2. SESSION V Helping Your Children Internalize Biblical Values SESSION V Helping Your Children Internalize Biblical Values 1. Restoring Your Relationship with Your Children 2. Establishing their Relationship with God

3. INTERNALIZING VALUES

4. Conflicts are inevitable in relationships. Unresolved conflicts negatively effect relationships. When the messenger is not ACCEPTED the message is REJECTED. When the messenger is not ACCEPTED the message is REJECTED. Conflicts arise when values are not SHARED. Conflicts arise when values are not SHARED. Values are not shared when RELATIONSHIPS are broken. Values are not shared when RELATIONSHIPS are broken. How do you know if relationships are strained? How do you know if relationships are strained? INTERNALIZING VALUES PART ONE: RESTORING RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN

5. INTERNALIZING VALUES 1.Start with OURSELVES Matthew 7:3-5 – 3 And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

6. INTERNALIZING VALUES a.Unconditional ACCEPTANCE b.PROACTIVE love. 2.INITIATE restoration of relationship. Romans 15:7 – Wherefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.

7. INTERNALIZING VALUES ADMIT your mistakes.ADMIT your mistakes. Ask FORGIVENESS from your children.Ask FORGIVENESS from your children. Ask forgiveness from your own PARENTS.Ask forgiveness from your own PARENTS. Forgive your CHILDREN.Forgive your CHILDREN. Forgive your PARENTS.Forgive your PARENTS. 3.INITIATE FORGIVENESS “Forgiveness is the oil that reduces the friction in relationships.”

8. INTERNALIZING VALUES 4.ASK how we can improve. a.We should do this REGULARLY. b.We should not rationalize or DEFEND ourselves. c.We should listen. d.We should CHANGE for the better.

9. INTERNALIZING VALUES 5.Demonstrate TRUST. a.Avoid the “ONE-MISTAKE” syndrome – because of one mistake, we don’t trust them anymore. b.Avoid RECALLING their past mistakes. c.Give them the BENEFIT of the doubt.

10. INTERNALIZING VALUES 6.Major on the MAJOR. a.Don’t have to fight EVERY issue. b.Give in to MINOR issues. c.Learn to ADJUST. d.Communicate core VALUES. e.Ask: Is it a MORAL issue? f.Ask: Will it MATTER10 years from now?

11. INTERNALIZING VALUES 7.Allow God time to WORK. a.Give them SPACE. b.Give them TIME. c.Allow God to work in YOUR life. d.Allow God to work in THEIR lives. e.PRAY! f.ENTRUST them to God.

12. INTERNALIZING VALUES 8.Have FUN! a.Have a JOYFUL environment. b.Have a POSITIVE home environment.

13. INTERNALIZING VALUES PART TWO The ultimate goal of parenting is to help our children mature into Christ-likeness. To learn to live independently from us and be dependent on the Lord. Most parents focus on external behavior. What is crucial is how they will behave when we are no longer around.

14. INTERNALIZING VALUES I.THE GOD FACTOR SECULAR PARENTING

15. INTERNALIZING VALUES I.THE GOD FACTOR SECULAR PARENTING TRADITIONAL CHRISTIAN PARENTING

16. INTERNALIZING VALUES I.THE GOD FACTOR SECULAR PARENTING TRADITIONAL CHRISTIAN PARENTING BIBLICAL PARENTING

17. INTERNALIZING VALUES SECULARSECULARTRADITIONALTRADITIONALBIBLICALBIBLICAL God is left out.God is mentioned.God is central. Parents may or may not know God. Parents know and love God. Secular and temporal values – career. Bible is not taught. Christian values taught. Bible is taught. Christian values modeled. Bible is taught and lived. Parents delegate responsibility to others. Parents delegate responsibility of education to church and Christian school. Parents assume the responsibility.

18. INTERNALIZING VALUES SECULARSECULARTRADITIONALTRADITIONALBIBLICALBIBLICAL Parents not connected to God. Parents don’t connect children to God. Parents connect children to God. Children don’t know God. Children know God personally. Children worldly / materialistic. Children lukewarm/worldly Children love and serve God. Children accountable to friends / other people. Children accountable to parents and to people. Children accountable to parents and to God.

19. INTERNALIZING VALUES SECULARSECULARTRADITIONALTRADITIONALBIBLICALBIBLICAL Approach: Too liberal or too strict. Approach: Legalistic Approach: Love and Grace “Do as I say not as I do”. Do’s and don’ts Impose Christian religion. Impose values. Impose church. Love and Grace Discipline in love Proactive not reactive. Model God’s Word. Teach God’s Word.

20. INTERNALIZING VALUES SECULARSECULARTRADITIONALTRADITIONALBIBLICALBIBLICAL End Product: Children develop secular values. End Product: Children compromise Christian values. End Product: Children internalize Christian values.

21. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD 1.There’s a God-shaped VACUUM in the heart of every person including our children. Only God can FILL that void and emptiness in us. 2.Children are not just physical beings. They are also EMOTIONAL beings and SPIRITUAL beings.

22. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD BODY SOUL SPIRIT

23. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD Mark 8:36-37 – “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” Ephesians 2:1 – And you were dead in your trespasses and sins.

24. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD They try to fill the emptiness with SUBSTITUTES. They try to fill the emptiness with SUBSTITUTES. Parties Parties Relationships Relationships Activities Activities Possessions Possessions Drugs Drugs Music Music Movies, TV, Computer Movies, TV, Computer

25. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD 3.God WANTS us to know Him. To know God is to LOVE Him.To know God is to LOVE Him. To love Him is to OBEY Him.To love Him is to OBEY Him. An unknown God cannot be LOVED or TRUSTEDAn unknown God cannot be LOVED or TRUSTED

26. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD 3.God KNOW us to know Him. Jeremiah 9:23-24 - Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.

27. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD 4.Our children can have a personal RELATIONSHIP with God through Jesus Christ. John 14:6 – Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me. Romans 6:23 – For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

28. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD 5.Our children’s hearts can only be TRANSFORMED by God and His Word. Ezekiel 36:26 – “Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 2 Timothy 3:16 – All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.

29. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD 6.Our children need to be EMPOWERED by the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:16 – But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. Galatians 5:22-23 – 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self- control; against such things there is no law.

30. INTERNALIZING VALUES II. THE NEED FOR GOD 7.Our children need our PRAYERS. John 16:24 – “Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be made full

31. INTERNALIZING VALUES 1.“When we work, we work; when we PRAY God works” 2.It is important they have God in their life to reach their full POTENTIAL to love, serve and obey Him. 3.Fulfillment comes when their lives are in LINE with the will of God. 4.Parenting is not about us but it is God WORKING in and through us and DIRECTLY in the hearts and lives of our children. 1.“When we work, we work; when we PRAY God works” 2.It is important they have God in their life to reach their full POTENTIAL to love, serve and obey Him. 3.Fulfillment comes when their lives are in LINE with the will of God. 4.Parenting is not about us but it is God WORKING in and through us and DIRECTLY in the hearts and lives of our children.

32. INTERNALIZING VALUES 5.We must realize that APART from God, we can do nothing of eternal values. 6.We are just STEWARDS of God’s children. 7.We must make the most of the OPPORTUNITY that God has given us to raise up our children for Him. 5.We must realize that APART from God, we can do nothing of eternal values. 6.We are just STEWARDS of God’s children. 7.We must make the most of the OPPORTUNITY that God has given us to raise up our children for Him.

33. INTERNALIZING VALUES CONCLUSION SESSION V Helping Your Children Internalize Biblical Values SESSION V Helping Your Children Internalize Biblical Values 1. Will you restore your healthy relationship with your children? 2. Will you establish their relationship with God? 1. Will you restore your healthy relationship with your children? 2. Will you establish their relationship with God?

34. INTERNALIZING VALUES “Pa, salamat guid sa imo…” “Pa, salamat guid sa imo…” “Ma, I love you …” you …” “Ma, I love you …”