfying or pleasing to God. For example, under the Old Law, God authorized animal sacrifices. However, from the New Testament we read, "In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had no pleasure" (Hebrews 10:6). While animal sacrifices were authorized by God, these sacrifices did not please God in respect to sin. They could not take away the sin of man

What was the sacrifice that was made with which God was satisfied in this respect? It was the sacrifice of Christ (Hebrews 10:12-14). So while God authorized animal sacrifices for a time, they were not the final authority in dealing with sin. The sacrifice of Jesus is the final authority in dealing with sin.

So, under the Old Law, God authorized some things that were not pleasing to Him. But why did He do that? Why would God authorize something that was not pleasing to Him?

We read in Acts 17:30, "And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent.“- KJV We also read in Acts 14:16 "Who in times past suffered all nations to walk in their own ways.“ Why would God allow the people of the past to be ignorant? Why would he allow them to "walk in their own ways?"

…God had not completely revealed His will to man. The Old Law that was revealed was a shadow of that which was to come; it was, therefore, incomplete in that it could not make the worshipper perfect (Hebrews 10:1). In Romans 16:25, Paul said that the full revelation of God's will was kept secret since the world began until the time of the gospel.

Romans 16:25 King James Version (KJV) 25 Now to him that is of power to stablish you according to my gospel, and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery, which was kept secret since the world began,

1 Peter 1:10-12 we read that even the Old Testament prophets and the angels didn't understand what the plan of God was in the past. However, it has now been revealed to us. So due to the incompleteness of the revelation of God's will to man, God tolerated some practices, and even authorized some, with which He was not completely and fully satisfied.

Among such practices was the writing of divorcement under the Old Law. Another such practice was the marrying of multiple wives which even pre-dates the Old Law. Another such practice would be the siring of children by your dead brother's wife (Deut.25:5).

Today, we have the gospel and all men are under the authority of Christ. John 17:2 says that God has given Christ authority over all flesh. Matthew 28:18 says that Jesus has been given all authority in heaven and on earth. We can be assured that today the authority under which we act is pleasing to God because it was purchased by the perfect sacrifice of Christ and made perfect by His blood.

Today, Christ's law regarding marriage and divorce is simple. This law goes back to the foundations of marriage as God originally intended it to be as exemplified by Adam and Eve in Genesis 2. This pattern is, one man, one woman, for life and the only exception given is when one spouse commits fornication and then the innocent party may remarry. This is exactly what Jesus states in Matthew 19:9 and it is what we, as Christians--followers of Christ, must respect as well.

Are there any grounds for divorce beyond what the Bible explicitly says?

Perhaps, but we do not presume upon the Word of God. It is very dangerous to go beyond what the Bible says (1 Corinthians 4:6). 1 Corinthians 4:6 (NIV) 6 Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “Do not go beyond what is written.” Then you will not be puffed up in being a follower of one of us over against the other.

Today, the most frequent additional grounds for divorce that people inquire about are spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), addiction to pornography, drug / alcohol use, crime / imprisonment, and mismanagement of finances (such as through a gambling addiction). None of these can be claimed to be explicit biblical grounds for a divorce.

In my opinion, That does not necessarily mean, though, that none of them are grounds for divorce which God would approve of. For example, we cannot imagine that it would be God’s desire for a wife to remain with a husband who physically abuses her and/or their children. In such an instance, the wife should definitely separate herself and the children from the abusive husband.

However, even in such a situation, a time of separation with the goal of repentance and restoration should be the ideal, not necessarily immediately beginning divorce proceedings. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Marital Unfaithfulness -

In Jewish custom, a man and a woman were considered married even while they were still engaged or “betrothed.” According to this view, immorality during this “betrothal” period would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.

However, the Greek word translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a word which can mean any form of sexual immorality. It can mean fornication, prostitution, adultery, etc. Jesus is possibly saying that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality is committed. Sexual relations are an integral part of the marital bond: “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore, any breaking of that bond by sexual relations outside of marriage might be a permissible reason for divorce.

If so, Jesus also has remarriage in mind in this passage. The phrase “and marries another” (Matthew 19:9) indicates that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an instance of the exception clause, whatever it is interpreted to be. It is important to note that only the innocent party is allowed to remarry.

Although it is not stated in the text, the allowance for remarriage after a divorce is God’s mercy for the one who was sinned against, not for the one who committed the sexual immorality.

We could go on and on trying to understand what Jesus is saying in Matt. 5:32, But one thing is a fact God hates divorce. The real question for Christians is do you believe 1. God is capable of changing and reforming any person. 2. God is capable of healing and renewing any marriage. 3. Divorce should only occur in instances of repeated and unrepentant heinous sin.

Sometimes lost in the debate over the exception clause is the fact that whatever “marital unfaithfulness” means, it is an allowance for divorce, not a requirement for it. Even when adultery is committed, a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32)

However, in many instances, a spouse is unrepentant and continues in sexual immorality. That is where Matthew 19:9 can possibly be applied. Many also look to quickly remarry after a divorce when God might desire them to remain single. God sometimes calls people to be single so that their attention is not divided (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Remarriage after a divorce may be an option in some circumstances, but that does not mean it is the only option.

Is Marriage for Everyone?

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NIV) 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Remarriage or Not ? Is being single better ?

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