HOW GIRLS AND BOYS BULLY Emily Worsnopp CNED: Technology for School Counselors Fall 2007 She Said, He Said
Bullying: What If It Happens to Me? Scenario: Every time that you walk by the class bully in the hallway, he or she teases your or insults you, causing everyone to laugh at you. Do you: Hang your head and walk away. Grin and walk away with your head held high. Tell the bully that you don’t care what he/she thinks. Tell the bully that you don’t care what he/she thinks. Go hang out with people who don’t treat you this way. Go hang out with people who don’t treat you this way. Threaten the bully. Tell someone.
Friendships are good for a lot of reasons. Often bullies pick on people who are alone or who have few friends because they are easy targets. Having friends around can help you feel better about yourself and protect you from bullies.
The bully is probably just trying to get an “emotional payoff” by seeing you miserable. By smiling and walking away you’re taking away his/her fun and making it likely that he/she won’t bully you in the future.
(Sometimes) It’s important to know how to be verbally and physically assertive without being aggressive. Show the bully that you’re confident helps asserting that the bullying does not “get to you”. Make eye contact and stand up straight provides physical evidence of your confidence.
Showing the bully that what he or she is doing is hurting you might just be enough fuel to keep the bullying going.
Threatening the bully might get you into a dangerous situation where you or someone else could get hurt. It could also get you into trouble at school, even if you are the one who is being bullied.
Telling someone, especially a teacher or parent, can help you in many ways. If you’re not sure how you should respond to the bully, they can help. Also, adults need to know who is bullying students so that they can stop them!
Story 1: “The Cool Girls’ Club” There is a secret “cool girl’s” club at Springfield MS. The presidents of the club are Eva and Cheyenne, and they decide who is allowed in the club. They take Lisa under their wing and invite her to join the club with them.
Eva and Cheyenne decide to have some fun by spreading nasty rumors about two girls that they don’t like, Lakisha, who is very popular, and Holly, who is new to the school.
Lisa doesn’t think it’s that cool to talk about Lakisha and Holly, but wants to stay in the club so also spreads rumors about the two girls. She even joins in when Eva and Cheyenne make fun of the girls or tease them behind their backs.
The teasing and rumors make Lakisha and Holly feel terrible. Holly starts going to the nurse’s office a lot complaining about headaches and nausea. Lakisha starts skipping school. Both girls might fail for the semester.
Lisa sees how sad Lakisha and Holly are at school and starts to feel bad for them. She mentions this Eva and Cheyenne, but they just laugh at her and tell her that maybe she isn’t cut out for the “cool club”. Lisa doesn’t want to risk losing her friends and so keeps being mean to Holly and Lakisha.
Questions for Thought Do the story and video show bullying? Who are the bullies? What do you think of the “cool girl’s club” and how the girls acted? How should girls like Holly, Lakisha and the girl in the video respond to situations like this? How do you feel about the story and video? If you were involved in these situations, what could you (or others) do?
Story 2: The New Kid Christian’s family just moved from Boston to Florida and he’s nervous about starting the seventh grade at a new school. He has always liked sports and so decides to try out for the football team as a way to fit in and make friends.
On Christian’s first day of school, Rodney, a big, loud eighth grader, began teasing and making fun of him because he talks differently and is smaller than most of the other seventh graders. Rodney told Christian that he’d get crushed if he tried to play football.
Christian tries not to let Rodney’s teasing bother him and tries out for the football team anyway. Rodney, who is on the team, continues to tease Christian, threatening to beat him up if he is on the team. Some of the other kids think this is funny and join in, taunting and threatening Christian as well.
Each day the taunting and teasing gets worse, at school and at football practice. Some of the boys start pushing, tripping, and shoving Christian and following him home after school. No one comes to his defense.
Christian starts to withdraw, skipping football practice and taking different routes home from school. He starts pretending he’s sick so he does not have to go to school and is thinking about quitting the football team.
Questions for Thought Do the story and video show bullying? Who are the bullies? What do you think of the way that Christian was treated? How should guys like Christian or the “person” threatened in the video respond? How do you feel about the story and video? If you were involved in these situations, what could you (or others) do?
Bringing it Together How did the boys and girls in the scenarios bully in different ways? Do boys and girls get bullied for different reasons and cope with bullying differently? If so, what are the differences? Is there a difference between how boys and girls bully in our school? Is bullying a problem at our school? What can we do to stop it?
References Anti Bully Commercial (words can be threatening) retrieved on December 14, 2007 from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od1iTWBl4Ko.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od1iTWBl4Ko Anti Bully Commercial (words can hurt) retrieved on December14, 2007 from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZWPrLpq49E. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZWPrLpq49E Lesson Plan adapted from: Newman, D. A., Horne, A. M. & Bartolomucci, C. L. (2000). Module 2: Recognizing the bully. In Bully Busters: A teacher’s manual for helping bullies, victims, and bystanders (pp. 47-76). Champaign, IL: Research Press. Newman, D. A., Horne, A. M. & Bartolomucci, C. L. (2000). Module 5: Assisting victims: Recommendations and interventions. In Bully Busters: A teacher’s manual for helping bullies, victims, and bystanders (pp. 131-154). Champaign, IL: Research Press.