Presentation on theme: "STYLE USE THE ACTIVE VOICE ELIMINATE JARGON KEEP CLARITY INDEX"— Presentation transcript:
1STYLE USE THE ACTIVE VOICE ELIMINATE JARGON KEEP CLARITY INDEX BELOW 40
2RULES OF THUMB 1. WORDS: USE CONCRETE, DIRECT WORDS, AND REMEMBER THAT A WORD WITH THREE SYLLABLESIS A LONG WORD.2. PHRASES: AVOID JARGON AND USE ACRONYMSSPARINGLY, AFTER SPELLING THEM OUT.3. SENTENCES: COMPOSE SENTENCES THATEXPRESS ONE IDEA. REMEMBER THAT LONGSENTENCES INCREASE READING GRADE LEVEL.4. PARAGRAPHS: KEEP PARAGRAPHS SHORT;COMPOSE PARAGRAPHS TO EXPRESS ONE TOPIC.5. MAIN ACTION: KEEP THE MAIN ACTION TO ONEPAGE, TWO PAGES MAXIMUM.
3CHECKLIST FOR ACHIEVING BREVITY a. Delete unnecessary summaries.b. Delete unnecessary quotations, data,or tables.c. Remove repetitive clauses, sentences, andparagraphs.d. Change the passive to active.e. Remove unneeded comparisons, descriptions,and modifiers.f. Read your writing aloud to yourself.g. Have someone else read your writing .
4ALTERNATIVE CONSTRUCTIONS 1. Attention is invited to...2. It is important to note that...3. It is necessary that...4. It must be remembered that...5. It cannot be overemphasized that...6. There is..., or There are...7. Needless to say...8. In order (for) (that)...
5MONTGOMERY’S PLAN FOR THE SINGLE THRUST WAS TO BE CALLED OPERATIONMARKET GARDEN, AN OPERATION WHICHWOULD ENTAIL A BOLD AND AUDACIOUSSCHEME OF MANEUVER, LANDING ANAIRBORNE FORCE ON A SALIENT SIXTY-FOURMILES LONG AND DEEP IN ENEMY-HELDTERRITORY IN HOLLAND FOLLOWED BY AGROUND MOVEMENT OF A CORPS-SIZEDMECHANIZED FORCE DRIVING FROM THENETHERLANDS BORDER TO A LINK-UP WITHTHE AIRBORNE FORCES AND A SUBSEQUENTTHRUST INTO THE HEART OF GERMANY.
6REASONS FOR THE ACTIVE VOICE IT IS CLEAR.IT IS BRIEFIT PLACES RESPONSIBILITY.IT IS PERSONAL
7SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION: VOICE 1. Frankie shot Johnny.2. Johnny was shot.3. Johnny was shot by Frankie.
8ACTIVE OR PASSIVE VOICE * WHEN THE SUBJECT ACTS, THEVERB IS ACTIVE.* WHEN THE SUBJECT IS ACTEDUPON, THE VERB IS PASSIVE.** EFFECTIVE ARMY WRITINGIS ACTIVE.
9PASSIVE VOICE The passive voice consists of a form of the verb “to be” plus the past participle.is given, are chosen, was counseledTAKE TOOK TAKENPresent Past Past participle
10PASSIVE VOICE EXAMPLE: The fuel handling operation Passive construction is only appropriate if theactor is unknown or unimportant.EXAMPLE: The fuel handling operationIS CONDUCTED by remote control.
11APPROPRIATE PASSIVE VOICE Christmas is celebrated on December 25th.The Bradley was designed to providemaximum firepower, protection, andmobility.I have been assigned to your unit.
12INAPPROPRIATE PASSIVE VOICE At about 0230 hours, it was reported thatthe motor pool gate key had not been returned;efforts were made to locate and secure it.
133 CURES FOR THE PASSIVE VOICE 1. PUT THE ACTOR BEFORE THE VERB.Example:--Appropriate clothing will be worn for allpersonnel.--All personnel will wear appropriate clothing.
143 CURES FOR THE PASSIVE VOICE 2. DROP PART OF THE VERB.Example:--All students are known to own personalcomputers.--All students own personal computers.
153 CURES FOR THE PASSIVE VOICE 3. CHANGE THE VERB.Example:--Personnel are prohibited from smokingduring refueling operations.--Personnel can not smoke during refuelingoperations.
16CLARITY INDEX THE CLARITY INDEX IS A QUICK, USEFUL WAY TO EVALUATE WHATWE’VE WRITTEN. IT GIVES US ANUMERICAL INDICATION OF THEREADABILITY OF A PIECE OF WRITING.
17CLARITY INDEX FORMULA -CHOOSE A SAMPLE OF ABOUT 200 WORDS. -COUNT THE NUMBER OF SENTENCES.-DIVIDE THE NUMBER OF WORDS BY THE NUMBER OF SENTENCES.-THE RESULT IS THE AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH.-COUNT THE NUMBER OF LONG WORDS.-DIVIDE THE NUMBER OF LONG WORDS BY THE TOTAL NUMBER OFWORDS.-THE RESULT IS THE PERCENTAGE OF LONG WORDS.-ADD THE AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH TO THE PERCENTAGEOF LONG WORDS. THE SUM IS THE CLARITY INDEX.-MULTIPLY THE CLARITY INDEX BY .4; THIS WILL GIVE YOU THEREADING GRADE LEVEL.
18OPERATION MARKET GARDEN Montgomery’s plan for the single thrust was to becalled Operation Market Garden, an operation whichwould entail a bold and audacious scheme ofmaneuver, landing an airborne force on a salient sixty-four miles long and deep into enemy-held territory inHolland followed by a ground movement of a corps-sized mechanized force driving from the Netherlandsborder to a link-up with the airborne forces and asubsequent thrust into the heart of Germany.
19OPERATION MARKET GARDEN--RGL TOTAL WORDS: 73SENTENCES: 1AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH: 73LONG WORDS: 12PERCENTAGE OF LONG WORDS: 16%CLARITY INDEX: 89READING GRADE LEVEL: 35.6
20OPERATION MARKET GARDEN--REWRITE Montgomery’s audacious plan for a single thrustinto the heart of Germany was Operation MarketGarden. It would entail landing an airborne force ona salient sixty-four miles long and deep into enemy-held territory in Holland. A ground movement of acorps-sized mechanized force, driving from theNetherlands border, would link up with the airborneforce to then move into Germany.
21OPERATION MARKET GARDEN REWRITE--RGL TOTAL NUMBER OF WORDS: 61.NUMBER OF SENTENCES: 3.AVERAGE SENTENCE LENGTH:NUMBER OF LONG WORDS: 11.PERCENTAGE OF LONG WORDS: 18%.CLARITY INDEX: 38.READING GRADE LEVEL: 15.2.