1. SafetyFreedomEqualityJusticeOrderProgress

2. … where did they all go?

3. The Democrats dont know. Neither do the Republicans.

4. … theyve decayed with the growth of partisan politics and the medias influence on voters. The truth is…

5. So… anybody got a solution?

6. Well, we think we do, anyway.

7. We at the Progressive Green Party USA want change. We are people from all different backgrounds, trying to make our communities, our country, and our world a better place to live in.

8. HOLD IT! What kinds of things are you proposing?

9. Well, to start things off, well give you a brief on the party. (cue groans)

10. The first thing to know about the party is that its SMALL! Oops, thats small. We dont run candidates; instead, we support them by campaigning for them any way we can. We also support organizations and movements in this way.

11. The second thing is that we value free discussion and dialogue highly.

12. The third thing is that we stress honesty. If we cant succeed without telling a lot of lies, we DONT succeed. Period.

13. Now, for our main platform items: We are pro-life We are pro-environment We are pro-compassion We are pro-equality … and, as a general rule, we favor moderate positions.

14. WAIT! There are many other items on our current platform. (Notice we said current)

15. Our platform is open to constant debate and revisions. Anybody can suggest ideas, amendments, edits, etc.

16. Okay, so this looks interesting. But how do I suggest revisions and stuff? I dont even know where to find your platform.

17. Oops, we forgot to tell you about that. OOPS! Our entire party so far is located on our website at progressivegreenparty.wordpress.com. (The address will be displayed again at the end of the presentation for your convenience.)

18. So there you have it! A strapping young political party ready to take on the big guys. Be sure to visit us at our website! Thank you for your time! And remember…

19. Progressive Green is the Way to Sheen!

20. Okay, that was a little corny. How about…

21. Calling All Honest Progressives! Visit our website: progressivegreenparty.wordpress.com