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Parenting the Online Child

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1 Parenting the Online Child
we know you have concerns about your child's use of the Internet. We are concerned too. We've put these pages together to help you and your child reach a comfortable agreement about proper use of the wonderful vast resource now av Before I start with all the things that could happen to you and your child while online, I want you to understand that I am not against a youth going online. The world of knowledge is at your child’s fingertips. There are several website for children to have fun in and to learn from, but we as parents need to insure that we make the internet safe; giving our children the ability to expand his knowledge in the open world of the internet. They have access to the internet in school; the internet is a large learning tool for your child. Don’t band your child from this tool because of what he might fall into. If you follow the tools given to you through this document, then you have prepared your child the best that you can. You as a parent need to understand that you will not be able to completely keep material that is not suitable from entering your computer.

2 Your Child Is on the Internet But the Internet isn’t all good
The Internet is a wonderful research tool. Reliance on the Internet in schools has grown rapidly - so even if you don't have a computer in the home, chances are very good that your child is online at schools (and very likely at friend's houses as well). But the Internet isn’t all good There is, however, a downside to the Internet. Dropping your children off on-line is as ill advised as dropping him off in a mall unsupervised. There are predators online who would take advantage of your child's innocence and trust. There is a great deal of easily accessed pornography. There are bullies who would harass your child. There are hate-sites, pro-drug sites, and sites that promote any activity you can think of that you would protect your child from. Online, your child has dozens of encyclopaedias at his fingertips, he can call on experts in almost any field for information, he can play, keep in touch with friends, meet new people, and explore ideas and world-views we never dreamed of when we were young. Just as you don't give your child carte-blanche in a video store or in a theatre, and just as you monitor what types of books or magazines he is permitted to read - so should you approach the Internet issue in your home. To take advantage of the Internet without being taken advantage of our children need two things from us: information and supervision. Through this website, and your conversations with your child, you can educate your child as to permissible behavior when online. We offer tips that you can go over with your child, as well as an Internet Usage agreement for him to sign. For you, we offer tips for supervising your child, classes about issues that concern us all, a list of problem-signs to watch out for, and an Internet Supervision Agreement for you to sign. By working together as a family, you can get the best of what the Internet offers without risking your child's innocence, safety, or your peace of mind.

3 What Are They Doing Online?
Surfing Chatting ing Instant Messaging File Sharing Learning Publishing Networking Shopping Gaming Surfing Reading documents and visiting websites online is commonly referred to as “surfing” or “browsing.” Visiting virtual museums, accessing public government documents, reading complete books and viewing short films are just a few examples of the many ways in which you can use the Internet. Chatting “Chatting” online has become a favorite way for people to connect online in a group (a chat room) to share similar interests. Chatting is like talking, except that you type words rather than speak them. Typically, more than one "conversation" goes on simultaneously at a given time or chat room. There are two types of chat rooms—moderated and un-moderated. A chat room moderator enforces rules about what is acceptable to discuss in a given chat space. We recommend children be allowed to visit only moderated chat rooms that have been approved by you. ing is one of the most commonly used features of computers with Internet connections. can be used effectively in a variety of ways by children—to write to family members and friends, communicate with teachers, even contact famous people and experts in various fields. IM’ing An instant message (“IM”) allows two or more people to talk by typing back and forth in real time. IM programs usually appear on screen as boxes of some kind, a split screen, or small screen where the typed messages are passed back and forth. Some of these programs allow you to see what the person is writing as they are writing it. They are usually free, easy to download, and fairly simple to operate. Many IM programs also allow you to transfer files such as photos or music files (eg, mp3 files). File Sharing File sharing is another activity for many teens. File sharing is accomplished through easily obtainable programs that allow users to connect directly to other computers and copy (share) music files, movies, and other programs or files. This use of the Internet is a security risk because the files can be infected, and also may violate copyright protections. Learning Children are no longer restricted to playgrounds Publishing Children are no longer restricted to playgrounds, sports teams or malls to meet new people. The world around them has become digital and VERY accessible. Students can set up a free web pages and online photo albums within minutes. Blogs (short for web logs) are like online journals and allow people to share their most intimate thoughts with a worldwide audience. Networking Many children have discovered that MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, and many other social networking sites are a great way to communicate with friends all over the globe. They are able to post messages, photos, and list all their favorite things about themselves. What children do not always understand is how public this information really is. As parents, the best way to keep your children safe is to remind them that having an online “personality” places them at potential risk. Information posted online means exposure to the entire world. Shopping Gaming Gaming is another option for young people—and gaming online can be very exciting. The thrill of competition, the ease of access to new games and excellent graphic effects make this activity fun for kids. But because of the ability to also chat with other players, safety issues should be discussed in the same manner as chat and IM concerns.

4 Risk Factors Inappropriate Material Damage to Computer & Files
Loss of Privacy Personal Safety of Family Harassment and Bullying Legal and Financial Unethical Behaviour An insufficiently protected computer is at risk for damage by virus, Trojan or worms.

5 Hate Sites Unmonitored computers allow your child access to material that is inappropriate for them. While adult material is legal, it certainly is not appropriate for children. The Crimes Against Children Research Center reports that 25% of online children were exposed nudity or sexual images in the past year. Other websites may be classified as hate sites or drug culture oriented, while yet others promote unhealthy behavior or behavior that is not appropriate for children – gambling, anorexia clubs etc. Sites that encourage violence toward specific people or groups

6 Rape, Bombs, Guns, Suicide
Some websites promote unhealthy behavior or behavior that is not appropriate for children – suicide, gambling, anorexia clubs etc. Some websites promote unhealthy behavior or behavior that is not appropriate for children – suicide, gambling, anorexia clubs etc.

7 Pornography According to the U.S. Attorney General, pornography is third to drugs and gambling as the biggest moneymaker for organized crime. The Crimes Against Children Research Center reports that 25% of online children were exposed nudity or sexual images in the past year.

8 What Parental Control Programs Can Do
These programs have a variety of features, depending on which program you choose, that will capture screen shots, record sites visited, even log chat room conversations, and capture every keystroke made by your child. Some have the additional capability to specifically allow or disallow certain activities and sites (filtering and blocking). There is even, in some programs, the capacity to schedule times when each member is allowed access to the Internet and will grant access at a scheduled time and shut them out at the scheduled end of the session. The downside Some parents depend on these utilities, but you need to be aware of their limitations when evaluating a solution that is right for their family. A few things to keep in mind: Users with a minimal amount of Internet experience can search for tools and or instructions to deactivate or circumvent the tools you install. Most filtering programs filter based on context and keywords, but legitimate sites are still sometimes blocked, and objectionable sites do get through. Lack of flexibility- younger children need more protection than older children, but not all programs give you the flexibility to handle both.

9 Damage to Computer & Files
Unprotected computers can harbor Trojans, viruses and worms. - small programs written to cause harm to one or more computers or networks. These sneaky little programs can enlist, without your knowledge, your computer in a DOS attack on websites – wreaking havoc and cause loss of revenue to individuals and companies. interfering with your computer's ability to process information by consuming memory or bandwidth (causing your computer to become significantly slower or even "freeze")

10 What are computer viruses, Trojans and worms?
Simply stated, a virus, Trojan or worm is a small program written to cause harm to one or more computers or networks. A Virus, Worm or Trojan can also be designed to retrieve information from your computer to be delivered to an attacker for future use. For example, credit card information, passwords, and security access codes. A virus is a parasitic program designed to enter a person's computer clandestinely. The virus attaches itself to files or boot sectors and is self-replicating. Parasitic means that it lives on YOUR computer, and self-replicating means that it makes copies of itself and sends them to other people (usually using the address book in your program) A Trojan (or Trojan horse) is a malicious program that pretends to be a benign application. It is designed to cause your computer to do something that is unexpected. Since it does not spread (not self-replicating) it is not really a virus. Malicious means that it has bad intentions. Trojans on your computer can mean that it allows people to control your computer from other computers (they can store bad files there or use it to attack other computers or websites) A worm is a parasitic program designed to replicate itself on your computer and then spread to other computers via (through your address book or contact list). Sometimes you get an from a trusted friend with a strange attachment – do not open it! It may be a worm. What types of files are most likely to be infected? Programs of the following types are the most likely to be infected with a virus. New viruses are developed daily, so this list is not, nor can it be all-inclusive. installing, altering, or deleting files on your computer giving the attacker access to your computer using your computer to attack other computers exe com vbs Mp3 macros drv sys bin script files

11 Loss of Privacy people can cause serious problems by harrassing or stalking you - using your personal information to find you offline. There are even people who will use the information to blackmail or force you into doing things you aren't happy about doing. Your online activities (such as posting in newsgroups or signing up for services,) allow marketers to capture information about you from the websites you visit, and many of them are handing out your data to strangers. Lost privacy cannot be recovered, and the information we share can be used against us.

12 Protecting Your Privacy
Nicknames and Profiles Never use personally identifying information when choosing an address or profile name: your name, sex, age or birth year, or your location. Instead, choose a "profile name" based on a hobby or other non-identifiable characteristic. Smart Passwords Change your password frequently. Create passwords as combination of special characters, numerals and letters. Do not use words in dictionary or personal details as part of your password since these are easier to crack. Always Log Out If you are using a public computer and a web-based mail, always be sure to log out of your account. Just directing the browser to a new page doesn't log you out, and leaves your account accessible to anyone else who sits down at that computer. Read the Fine Print Always read the privacy policy of a website before you type information into a form or share it with the company. If they don't have a privacy policy listed, don't share your information! Treat Like Postcards Never personal or financial information, assume that it can be read by third parties. Free isn't always Free Be very cautious when downloading "free" programs online. These programs can include spyware, malware or viruses that jeopardize your personal information. Check for the Lock When submitting personal information online, always check the URL for https and a lock icon in the bottom right corner of your browser. Know Who You Are Dealing With Only do business with creditable companies. Keep Up-to-date Be sure that your anti-virus program is always up-to-date. Download and install patches (updates) for your operating system, firewall, browser, client etc. - Sharing personal information can be a dangerous proposition. Some unsavory sorts will collect and use personal information to steal money from you or your family. Other people can cause serious problems by harrassing or stalking you - using your personal information to find you offline. There are even people who will use the information to blackmail or force you into doing things you aren't happy about doing.

13 Cookies Cookies are small files that "remember" information you type, pages you visit, ads you click on, and many other things! Some advertising companies have cookies built into their advertisements, and can build up a lot of informtation about you just by keeping track of your surfing. Remember to think like a detective? It's possible for a series of cookies to tell a lot about you - like the fact that you visit a lot of game sites, that you did a survey and told a website that you were a 12 year old male, the ISP that you use (which can tell where you live). Every browser has a way for you to deal with your cookies - you can decide which cookies you will allow on your computer, and delete the ones that you don't want. There are also many programs available that can help you "crunch" the cookie monster. Cookies are simple text files that contain information about a user who has visited a Web server. Cookies may keep track of your preferences in shopping, surfing, and even remember information that you enter into forms online. While they are sometimes helpful (it is nice that knows what types of books I like, and recommends interesting choices for me), sometimes they collect too much information. Luckily our browser can help us to decide which information we want to share, and help us delete cookies that store information we don’t want to share!

14 Personal Safety Unprotected computers leave you and your child at the mercy of predators. According to the Crimes Against Children Research Center, 19% of youth surveyed received at least one sexual solicitation in the past year online, and 3% reported aggressive solicitation. The FBI reports that every day at least one adult crosses state lines to meet with a child that they have developed a relationship with online. WHOA (Working to Halt Online Abuse) 10% of Internet users have been stalked, and in 19% of those cases the stalking moved offline and into the victim’s real life.

15 About Online Predators
The most serious danger for children online is the risk of becoming a victim of a sexual predator. Unsupervised children may find their way into chat rooms or forums, which are proven venues pedophiles use to lure victims. The most important thing you can do Communicate with your child: some children will put a stop to the relationship before it gets too dangerous. If your child has been approached by a predator, and even allowed some behaviors to go on that they knew were wrong, you want him to trust in you enough so that he/she can come to you and say "I made a mistake, and I'm frightened". It is important that we, as parents, make sure that our children understand that our love and care are not limited, and that they can come to us at any time, with any problem - and we will take care of them. No parent wants to hear that their child sent a nude picture of themselves to a stranger, or that they had Cybersex, but if we understand that they were victimized, we can help the child turn the situation around. Our children should not be blackmailed into doing further acts because they were afraid to tell us about what has already happened. If you suspect your child has been approached online by a predator Save any and all computer and/or phone communications, and report it to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children's CyberTipline at Contact your local police department if you suspect your child is in immediate danger. Only approximately 25% of children who encountered a sexual approach or solicitation told a parent or adult.

16 Cyberbullying The feeling of anonymity on the web makes it a perfect playground for students to engage in cruel behavior. A study from the National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC) says that 43 percent of teens reported being victims of cyberbullying in the past year.

17 What is Cyberbullying? Cyberbullying can consist of spreading lies and rumors about a person, insulting and targeting a student's sexuality, physical appearance, deceiving students into revealing personal information and then publishing it, and/or posting personally identifiable information or photos without the victim's consent. Technology used may include cell phones, Instant Message programs, chat rooms, , websites, polls, blogs etc. What you and your child should do: Tell the person harassing you in straight forward terms, "Leave me alone, stop harassing me. Do not contact me again.“ • Do not reply to anything else the harasser says. No replies to s, taunts or lies said about you. • Log all chats and IMs and save a copy as evidence. Save all s and text messages as well as voic s or voice messages. Take screen shots as well. Print all evidence, but keep the files on your hard drive. • In the case of harassment you need to contact the harasser's ISP (Internet Service Provider) and make a complaint. If an offending website has been posted about you, contact the web hosting service. If there are posts on a forum or bulletin board, contact the moderators. All phone interactions should be reported to the phone company. • If the harassment is coming from other students at the school, contact your school's administration to see what action they would be willing to take. • Keep in mind that some types of bullying (threats to your child, or exposing them to danger) may be illegal. Report it to local law enforcement along with copies of the materials that you have collected. 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.

18 Legal and Financial The owner of an insecure computer is at risk for Identity Theft, Stalking/Harrassment, and legal action for crimes perpetrated by hackers.

19 Identity Theft Identity theft, or identity fraud, refers to all types of crimes in which someone wrongfully obtains and uses the personal information of another in such a way that involves fraud or deception, usually for financial gain. Identity Theft is one of the fastest growing crimes in America and other countries around the world. Your personal data such as your social security number, your bank account or credit card number, telephone calling card number, and other valuable identifying data, including your date of birth, can be used by the wrong persons to personally profit at your expense. Using such information, unauthorized persons can not only wreak havoc with an individual's personal finances but can even take over their identity altogether amassing enormous debts and even committing criminal acts in the name of their victims. The effect on victim's lives can be devastating both financially and emotionally and can take years to recover. Identity theft is on the rise, affecting almost 10 million victims in 2008 (a 22% increase from 2007) It can take up to 5,840 hours (the equivalent of working a full-time job for two years) to correct the damage from ID theft, depending on the severity of the case (ITRC Aftermath Study, 2004).

20 Identity Theft

21 Phishing Don't Be Lured By "phishing"! "Phishing" is the use of s or pop-up boxes that contain links to sites that ask you to enter or confirm information, such as personal information, financial information, passwords, or other sensitive information. How do you recognize "phishing"? First and foremost, never click on links in s or pop up boxes that ask you to verify or update personal information. Legitimate businesses do not ask for this information through links and pop-up boxes. Type the name of the link to businesses you deal with online yourself or add the links to your Favorites.

22 Financial Repercussions
Security Risks There is a very real security risk to every user who chooses to use P2P (peer-to-peer) file-sharing software. P2P software leaves your computer open to other users, and the files you download could be infected with trojans, worms or viruses, potentially leaving your computer vulnerable to attack or misuse. Legal Implications Individuals who share personal copies of films, television or music files on the Internet are at risk for lawsuits.

23 Copyright Infringement
© 2009 Plagiarism Careless Forwarding Make sure your kids know that buying, downloading, and copy/pasting papers is plagiarism, and can get them into serious trouble at school. Many schools have strict discipline policies for plagiarism. A hoax is a falsehood intended to deceive others and, in some cases cause harm to others in some way; it is one of the simplest and most common forms of fraud.  Although hoaxes have been in existence throughout history, modern communication makes it very easy to propagate hoaxes quickly.  While many hoaxes are innocent or harmless, they often mask malicious instructions, a virus, or a phishing scam.  Even if they do not have a malicious purpose, chain s spread untrue information and waste time and inbox space for those who receive them.

24 Lack of Netiquette Flaming
In addition to teaching children about possible risks, it is important to teach them proper etiquette for the Internet. Predators prey on new, inexperienced kids online. The more your child displays “cybersmarts” the less likely they are to be a target of a predator.

25 Netiquette People often behave rather outrageously online - in ways they would never dare in the real offline world. An ordinarily mild mannered person can go online and suddenly begin flaming everyone they come into contact with or behaving in a threatening way because they perceive themselves to be anonymous when online. It is important to understand that you are neither untraceable, nor unaccountable for your actions online. Keep it Short Few people enjoy reading lengthy communications on a screen. Keep your messages short and to the point. Don't Use All Caps Avoid using all capital letters in , chat or IM. It conveys shouting and is difficult to read. Blind Copy Use the BC function of your client when sending to more than one person Respect Other's Time and Storage Capacity Do not send large attachments without asking permission. Exercise restraint when choosing signature files. Subject Lines In , make sure the subject lines corresponds with your message. Learn the Lingo If you are using IM or chat programs, it helps to know the language. Learn about acronyms and emoticons. Double-Check Before Forwarding Because most people online receive a great deal of information, it is important to check the validity of information before forwarding it to others. Urban myths, false alarms, and bogus prizes annoy readers. Verify information at before sharing with all of your contacts. Net etiquette (also known as cyber etiquette) is a standard or code of conduct designed to enhance your Internet experience and generally smooth the path through cyberspace.

26 Minimizing Risk In Your Home
Protect Your Computer Select filtering and blocking software Teach children basic Internet skills Post Internet Safety Rules & Agreement Learn to monitor use of the Internet Talk with your child An insufficiently protected computer is at risk for damage by virus, Trojan or worms. The owner of an insecure computer is at risk for Identity Theft, Stalking/Harrassment, and legal action for crimes perpetrated by hackers. Understanding and implementing basic security and privacy measures can go a long way towards protecting your family, your finances, and your computer.

27 See handouts for specifics!
Protect Your Computer 1. Firewall 2. Anti-virus 3. Updates 4. Anti-Spyware Protect your computer Install and regularly update an anti-virus program, anti-spyware program and a firewall. Update regularly! United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team: See handouts for specifics!

28 Firewalls What is a Firewall?
What is a Firewall? A firewall is a system designed to prevent unauthorized access to your computer or network (a network is a connection of two or more computers). Do I need a firewall? Take this short quiz to help you decide what is right for you: Will your computer ever be connected to the Internet or any other computer? If the answer is yes, you need a firewall. What Will a Firewall Do for Me? If your firewall is properly configured and updated, it will stop "most" hackers from gaining access to your computer. A hacker breaks into your computer to get personal information like credit card numbers, social security numbers, bank account numbers or to use your computer under their remote control to do things like that to other computers. Keep in Mind A firewall is not 100% effective. New hacker programs and methods are being developed every day. That is why firewall applications need to be regularly updated. Updates for firewall applications are a must to keep up with these new methods, just like updates to your anti-virus software are necessary to protect you from the latest virus. Firewalls are software programs that can be installed on your computer to seal off any open "ports" (these are like holes in a ziplock baggie - if there is a hole, air can get in. If there is an open port, people can get inside your computer). Threre are many good firewalls available, and some are even free.

29 Choosing a Firewall The first step toward securing your home computer is to install firewalls. What kinds of firewalls are there? Hardware-based firewalls are usually integrated into a router, which sits between your PC and a cable or DSL modem. Hardware firewalls are valuable especially for protecting your computer from outside attacks, and they can protect a network of PCs that share a broadband connection. The application or software firewall is probably the most common type. It is a software program running on your computer that allows the data to pass through it, if you have programmed the software to allow it. You simply select which of your applications, like web browsers, client, mIRC, etc. you want the "firewall" to allow to access the Internet. These firewalls are mainly designed to protect the single computer that is running the software. Ideally, you will use both a hardware and a software firewall. What next? Once a firewall is installed, you should visit the "Shield's Up" section of the website to check your ports to make sure your computer is secure.'s PC World Computer Center has an excellent article comparing four free firewalls.

30 Parental Controls Enlist the aid of filtering and blocking programs While no program can take your place, filtering and blocking programs can help you to monitor your child’s internet use, and keep a lot of harmful material from being viewed or accessed Some parental control software programs can filter outgoing information, and actually prevent certain words or phrases from being typed. This type of blocking can keep your last name, your street, school or phone number from being sent out online.

31 Choosing Parental Control Software
Choosing a filter for monitoring and blocking harmful content on your computer can be an overwhelming task. There is no one software program that will guarantee your child complete and total security. It is vital to remember that parents must do their part by monitoring their child's Internet activities and by selecting a filter that suits the needs of their family appropriately. When deciding what type of filter to install, it is necessary to determine the type and amount of protection needed. For instance, a family with five and seven-year-old children may want to purchase a program that allows them the opportunity to filter out harmful keywords, phrases, materials or content (i.e.: Typing "The Wild West" and finding oneself at a pornographic adult web site). Filtering software should offer options which include limiting access to key phrases or words; websites, images or chat rooms that contain sexually explicit material; graphic or extreme violence; messages of hate or intolerance, as well as illegal activities, such as pro-marijuana usage or club drug recipes. In the case of the older, more sophisticated minor user, a filter would be necessary not only to filter materials but also to track and monitor the user's whereabouts. Parental control options are limitless, allowing the parent to control features such as incoming and outgoing , chat room access, instant message access, file sharing, log URLs and browser activity, enforce curfew, etc. There are several programs that will even notify parents with an about any violations that occur. What types of filters are there? defines the two software options as follows: Client-based filter - A software program that a user installs on his or her own computer to monitor Internet use, block access to specific types of material, prevent kids from accessing the Internet at certain times, or prevent kids from revealing personal information online. This refers to actual software that is purchased or installed on your PC. Server-based filter - Software which is installed on a host server, such as a web server, to filter out Web pages which include content which meets specific criteria. Users who connect to a server which uses a filter will only be able to access those pages which get through the server's filter. This refers to web servers such as AOL or Prodigy. A well-organized site dedicated to informing families how to keep children safe on the net. Using the "Tools for Families," allows parents to select exactly the level of control needed and what type of filter to use.

32 PARENT’S PROMISE I will set reasonable rules and guidelines for my child to follow. (Parental controls) We will discuss them. I will explain the reason for these rules and guidelines. I will explain the dangers about sexual victimization and potential online dangers. I will post the rules and guidelines near the computer to remind my child. I promise to keep the computer in a common area and utilize software to help me monitor what my child does on line and the time spent online. I promise to always maintain access to my child’s online account and randomly check his/her . I promise to learn the web sites and services that my child uses. If I do not know how to reach these sites and service, I will get my child to teach me how to reach these sites and services. I promise to spend time with my child while he/she is on line. I will get to know my child’s online friends. I promise not to overreact if my child tells me about a problem he/she is having on the Internet. I promise that my child and I will work together to solve any problems and to prevent them from happening again. I promise to teach my child the responsibilities and resources for online activity. (Child sites, chat rooms, gambling sites, porn sites, etc.) I promise not to use the computer or the Internet as a babysitter. I promise to make the computer and the Internet a family activity. I will ask my child to help me conduct a plan for family events using the internet. I promise to find out what computer safeguards are utilized by my child’s school, public library and my child’s friend’s computer. I promise to explain to my child the dangers of meeting someone face to face. Teach children basic Internet skills Make sure they understand the terms “privacy,” “personal information,” “netiquette,” “plagiarism,” “copyright,” “friend,” etc. Have them take the Internet safety quiz with you. Talk with your child No matter how hard you try to avoid it, chances are that your child will run across material that is objectionable. The key is to talk to them about the material they see, and explain appropriate behaviors when they do run into it. Never blame your child if he/she is a willing participant in any form of sexual exploitation. The child is not at blame or fault he/she is the victim. The offender always bears the complete responsibility for his or her actions. THE CHILD IS THE VICTIM AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.

33 Examples of Prohibited Behaviors
Flaming (harassment) Circumventing controls Sharing personal information Inappropriate language Plagiarism Attempting to access inappropriate materials Sharing passwords Keep an eye on your child’s use of the Internet. Place the computer in a common room, and stop by often to see what they are up to. Create an Internet Usage Agreement for your family Set up reasonable and personalized rules for computer use in your family. Model the behaviors you wish to encourage online. -Rules need to be plain and simple. You both must understand and agree to the rules in order for them to work. Sitting down and discuss acceptable and nonacceptable behaviors for chatting online. Make sure that your child knows the rules, is clear and there is no room for doubt as to what is allowed. Common sense is the rule of thumb when is comes to safety.

34 When to Worry Screen Switching Odd Phone Calls Odd hours of the night
Sudden influx of cash Unusually upset at an Internet interruption Withdrawal from family or friends There are a number of signs that may signal a problem with your online child. You know your child better than anyone else, so don't rely on this as your only guide. Follow your instincts! Screen Switching If your child quickly changes screens or turns off the monitor when you come into the room, it is likely they are viewing something they don't want you to see. Be calm and ask them to move so that you can view the screen. Odd Phone Calls If your child suddenly begins receiving phone calls from strange adults (or even other children) you may have a problem. Install a caller ID program to determine where the calls are coming from and ask your child to explain them. Odd hours of the night If your child is up typing away in the wee hours of the night he may be chatting online. This activity should be reserved for times and places that are supervised. Sudden influx of cash If your child suddenly has more cash than can be accounted for, or shows up in unfamiliar clothing or with gifts that you can't explain - pedophiles often spend a great deal of money cultivating a relationship with a child. Unusually upset at an Internet interruption It is not normal to cry to be overly upset when the Internet goes down for an hour or two. Withdrawal from family or friends Pedophiles work very hard to drive a wedge between children and the people who support and care for them. The larger the gap between the child and his family, the easier it is for a predator to create a relationship.

35 Final Tips for Parents Do not rely on software to do your job
Do not rely on software to do your job Be proactive   Participate with your child online Plan ahead Encourage their other interests Think "mall“ A time and place for everything Explore the Internet Do not rely on software to do your job Filtering and blocking programs can be a part of your Internet safety plan at home, but they don’t take the place of an informed and involved parent. Be proactive Attend cyber safety classes and spend some time listening to and speaking with other concerned parents. Learn to read history and cache files Participate with your child online Familiarize yourself with the services and programs your child uses. Plan ahead Talk to your child about the things that could be encountered online, and what he/she can do. Encourage their other interests Children should not spend an excessive amount of time online. Encourage them to participate in other types of activities, too. Think "mall" You would not drop your young child off alone in a mall, so do not “drop them off” online either. Remember to keep an eye on them. A time and place for everything Keep your computer in a “common” room– where you can keep an eye on it. Grant your child Internet access only when you are at home and awake. Explore the Internet Take the time to explore the use of your computer and the Internet. They are valuable tools that can enrich the lives of every member of your family. The more you know, the better you can protect your family.

36 Go Online
Full-size printable pdf of this presentation More information about finding and choosing firewalls, anti-virus programs and parental control software Links to the best family-friendly websites online Understanding the responsibility that comes with technology is key to safety. It’s unlikely that you would send your child out to cross the street without first giving a lesson in safe crossing. Nor would you hand over the keys to your car to your teen before learning how to drive and earning a driver’s license. And the ramifications of an error in judgment online can be just as serious and long lasting. Through this guide, we want to empower both you and your family to use the Internet and enjoy all the positive benefits it offers.

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