Training on Listening Skill Bombay Intelligence Security (India) Ltd. By: Mr. Nitin Dabade
Objective for this presentation Understand the importance of listening Identify ways to demonstrate active listening.
Hearing and Listening Hearing Physical process Mechanical Effortless No energy is used Passive Listening Physiological Chemical Involves efforts Energy is utilized Active
Are you a Good Listener? Have you ever wondered if you a good listener? You appreciate it when others listen to what you have to say, especially in the workplace.
Do you… Talk when others are talking? Often have to ask people to repeat themselves? Often interrupt others when they’re talking? Let your feelings for the speaker interfere with your listening ability? Jump to conclusions before the speaker is finished talking?
Characteristics of Poor Listeners The following are all examples of poor listening skills. – Poor listeners use statements blocking the person speaking from staying on topic. – Example: “The fact are…” “You had better…” “You should…” “It doesn’t really matter…”
Characteristics of Poor Listeners cont’d. Poor listeners interrupt the speaker, uses thoughts from what the other person has just said and expresses their own thoughts. Example: “Oh, well, I know. Listen what happened to me in the situation…” “Always trying to one-up a story…”
Characteristics of Poor Listeners cont’d. Poor listeners talk about their thoughts without giving any indication they heard what the other person has said. – Example: Speaker: “ I am feeling really overworked and stressed out.” Listener: “Have you seen my keys?”
What is Active Listening? In the workplace, people don’t always say what they mean. Learning to become a better listener can greatly improve workplace communications. Active Listening: Is listening beyond words in order to understand the deeper message. Active listeners are able to detect and reflect the feelings that give emotional energy to language.
10 Tips to Effective & Active Listening Skills Face the speaker. Sit up straight or lean forward slightly to show your attentiveness through body language. Maintain eye contact, to the degree that you all remain comfortable. Minimize external distractions. Turn off the TV. Put down your book or magazine, and ask the speaker and other listeners to do the same. Respond appropriately to show that you understand. Murmur (“uh- huh” and “um-hmm”) and nod. Raise your eyebrows. Say words such as “Really,” “Interesting,” as well as more direct prompts: “What did you do then?” and “What did she say?”
Focus solely on what the speaker is saying. Try not to think about what you are going to say next. The conversation will follow a logical flow after the speaker makes her point Minimize internal distractions. If your own thoughts keep horning in, simply let them go and continuously re-focus your attention on the speaker, much as you would during meditation.
Keep an open mind. Wait until the speaker is finished before deciding that you disagree. Try not to make assumptions about what the speaker is thinking. Avoid letting the speaker know how you handled a similar situation. Unless they specifically ask for advice, assume they just need to talk it out. Even if the speaker is launching a complaint against you, wait until they finish to defend yourself. The speaker will feel as though their point had been made. They won’t feel the need to repeat it, and you’ll know the whole argument before you respond. Research shows that, on average, we can hear four times faster than we can talk, so we have the ability to sort ideas as they come in…and be ready for more.
Engage yourself. Ask questions for clarification, but, once again, wait until the speaker has finished. That way, you won’t interrupt their train of thought. After you ask questions, paraphrase their point to make sure you didn’t misunderstand. Start with: “So you’re saying…” As you work on developing your listening skills, you may feel a bit panicky when there is a natural pause in the conversation. What should you say next? Learn to settle into the silence and use it to better understand all points of view. Ironically, as your listening skills improve, so will your aptitude for conversation. A friend of my partner once complimented me on my conversational skills. I hadn’t said more than four words, but I had listened to him for 25 minutes.
Body Language and Listening Skills Good Listening is more than what words you use when listening. Active listeners communicate without interrupting. They use body language to demonstrate their attention and interest.
While listening Actively: Occasionally nod your head in agreement with what the speaker is say, but don’t be a booble-head.” Make eye contact. Smile encouragingly. Give the speaker personal space. Don’t fold your arms: – The speaker may interpret as a sign of negativity or hostility.
Why do we listen? To gain information. To get feed back. To participate in another’s story. To hear of their experiences and insights. To be in control(information is power) To broaden our horizons(to learn) To create a relationship. To respect and value others.
Why don’t we listen? Hearing is by ears and ‘listening’ is by mind. Impediments to listening: Filtering -gender,age,size,invasion of body space, foul language,lack of, education,hostility,timidity bad grammar,poor enunciation,body odor, poor table manners, rudeness,laziness etc. Imprecision -administrative aide to set up a computer spread sheet but added research data also. Inattention -vagabond mind,reasons-anxiety,boredom,variations in speed,other priorities.
Mismatching –failures cut both ways,the speaker fails to match,the listener fails to grasp and responds inappropriately.It takes two to fail at a conversation.Age difference leads to vocabulary mismatches, different aims, conceptual differences. Inflexibility-when you listen, you don’t talk. Other negative listening behaviours. Closes eyes Glazes at the wall or ceiling Glares at the speakers Clicks the pen up and down Uses cell phone Whispers
Listening techniques that work Listen to body language and other non verbal cues. Listen precisely- avoid paraphrasing the message and seek instead to preserve and record the speakers exact words. It ensures accuracy, fosters civility, increases vocabulary,enhances retention,provides permanent records, focuses attention,helps follow structure, clarifies direction,enhances your professional stature.
Repeat – let me repeat exactly what you said, this will help us serve you better, you seem to have said. Empathize- means identification with and understanding of another’s situation.You don’t judge, advise, or instruct but reflect sympathetically. Focus on the feeling of the speaker.e.g..you seem so distressed, that must have upset you. Clarify – clarification questions go beyond repetition. They seek expansion of the message heard. Please explain what does empowerment mean? This term productivity needs explanation.
Probe – for additional information.please give me the details,what, who,where,when. Listen Instructionally- responds to direct the discussion while validating the comment.e.g. thank you for raising the issue of empowerment There is communication even in silence - how to listen, when to listen.
POSITIVE IMPACT OF POSITIVE LISTENING Accentuate the positives How do you feel when someone really listens to you? Respected Cared for That you’ve gained rapport Rewarded Satisfied Sense of achievement Positive feelings: Increased productivity Stronger working relationship Better quality of work Greater customer satisfaction
Repeat business Easier and better problem solving Greater cooperation and team work Less stress Listening is a powerful means of communication that can increase your effectiveness on the job. THE THREE STAGES OF THE LISTENING PROCESS Stage one - receiving: you take in the speakers message through your senses, hearing and seeing. Stage two - processing: this activity takes place in your mind and involves analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing. Great deal of concentration is needed. “What does the speaker mean?” Stage three - responding: the speaker sees and hears what the listener does. The speaker feels respected and understood by the listener, connection is made and productivity goes up.
DO’S Do –concentrate on what the speaker is saying Maintain eye contact Smile and nod appropriately Concentrate on speakers main idea Don’t antagonize the speaker Leave your emotions behind React to ideas not to persons Avoid hasty judgments Ask questions Avoid jumping to conclusions Give accurate feedback Listen more talk less