Presentation is loading. Please wait.

Presentation is loading. Please wait.

“GASLIGHTING” & TRAUMA: the experiences of partners of sex addicts Silvia V. Jason & Jennifer L. Graves September 2011.

Similar presentations


Presentation on theme: "“GASLIGHTING” & TRAUMA: the experiences of partners of sex addicts Silvia V. Jason & Jennifer L. Graves September 2011."— Presentation transcript:

1 “GASLIGHTING” & TRAUMA: the experiences of partners of sex addicts Silvia V. Jason & Jennifer L. Graves September 2011

2 About me Became a psychologist in native Chile in 1994 Became a psychologist in native Chile in 1994 Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in Texas in 2002 Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in Texas in 2002 Certified Trauma Resolution Therapist (CTRT) Certified Trauma Resolution Therapist (CTRT) Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Sex addiction practice “Healing & Hope”- Houston, TX - Sex addiction practice “Healing & Hope”- Houston, TX - women, men, couples women, men, couples Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

3 Partner Trauma Model Gaslighting: theory & research Clinical Implications Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

4

5 Neglected, Misunderstood, And even Harmed. Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

6 Neglected

7 Family of Origin Issues Partner Trauma Reactions Gender / Cultural issues Codependency Misunderstood

8 Harmed

9 Empathy failure

10 What has been missing: Focus on her issues. Focus on her issues. Her recovery is crucial for her as an individual. Her recovery is crucial for her as an individual. Her recovery becomes as important as the addict’s. Her recovery becomes as important as the addict’s. Her recovery is crucial for the survival of relationship. Her recovery is crucial for the survival of relationship. Her first commitment is with herself and her own recovery, not with supporting the addict’s recovery. Her first commitment is with herself and her own recovery, not with supporting the addict’s recovery. Partner as primary client: Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

11 Partner Trauma = Sex addiction as Trauma Stressor for the Partner Sex addiction as Trauma Stressor for the Partner What has been missing: Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011 Sex Addiction, both before and after the crisis of discovery, creates a traumatic injury in the Partner’s sense of self and frame of reference.

12 Integrated approach: Multi-causality Multi-causality Gender influences Gender influences Diversity: not everybody present same symptoms Diversity: not everybody present same symptoms What has been missing: Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

13 "The first principle of recovery is the empowerment of the survivor. She must be the author and arbiter of her own recovery.” -- Judith Lewis Herman Empowerment What has been missing: Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

14 Partner as protagonist.

15 Partner Trauma Recovery Model Partner Trauma Survival Responses: Recent and Long-standing Love/Relationship Addiction Family of Origin: Dysfunctional relationships Past trauma Gender Influences Other issues: Addictions Mental health problems Five Core Symptoms of Codependency Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

16 Partner Trauma Recovery Model Essence of Trauma: the abrupt disintegration of one’s inner world (Janoff-Bulman, 1992). Essence of Trauma: the abrupt disintegration of one’s inner world (Janoff-Bulman, 1992). Trauma affects the individual’s basic personal identity including their values, beliefs, and reality. Trauma affects the individual’s basic personal identity including their values, beliefs, and reality. “Large T” vs. “Small T” Trauma “Large T” vs. “Small T” Trauma “large T” trauma – a specific event such as rape, war combat, a natural disaster, or torture “large T” trauma – a specific event such as rape, war combat, a natural disaster, or torture “small T” trauma – a series of upsetting experiences with a common theme, such as being lied to repeatedly, that cumulatively build to create a traumatic experience “small T” trauma – a series of upsetting experiences with a common theme, such as being lied to repeatedly, that cumulatively build to create a traumatic experience

17 { relational trauma emotional trauma shatteredinnerworld sexualtrauma lifecrisis PARTNER TRAUMA

18 Partner Trauma Recovery Model Five Dimensions of Partner Trauma relational trauma – Attachment Injury - includes the violation of trust, dishonesty, infidelity, or betrayal of any intimate relationship. relational trauma – Attachment Injury - includes the violation of trust, dishonesty, infidelity, or betrayal of any intimate relationship. life crisis – trauma symptoms - “Large T” Trauma – individual, impactful traumatic events: Discovery & Disclosure. life crisis – trauma symptoms - “Large T” Trauma – individual, impactful traumatic events: Discovery & Disclosure. sexual trauma - symptoms akin to sexual abuse – affecting self image and partner’s sexuality sexual trauma - symptoms akin to sexual abuse – affecting self image and partner’s sexuality shattered inner world – trauma threatens beliefs about self, partner, intimate relationships shattered inner world – trauma threatens beliefs about self, partner, intimate relationships emotional trauma – “Small T” Trauma - includes patterns of denial of reality and emotional abuse used by the addict to protect the addiction. emotional trauma – “Small T” Trauma - includes patterns of denial of reality and emotional abuse used by the addict to protect the addiction.

19 Partner Trauma: Entryway to Treatment Silvia Jason © 2011 Partner Trauma Recovery Model

20 Gaslighting Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

21 { 1944 mystery-thriller film Director: George Cukor Writer: Patrick Hamilton (play) 1938

22 “A story that reveals a man’s secret and unholy desires… … and probes into the strange emotional depths of one woman’s heart.” Gaslight (1944) Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

23 What is Gaslighting? Refers to a variety of insidious techniques that cause people to question their perceptions, their memory, and their own grip on reality. Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

24 An individual (or group of individuals) attempts to influence the mental functioning of a second individual by causing the latter to doubt the validity of his or her judgments, perceptions, and/or reality in order that the victim will more readily submit his will and person to the victimizer. An individual (or group of individuals) attempts to influence the mental functioning of a second individual by causing the latter to doubt the validity of his or her judgments, perceptions, and/or reality in order that the victim will more readily submit his will and person to the victimizer. Two Characteristics: Two Characteristics: One person attempts to control the feelings, thoughts, or activities of another. One person attempts to control the feelings, thoughts, or activities of another. The practice is carried out covertly. The practice is carried out covertly. Definition of Gaslighting (Dorpat 1996) Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

25 A partner who does this may continually deny that certain events occurred or that he or she said something you both know was said, or he or she may insinuate that you are exaggerating or lying. In this way, the abusive person may be trying to gain control over you or to avoid taking responsibility for his or her actions…. It is sometimes used… as a way to justify their own inappropriate, cruel, or abusive behavior. Definition of Gaslighting (Engel 2002) Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

26 The Gaslight Effect results from a relationship between two people: The gaslighter: The gaslighter: has an agenda has an agenda keep a secret keep a secret meet his needs to be right meet his needs to be right be in control be in control keep his power in the relationship keep his power in the relationship takes action to cover up behaviors takes action to cover up behaviors he does not want his partner to discover his intentions he does not want his partner to discover his intentions Silvia Jason © 2011 Definition of Gaslighting (Stern 2007)

27 The gaslightee: The gaslightee: allows the gaslighter to define her sense of reality allows the gaslighter to define her sense of reality she idealizes him she idealizes him seeks his approval seeks his approval wants to believe him wants to believe him wants his love and protection wants his love and protection she's reluctant to blame him for it or to see him differently she's reluctant to blame him for it or to see him differently she'd rather preserve her romantic image of the perfect husband. she'd rather preserve her romantic image of the perfect husband. Silvia Jason © 2011 Definition of Gaslighting (Stern 2007)

28 The gaslighter needs to be right, the gaslightee needs to win his approval, and so the gaslighting goes on. The gaslighter needs to be right, the gaslightee needs to win his approval, and so the gaslighting goes on. When confronted with an issue that threatens his agenda, Gaslighter reacts by trying to control the feelings, thoughts or actions of Gaslightee. When confronted with an issue that threatens his agenda, Gaslighter reacts by trying to control the feelings, thoughts or actions of Gaslightee. denying issue: it’s her imagination denying issue: it’s her imagination other explanations other explanations a plot to hide her own actions a plot to hide her own actions or the perception of a woman in need of psychiatric help or the perception of a woman in need of psychiatric help her suspicion, lack of trust and accusations are the actual issues causing the couple to have distance in the first place. her suspicion, lack of trust and accusations are the actual issues causing the couple to have distance in the first place. Silvia Jason © 2011 Definition of Gaslighting (Stern 2007)

29 In so doing, the Gaslighter pressures the victim into accepting the Gaslighter’s judgment, and causes the Gaslightee to doubt her own perceptions and judgments. In so doing, the Gaslighter pressures the victim into accepting the Gaslighter’s judgment, and causes the Gaslightee to doubt her own perceptions and judgments. This is all done covertly and is not explicitly hostile, abusive, or coercive. This is all done covertly and is not explicitly hostile, abusive, or coercive. Definition of Gaslighting (Stern 2007) Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

30 If a wife were to ask her husband if he is having an affair, a textbook Gaslighter response would go something like this: “How could you believe I would ever have an affair? You must be preoccupied with an affair yourself! You’re just being suspicious!” If a wife were to ask her husband if he is having an affair, a textbook Gaslighter response would go something like this: “How could you believe I would ever have an affair? You must be preoccupied with an affair yourself! You’re just being suspicious!” The Gaslighter has denied the issue, accused her of trying to hide her own actions, and is blaming her for the problems in the relationship. The Gaslighter has denied the issue, accused her of trying to hide her own actions, and is blaming her for the problems in the relationship. Examples of Gaslighting Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

31 Examples: “When you accuse me of things that I pride myself with always upholding, it makes me not want to be around you!” “When you accuse me of things that I pride myself with always upholding, it makes me not want to be around you!” “That's what our distance and unhappiness is all about, right there! You are always thinking I'm having an affair!” “That's what our distance and unhappiness is all about, right there! You are always thinking I'm having an affair!” “Your disbelief in me is what has come between us!” “Your disbelief in me is what has come between us!” “If you could just believe in me, everything would be the way it was before.” “If you could just believe in me, everything would be the way it was before.” Silvia Jason © 2011

32 “My husband used to look at women when we were out, and say ‘What is SHE wearing?!’. He lead me to believe that he was disapproving of, or shocked by, what women wear in public now days. Years later, during disclosure, he confessed he did this to be able to look at women without me complaining about it” From a Partner: Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

33 Husband’s behavior: sexualizing other women in public. Husband’s behavior: sexualizing other women in public. His agenda: to continue doing it and to avoid conflict with partner. His agenda: to continue doing it and to avoid conflict with partner. When confronted, he admits he was looking, but says “he is not enjoying the view, he is just shocked”. When confronted, he admits he was looking, but says “he is not enjoying the view, he is just shocked”. Confirms part of wife’s perception, but lies about his motivation. Confirms part of wife’s perception, but lies about his motivation. Partner believes his explanation, there is a grain of truth in the story. Partner believes his explanation, there is a grain of truth in the story. he is not denying he is looking he is not denying he is looking some women do dress to get attention some women do dress to get attention he is being honest after all he is being honest after all he is as shocked as I am by women’s outfits he is as shocked as I am by women’s outfits even though I’d rather him not to look at other women, at least he doesn’t do it out of lust even though I’d rather him not to look at other women, at least he doesn’t do it out of lust He has manipulated partner’s reality. He has manipulated partner’s reality. Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

34 Our Research questions: How do sex addicts utilize gaslighting? How do sex addicts utilize gaslighting? What is the impact of gaslighting on partners, particularly as it relates to trauma? What is the impact of gaslighting on partners, particularly as it relates to trauma? Our research: “ Gaslighting” and Trauma: the Experiences of Partners of Sex Addicts Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

35 Deception - to cause to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid; to give a false impression Deception - to cause to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid; to give a false impression Coercion - to compel to an act or choice; to achieve by force or threat Coercion - to compel to an act or choice; to achieve by force or threat Manipulation - to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage Manipulation - to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage Dimensions of Gaslighting (Jason & Graves 2011) Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

36 Mind Games - a psychological tactic used to manipulate or intimidate Mind Games - a psychological tactic used to manipulate or intimidate Brainwashing - a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting ideas; persuasion by propaganda or salesmanship Brainwashing - a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting ideas; persuasion by propaganda or salesmanship Reality Manipulation – attempts to convince others through manipulation that what they perceive or believe in is inaccurate or untrue. Reality Manipulation – attempts to convince others through manipulation that what they perceive or believe in is inaccurate or untrue. Dimensions of Gaslighting (Jason & Graves 2011)

37 Survey targeted at the partners of sex addicts. Survey targeted at the partners of sex addicts. 57 Questions 57 Questions Mostly Open-Ended Mostly Open-Ended Demographics, Addiction and Treatment Info, Interactions and Experiences Demographics, Addiction and Treatment Info, Interactions and Experiences ed an invitation to many people in the COSA / SAA community in Houston via various list-servs. ed an invitation to many people in the COSA / SAA community in Houston via various list-servs. Hard copies were given during workshops, therapy sessions, and support group meetings. Hard copies were given during workshops, therapy sessions, and support group meetings. At least forty-two partners started the survey and twenty-four completed the survey in its entirety. At least forty-two partners started the survey and twenty-four completed the survey in its entirety. Our data comes from these 24 completed surveys. Our data comes from these 24 completed surveys. Our Research Design Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

38 Sex Male0% (n=0) Female100% (n=24) Race White/Caucasian87.5% (n=21) Black/African-American4.2% (n=1) Hispanic/Latino8.3% (n=2) Asian-American0% (n=0) Other0% (n=0) Household Income Below $20,0010% (n=0) $20,001 - $40,0004.2% (n=1) $40,001 - $60, % (n=5) $60,001 - $80,0004.2% (n=1) $80, $100, % (n=4) Over $100, % (n=13) Education Less Than HS0% (n=0) HS or GED4.2% (n=1) Some College8.3% (n=2) College Degree50% (n=12) Graduate Degree37.5% (n=9) AgeMean: Length of Partner’s SA AwarenessMean: 6.3 Years Percentage of Respondents in Treatment75% (n=18) Demographics

39 BehaviorPercentage of Respondents Who Agree Deception91.3% (n=21) Coercion50% (n=12) Manipulation87.5% (n=21) Playing Mind Games83.3% (n=20) Brainwashing50% (n=12) Reality Manipulation62.5% (n=15) Gaslighting Is Very Common! Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

40 Redirecting Blame Redirecting Blame Imagination and Faulty Thinking Imagination and Faulty Thinking Needs Psychiatric Help Needs Psychiatric Help Character Flaws Character Flaws Respondents’ Experiences Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

41 “He has the ability to turn anything around back at me and confuse me.” “He has the ability to turn anything around back at me and confuse me.” “When I would question him about his behavior he would become angry, defensive and focus blame on me.” “When I would question him about his behavior he would become angry, defensive and focus blame on me.” “He would twist things around and try to say that whatever he was doing, I was doing.” “He would twist things around and try to say that whatever he was doing, I was doing.” “My husband would get angry with me if I didn't want to have sex and start to blame me for his behavior.” “My husband would get angry with me if I didn't want to have sex and start to blame me for his behavior.” “He would try to turn things around on me and make it my fault.” “He would try to turn things around on me and make it my fault.” “When he feels guilt or shame for things he has done, he is good at shifting the focus off of him and putting blame and doubt of myself into my head.” “When he feels guilt or shame for things he has done, he is good at shifting the focus off of him and putting blame and doubt of myself into my head.” Respondents’ Experiences Partner’s Problems: Redirecting Blame Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

42 “He tried to make me think that he had stopped [acting out] and all of this was in my imagination.” “He tried to make me think that he had stopped [acting out] and all of this was in my imagination.” “He used to tell me my feelings were wrong, that my emotions were faulty and that I had bizarre thinking.” “He used to tell me my feelings were wrong, that my emotions were faulty and that I had bizarre thinking.” “He would tell me I was crazy…. That I was wrong and all men did these things.” “He would tell me I was crazy…. That I was wrong and all men did these things.” “[He made] me think that my perceptions of reality were not real.” “[He made] me think that my perceptions of reality were not real.” Respondents’ Experiences Partner’s Problems: Imagination & Faulty Thinking Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

43 He was always “telling me I had problems and I needed to see a therapist.” He was always “telling me I had problems and I needed to see a therapist.” “[My partner would tell me] that I’m the problem… and I need to work a better program.” “[My partner would tell me] that I’m the problem… and I need to work a better program.” He told me I needed to “work my steps.” He told me I needed to “work my steps.” Respondents’ Experiences Partner’s Problems: Needs Psychiatric Help Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

44 “My partner left the country with the company's accountant because he said she was terminal and wanted to give her the time of her life. He said I was being selfish for not letting him go.” “My partner left the country with the company's accountant because he said she was terminal and wanted to give her the time of her life. He said I was being selfish for not letting him go.” “He convinced me I was unreasonable/insecure to not want him to associate socially with his ex-wife.” “He convinced me I was unreasonable/insecure to not want him to associate socially with his ex-wife.” “He tried to convince me that my feelings of something being ‘not quite right’ were about me and my problems of trust.” “He tried to convince me that my feelings of something being ‘not quite right’ were about me and my problems of trust.” “I am shrill and blaming so that gives him a ‘right’ to act out.” “I am shrill and blaming so that gives him a ‘right’ to act out.” Respondents’ Experiences Partner’s Problems: Character Flaws Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

45 “So as not to smell like smoke from a bar, my husband would change clothes to go to a bar and change back into what he wore that morning to come back home in. He would also take a shower at work if necessary before he came home. This had me convinced that since he worked in an unairconditioned metal building much of the day but didn’t smell when he came home, that I had some unusual problem with body odor because I would smell… [if I] did anything outside even though I slathered on deodorant every morning.” Respondents’ Experiences Partner’s Problems: Character Flaws Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

46 Anxiety Anxiety Confusion Confusion Doubting Own Memory & Perception Doubting Own Memory & Perception Second Guessing Reality Second Guessing Reality Three Stages: 1. Disbelief - thinking she has misunderstood, or that the gaslighter didn't really mean it. 2. Defense - she starts defending herself. Search for evidence to prove gaslighter wrong and argue with him obsessively, often in her head, desperately trying to clear things up. 3. Depression - exhausted, overwhelmed, worn out. Discard own reality. Effects of Gaslighting (Stern 2007) Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

47 Gaslighting  “Small T” Trauma “They [his deceptions] didn't make sense. Sometimes he was convincing and I felt like I was going crazy.” “They [his deceptions] didn't make sense. Sometimes he was convincing and I felt like I was going crazy.” “To think that I trusted someone and could have been so completely fooled by them is scary. It makes me doubt myself and doubt my judgment, which I used to think was pretty good.” “To think that I trusted someone and could have been so completely fooled by them is scary. It makes me doubt myself and doubt my judgment, which I used to think was pretty good.” “He belittled me by telling me that I was rude to other people. I believe now that he did that to try to change my behavior. He did this to me countless times…. I still struggle with trying to figure out if I am rude or not.” “He belittled me by telling me that I was rude to other people. I believe now that he did that to try to change my behavior. He did this to me countless times…. I still struggle with trying to figure out if I am rude or not.” “He blamed me and my actions in other areas when he acted out, like I was not sexual enough. I truly came to believe that I was not good enough sexually and that my sexuality was my only valuable commodity.” “He blamed me and my actions in other areas when he acted out, like I was not sexual enough. I truly came to believe that I was not good enough sexually and that my sexuality was my only valuable commodity.” Effects of Gaslighting Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

48 Partners frequently utilized words similar to those used by trauma victims such as anger, devastation, betrayal, shock, guilt, sadness, powerlessness, and shame to describe how they felt after being gaslighted. Partners frequently utilized words similar to those used by trauma victims such as anger, devastation, betrayal, shock, guilt, sadness, powerlessness, and shame to describe how they felt after being gaslighted. “[After his deception] I felt betrayed, hurt, angry, and shame.” “[After his deception] I felt betrayed, hurt, angry, and shame.” “I was completely shocked and devastated and also angry at him for lying.” “I was completely shocked and devastated and also angry at him for lying.” “I was angry…. Felt hopeless and disempowered by his insistence that these behaviors were harmless.” “I was angry…. Felt hopeless and disempowered by his insistence that these behaviors were harmless.” Some respondents even utilized words like abused or threatened. Some respondents even utilized words like abused or threatened. “I felt abused, stupid, like I set myself up.” “I felt abused, stupid, like I set myself up.” “I felt scared, threatened, sad, alone.” “I felt scared, threatened, sad, alone.” Effects of Gaslighting Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

49 Clinical Implications Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

50 Gaslighting as part of Addiction Process Active addiction involves a degree of gaslighting. Active addiction involves a degree of gaslighting. Emotional abuse (Carter, 1989): 1% intentional 1% intentional 20% semiconscious – defense mechanism 20% semiconscious – defense mechanism Most people – occasionally, unconsciously, unintentionally Most people – occasionally, unconsciously, unintentionally The process of gaslighting results in symptoms for the gaslightee. The process of gaslighting results in symptoms for the gaslightee. Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

51 Gaslighting and Partners Recovery Partners need to heal from Gaslighting trauma: Identify past gaslighting episodes. Identify the patterns of gaslighting in relationship. Identify situations in which gaslighting is more likely to happen. Identify things Partners say or do before and during gaslighting incidents. Identify power plays or manipulative actions before and during gaslighting incidents. Identify the ways Partners seek gaslighter’s approval and insist on his reassurance. Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

52 Partners need to learn strategies to handle Gasligthing incidents. Partners need help and support through the process. Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011 Gaslighting and Partners Recovery

53 Sex Addicts Individual Recovery: Changing Behavior Changing Behavior Changing Thinking Changing Thinking Healing Emotional Impact on Self Healing Emotional Impact on Self Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011 Gaslighting and Sex Addicts Recovery

54 It is NOT just the gaslightee that is harmed by gaslighting – the gaslighter is hurt, too. It is NOT just the gaslightee that is harmed by gaslighting – the gaslighter is hurt, too. Addicts need to address the impact of gaslighting on themselves. Addicts need to address the impact of gaslighting on themselves. Specifically, sex addicts that gaslight their partners in an effort to hide or deny their addiction experience a form of self- induced trauma. Specifically, sex addicts that gaslight their partners in an effort to hide or deny their addiction experience a form of self- induced trauma. → Acting out outside of own value system shatters own core assumptions and beliefs about Self Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011 Gaslighting and Sex Addicts Recovery

55 Acknowledgement of Partner Trauma as part of recovery. Acknowledgement of Partner Trauma as part of recovery. Address the impact of gaslighting on their partners. Address the impact of gaslighting on their partners. Relationship recovery: Relationship recovery: Trust rebuilding process based on: Honesty – Accountability – Empathy Addict needs to develop empathy towards the partner. Addict needs to develop empathy towards the partner. Make commitment to stop engaging in gaslighting behaviors. Make commitment to stop engaging in gaslighting behaviors. And make amends for prior gaslighting. And make amends for prior gaslighting. Healing Impact on Relationship Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

56 → Addicts need help and support through the process. Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011 Gaslighting and Sex Addicts Recovery

57 Workshop for Partners Movie Movie Discussion Discussion Gaslighting Theory & Research Gaslighting Theory & Research Effects of Gaslighting Effects of Gaslighting Types of Gaslighters Types of Gaslighters Risk Factors & Traps Risk Factors & Traps Gaslighting and Sex Addiction Recovery Gaslighting and Sex Addiction Recovery Keeping your life Gaslight-free Keeping your life Gaslight-free What to do when in “Gaslighting danger” What to do when in “Gaslighting danger” Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © one-day workshops - 31 women

58 Workshop for Sex Addicts Movie Movie Discussion Discussion Gaslighting Theory & Research Gaslighting Theory & Research Effects of Gaslighting Effects of Gaslighting Understanding the Gaslighter Understanding the Gaslighter Why do I do it? Why do I do it? How do I change? How do I change? Healing the impact of Gaslighting on relationship Healing the impact of Gaslighting on relationship Healing the impact of Gaslighting on self: Gaslighting as trauma for the addict Healing the impact of Gaslighting on self: Gaslighting as trauma for the addict Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © two-day workshop - 10 men

59 Gaslighting – relevant concept Framework to understand Partners experience Framework to understand Partners experience → acknowledgment and validation Reframes / normalizes relationship dynamics Reframes / normalizes relationship dynamics Facilitate Healing for Partners Facilitate Healing for Partners Facilitate Healing for Addicts Facilitate Healing for Addicts → identify tools to address problem Potential interventions Potential interventions Gaslighting and Recovery Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

60 Q & A Q & A Silvia Jason, LMFT, CSAT © 2011

61 Thank You


Download ppt "“GASLIGHTING” & TRAUMA: the experiences of partners of sex addicts Silvia V. Jason & Jennifer L. Graves September 2011."

Similar presentations


Ads by Google