1. WHAT I WISH I KNEW WHEN BEGINNING A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY DISCOVERING THE KEYS THAT UNLOCK THE ANSWERS! Dennis Franck Director, Single Adult Ministries Assemblies of God

2. TYPES OF SINGLE ADULTS… WHO WILL ATTEND NEVER MARRIED-mostly ages 18-35 FORMERLY MARRIED-all ages 20-65 WIDOWED-all ages 25-65 SINGLE PARENT-mostly ages 20-50 SEPARATED-all ages 20-65 (legally married but living a single life)

3. VAST AGE SPAN-19-65 yrs Varied interests… Varied physical abilities… Varied preferences… Varied opinions…

4. COMMON NEEDS/INTERESTS OF MARRIED & SINGLE ADULTS SALVATION BAPTISM DISCIPLESHIP OBEDIENCE PRAYER LIFE COMMITMENT BIBLE TEACHING SPIRITUAL GROWTH

5. COMMON INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTS (all ages) Spiritual Growth Singleness issues Friendships with same and opposite sex Money management Understanding Sexuality Developing Identity Stress management Coping with changes Setting goals Career issues Self esteem Dating Pre-marital education Understanding emotions Learning to risk Acceptance Guilt Loneliness Financial issues

6. UNIQUE INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTS Rearing kids alone Shared parenting Relating to ex spouse Time away from kids Extra financial issues Learning to forgive Learning to trust Dating/dating again Divorce Recovery Grief Recovery Learning to risk Fitting in Finding my new role Depression Managing anger Blending families Relating to married adults as a single

7. ASK THESE QUESTIONS! Who are we trying to reach? Why are we trying to reach them? What are the demographics of our church? What are the demographics of our community?

8. ASK THESE QUESTIONS! What resources do we have now? (People-Facilities-Money-Materials etc.) What resources do we need to get? Who else is doing what we want to do? Same denomination Other denominations/independent

9. DESIGN MINISTRY BY AGE AND/OR NEED GROUPS BY AGE… 18-25-College age 20s & 30s (24-37 Gen X) 30+Single/single- again (35+ if have 20s & 30s) 55+ Mature Single BY NEED…. Single Parents & children -Pre-school -Elementary -Jr/Sr High Divorce Care & children -Age groups Widowed

10. MINISTRY GROUP MODELS DESIGN YOUR MINISTRY BY YOUR PURPOSE/MISSION… OUTREACH DISCIPLESHIP SOCIAL DISCUSSION EDUCATION COMBINATION

11. OUTREACH Topical teaching on personal issues Discussion opportunities-small & large group Informal seating-tables and chairs best Extended fellowship time (15-30 minutes) Light, short praise and worship Refreshments provided-helpful to fellowship Many people involved in the meeting Prayer-short times of-few involved Attracts mature, immature Christians and unbelievers Attracts many visitors Functions well in neutral, non-threatening settings Frequency-weekly to monthly

12. DISCIPLESHIP Bible-study oriented-Bible books & spiritual topics Discussion-small and large group Praise & worship-heavy, maybe extended Prayer-various types & much time for Group interaction with teacher during teaching Short fellowship time Attracts strong & maturing Christians Does not attract many visitors or unbelievers Refreshments-May be provided, but not necessary Location-church, home or other Frequency-weekly to monthly

13. SOCIAL Many types of social/recreational events Attracts unbelievers, immature & mature Christians Attracts visitors Teaching-rare, devotional type if ever Prayer-minimal if ever Praise & worship-rare if ever Discussion-rare, if ever Location-various settings and types of Frequency-weekly to monthly Consider cost Consider target age Refreshments-usual and often

14. EDUCATIONAL Praise & worship-light & brief if any Teaching-concentrated for a period of time –Half day to day-and-a-half -3-8 week series Personal and spiritual topics Discussion-large & small groups Prayer-short and brief, one to several involved Visitors-attracted to this Attracts immature and mature Christians Location-church rooms and neutral locations Frequency-2-4 months Refreshments-helpful for fellowship

15. DISCUSSION Praise & worship-rare and brief Teaching-rare, brief and topical Discussion-regular, small group-possible large group wrap up Visitors-attracted to and frequent Prayer-short & brief Attracts immature and mature Christians Location-church rooms and neutral settings Frequency-weekly to monthly Refreshments-helpful for fellowship

16. COMBINATION PLAN A TOTAL MINISTRY… BUILD IT IN STAGES… WAIT TILL YOU HAVE LEADERSHIP WAIT TILL YOU HAVE RESOURCES –Vision –Room (s) –Finances –Resources –Materials

17. ON GROUNDS BENENFITS 1 ) More people exposed to your church 2) Less storage problems 3) Less set up, clean up and transporting of tables, chairs, props, materials etc. 4) More access to tables, chairs, props etc. 5) Less time finding a meeting room

18. ON GROUNDS BENEFITS 6) Less risk of losing the meeting room 7) No cost 8) Fewer requests to announce other churches' events 9) More exposure of the ministry to your church

19. OFF GROUNDS BENEFITS 1) More community exposure 2) Attracts more unbelievers due to neutral setting 3) Attracts more believers who do not have a singles ministry at their church 4) Attracts more children of single parents to transport to your church for Sunday School Easier to build a city-wide influence and image

20. OFF GROUNDS BENEFITS 6) Easier to build relationships with other pastors 7) Less denominational hang ups in peoples' minds due to the neutral setting 8) More flexibility with schedule Any size church could sponsor the ministry Easier for several churches to sponsor together

21. POTENTIAL LABELS ROM. 14:16-DO NOT ALLOW WHAT YOU CONSIDER GOOD TO BE SPOKEN OF AS EVIL….DONT CRITICIZE THAT WHICH IS JUSTIFIABLE LONELY HEARTS CLUB………LONERS DATING MARKET………………LOVERS HOSPITAL………….……………..LOSERS CHURCH………………….……….LEAVERS PLACE OF/FOR MINISTRY...…..LIVERS

22. HEALING AND WHOLENESS -Spiritual-emotional-relational-physical EMERGENCY ROOM - Sometimes people need help right now MOBILITY AND TRANSIENCY REASONS FOR: 50 % TURNOVER EVERY 6-12 MONTHS!… NUMBERS GAME -move -no one interests them -unfriendliness -marry -conviction -offended -break up -wrong ages -involved in other -too spiritual -not ok with singleness area of church -not spiritual -biases toward others -philosophy diff. -DONT WORRY ABOUT IT! WORK AT CLOSING THE BACK DOOR! -MINISTER TO PEOPLE WHILE THEY ARE THERE!

23. OPENNESS AND HONESTY OPENNESS & HONESTY -Single adults tell it like it is -Frank, bold, honest teaching needed on relevant issues COUNSELING -Spiritual, relational, emotional, psychological -Refer to qualified individuals when necessary -Establish relationships with Christian counselors

24. HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS NEED FOR FRIENDSHIPS -Probably the biggest need -Provide varied/many opportunities for -Wholeness comes through healthy friendships TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE -Lifter-spiritually/emotionally strong -Leaner- weak

25. ENTRANCES/EXITS OF PEOPLE OPEN DOOR -Everyone is accepted… -Regardless of spiritual, social, mental, physical situations REVOLVING DOOR -Everyone leaves… -Immediately-later-eventually SLIDING DOOR -Help mainstream single adults into church -Allow them to leave to minister

26. INTEGRATION IS THE GOAL! IT IS THE GOAL FOR MOST PEOPLE TO: –EVENTUALLY LEAVE THE MINISTRY –MAINSTREAM INTO THE CHURCH –TAKE CHURCH LEADERSHIP POSITIONS –MIX WITH OTHER TYPES OF PEOPLE –BECOME COMFORTABLE IN THE TOTAL LIFE OF THE CHURCH

27. OBTAINING SR PASTOR SUPPORT Meet with him-regularly to inform him Give him materials Ask for help-budget, promotion, speaking Feature the pastor at a major event Interview board members at a meeting/class Send mailings to them Talk to them at church

28. PLAN INTENTIONALLY LOCATION-on or off the church grounds-possible pros & cons FORMAT-components of the meeting, scheduling of time for each SEATING-formal or informal, use of tables and chairs TEACHING-style, topics, discussion opportunities, question & answer etc. REFRESHMENTS-simple, inexpensive

29. CORRECT THE MISCONCEPTIONS Purposes of the ministry-Where are they stated? How often? Are they known? Image of the ministry and single adults Loners-Singles are usually lonely… Losers-Singles are usually hurting and needy… Lovers-Singles are usually looking for someone… Leavers-Singles are usually uncommitted… Livers-Singles can be effective ministers! (Jesus was single)

30. PROVIDE BALANCED TEACHING TWO TYPES OF TEACHING NEEDED: –PERSONAL TOPICS- Relationships, Self Esteem, Sexuality, Career choice, Pre-marital issues, Divorce care, Single parenting etc. –SPIRITUAL TOPICS-Salvation, Faith, Commitment, Prayer, Discipline, Growth, etc.

31. PROVIDE BALANCED OPPORTUNITIES Spiritual Opportunities… Relational Opportunities… Educational Opportunities… Social Opportunities…

32. BUDGET & FINANCES ANY MINISTRY WORTH HAVING IS WORTH FUNDING ! –Educate the Sr. Pastor/Board –Realize single adults will give to the cause – Being part of the church budget is best! –Take and keep offerings towards ministry costs

33. PROMOTION Promote INSIDE the church Flyers, bulletins, dramas, posters, videos, emails, visits to adult classes, other groups etc. Promote OUTSIDE the church Website, posters, business cards, newspaper ads, radio public service announcements, brochures in counseling/shopping centers, laundry mats etc.

34. UNDERSTAND COUNSELING NEEDS TYPES NEEDED: –SPIRITUAL ISSUES –RELATIONAL ISSUES –PERSONAL ISSUES –PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES PROVIDE AND/OR REFER TO OTHER COUNSELORS

35. NO VISITORS COMING? LEADERSHIP SHOULD EVALUATE… –Current promotion –Friendliness of the group –Format of the meeting –Time, location of meeting –Image of the group –Teaching topics, style etc –Opportunities for discussion –Opportunities for fellowship

36. PLAN LOCAL OUTREACHES Group can easily become inward-focused Outreach helps single adults look outside of themselves Outreach will give individuals a bigger perspective Outreach will give individuals a better perspective Outreach will give your ministry credibility

37. LOOK FOR A LEADER The buck needs to stop somewhere! Appoint a leader to… Provide a vision Lead the leadership team Make decisions Make relationships with leaders a priority Make the sacrifices Spend time in prayer Set an example for the leadership team

38. BUILDING LEADERSHIP-ASK… What responsibilities could/should we delegate? Who has leadership potential? (Desires-Skills-Experience-Vision-Good Attitude) When can I meet with them?

39. BEGINNING A MINISTRY… PRIMARY LEADERSHIP NEEDED Hospitality Follow-up Music Discussion leaders Snacks/Food Activities Emcee Teacher

40. MALES VS. FEMALES Generally, the older the group, the more important and difficult it is to find male leadership. ISSUES: –Attracting both genders –Retaining both genders –Egos of men –Perceived authority-men vs. women –Use men in front as much as possible –Organizational ability-men vs. women

41. MARRIED VS. SINGLE Generally… –The younger the age group, the more accepting people are of married couples in leadership. –The older the age group, the more accepting people are of remarried couples in leadership.

42. MARRIED VS. SINGLE Leadership should be predominantly single adults. –Experience –Flexibility of time –Understanding of issues –Respect of peers –Example of life, growth, maturity

43. PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP OWNERSHIP -They must own the ministry! -People will support what they help to create! -You dont need to make all the decisions! RESPONSIBILITY -Organize the ministry -Give people responsibilities -Trust them with these

44. PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP AUTHORITY -Give it --Responsibility without authority is PUPPETRY -Accept it --Receive it humbly -Use it --Dont run to your authority for every decision -Respect it --Learn your boundaries ACCOUNTABILITY -Dont be afraid of it -Everyone needs to be accountable to someone -A system of checks and balances

45. NETWORK WITH OTHER LEADERS! YOU CAN LEARN FROM OTHERS! LOOK FOR OTHER GROUPS/LEADERS YOUR PEOPLE WANT TO MEET OTHER PEOPLE! YOUR GROUP NEEDS A LARGER VISION!