1. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 Session 3 – Managing Staff and Difficult Behaviors Managing Change

2. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 How am I a difficult person? (self-assessment) When working with others: do you worry more about getting the job done or maintaining a good relationship with the group? If you could have only one outcome, which would it be? When dealing with others: do you tend to be more aggressive, offering your opinions first, or do you tend to be more passive, waiting to see what others have to say? Are you intent upon defining the situation to suit your needs or are you more likely to hang back and look for opportunities?

3. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 At your most annoying and obnoxious, would those who know you best say that your primary need is: to get things done? for attention and recognition? to get along? to get it right?

4. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 Seven assumptions about learning to deal with difficult people There is no simple, foolproof way to deal with difficulty people; human beings are more complex than all the theories of human development. Learning to deal with difficult people is an opportunity to learn about ourselves. The only person I can change is myself; by changing my behavior, I can change how others deal with me. Labeling a behavior as difficult helps us identify and choose strategies; it is not useful for building a long- term relationship.

5. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 Seven assumptions about learning to deal with difficult people Behaviors of difficult people can indicate personality strengths. Although conflict is not acceptable in some cultures, change cannot occur without some conflict. Difficult people are identified as such because they block us from what we want. Newton, A. (1994). Mentoring: A resource and training guide for educators. Andover, MA: The Regional Laboratory for Educational Improvement.

6. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 Questions to ask yourself when dealing with a difficult person What is it worth to me to get involved? Am I clear about my goal? How is this an opportunity for me? How flexible am I willing to be? Whats really going on here? Do I think I can make progress here? Am I prepared for setbacks? Others? Newton, A. (1994). Mentoring: A resource and training guide for educators. Andover, MA: The Regional Laboratory for Educational Improvement.

7. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 Five Steps for Getting Past NO 1. Dont react Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce 2. Disarm Them One must know how to sail with a contrary wind and to tack until one meets a wind in the right direction. Fortune DeFelice 3. Dont Reject... Reframe Craft against vice I will apply. William Shakespeare 4. Build Them a Golden Bridge Build your adversary a golden bridge to retreat across. Sun Tau 5. Make it Hard to Say No The best general is the one who never fights. Sun Tau Ury, William (1991) Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People. Bantam Books

8. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 Vision+Skill+Incentive+Resources+Action Plan=Change +Skill+Incentive+Resources+Action Plan=Confusion Vision++Incentive+Resources+Action Plan=Anxiety Vision+Skill++Resources+Action Plan=Resistance Vision+Skill+Incentive++Action Plan=Frustration Vision+Skill+Incentive+Resources+=Treadmill The Change Equation Adopted from Dyer, Timothy J. (1996) Breaking Ranks: Changing an American Institution: A Report of the National Association of Secondary School Principals on the High School of the 21st Century. NASSP.

9. © International Baccalaureate Organization 2011 Please divide a blank sheet of paper into four sections. Using the lables in the sample below provide the presenters with your formative feedback. Thoughts / IdeasConcerns FeelingsQuestions Four square evaluation