1. Interpersonal Relationships Communicating and Relating Effectively
CHAPTER 11
Pages 355 – 386
Interpersonal Relationships
Communicating and Relating Effectively
to Others
Michael Turino, 2008

2. Is it really this bad? Perhaps John Gray is right… “Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus.”

3. Learning Goals
The primary goal of this chapter is to help you develop effective interpersonal communication skills that will enable you to overcome shyness, form friendships and intimate relationships, resolve interpersonal conflicts, and realize your leadership potential.

4. Chapter Outline The Importance of Interpersonal Relationships
Developing Effective Interpersonal Skills
Overcoming Shyness
Dating and Romantic Relationships
Interpersonal Conflicts
Developing Leadership Skills
Summary and Conclusion

5. The Importance of Interpersonal Relationships
Page 356
Interpersonal Intelligence - the ability to relate effectively to others is considered one major form of human intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence - includes interpersonal awareness and empathy and has been found to be more important for personal and professional success than intellectual ability.

6. Developing Effective Interpersonal Skills
Page
Communication and Conversation Skills
Be a good listener
Nonverbal messages (Acronym: SOFTEN)
Be open to topics
Communicate ideas precisely and concisely
Think before speaking
Human Relation Skills (“People Skills”)
Remember names
Refer to people by name when interacting
Remember information about people
Be positive
Be complimentary

7. Human Relation Skills, continued…
Be reliable and dependable
Be a sharing person
Be a caring person
Be a helping person
Treat people with respect
In person versus online
Situate and locate yourself to meet others
Join a fraternity or sorority
Attend parties
Facebook and MySpace

8. Overcoming Shyness Strategies: Block out negative thoughts
Page
Strategies:
Be aware of specific situations
Block out negative thoughts
Observe others
Practice relaxing in situations
Practice skills of effective interpersonal communication
Enroll in small classes
Gain a wide knowledge base

9. Dating and Romantic Relationships
Page
Approaches to Dating:
Postponing dating
Hooking up
Casual dating
Exclusive dating
Courtship

10. Dating and Romantic Relationships
Page
Romantic Love:
Passionate love (infatuation)
Mature love
Five characteristics of successful, long-lasting romantic relationships:
Compatibility
Caring
Commitment
Compromise
Constructive Disagreement

11. Interpersonal Conflicts
Page
Minimizing and Resolving Conflicts:
The right time and place
Decompress emotionally
Allow adequate response time
Do not dismiss or discount others
Time out or cease fire
Make points assertively
Focus on specific behavior (use “I” messages)

12. Interpersonal Conflicts, continued
Page
Minimizing and Resolving Conflicts:
Avoid criticizing
Focus on problem solving, not winning
End discussions on a constructive note
Express appreciation
Refer to a higher authority

13. Developing Leadership Skills
Page
Truths and Myths about Effective Leadership:
It is not a single personality trait
It is a specific behavior
Leadership may be situational
Effective leaders are not necessarily extroverted,
bold, and aggressive
Leadership comes in different styles
A common trait is self-knowledge

14. Developing Leadership Skills
Page
Leadership Situations and Roles:
Academic
Social/Emotional
Organizational
Strategies for Developing Leadership Skills
Learn about your organization or institution
Learn how to effectively communicate with and relate
to others

15. Summary and Conclusion
As quoted on page 384
“Communicating and relating effectively with others is an important life skill and one of the most important forms of human intelligence.”
“We need to relate to others in a way that acknowledges their humanity and individuality, and preserves or promotes their self-esteem. We should strive to bring out the best in others by being helpful friends, positive role models, and effective leaders.”

16. Website Resources

17. I said, “Go to the next page for exercises.”

18. Class Activity 1. All females please move to one side of the room.
2. After they’ve moved, all males move to the opposite side of the room.
3. After you are in your groups, complete the exercise on the next tile.

19. 1. Do you find the cartoon offensive in any way?
2. Do you think there is anything included in the cartoon that you think is clearly
inaccurate or a complete myth?
3. What aspects of the cartoon do you think may be generally accurate or true
(if any)?
Discuss and respond to the following questions about the cartoon above. After minutes, come together as a class for group processing and discussion.

20. Group Discussion Questions for Chapter 11
1. When someone forgets your name, how does it make you feel? Are you affected or offended in any way?
2. If you see someone whom you met before, but forget the person’s name, do you think it’s better to ask for the name again or not admit that you’ve forgotten?
3. In this class, do you feel comfortable disagreeing with others’ opinions?
4. If you’re having a conversation with someone whom you’re not romantically involved with, is it ever appropriate to touch that person? (If so: Under what circumstances and in what way?)
5. If you’re being treated badly in a relationship and you don’t express your dissatisfaction to the other person, would you say you’re equally responsible for the mistreatment?
6. If you were to assume leadership for improving the first-year experience for students on campus, what would you attempt to change? What specific leadership steps would you take to increase the likelihood that these changes would actually take place?   
7. Do you generally agree or disagree with the following statement made by a college sophomore: “I think males and females process information, events, and emotions differently. For example, males typically would rather “cool off” and have some alone time after an argument. Conversely, females typically need to talk it out.”