1. Mission: To Mentor and Empower Families through Advocacy and Training to Improve the Quality of Life and Opportunities for Children and Young Adults with Disabilities 1 1

2. Effective Communication

3. “WE DO NOT PLAN TO FAIL, WE SIMPLY
FAIL TO PLAN”
Most of us wouldn’t dream of attending an important meeting with our boss or for our company without very careful planning. Meetings and planning for our children’s education is something that we all take very seriously, but still find it challenging at times to feel prepared.

4. In this presentation we will look at ways to help you plan to have successful meetings
It is our desire to increase the number of positive and effective experiences that you have with your district regarding your child’s education! This training is designed to provide you with a refresher about communication and planning in the context of advocating for your child. Tonight/today
We are going to discuss communication styles and how different styles may impact successful adth

5. So, what can you do about that?
Communication
Many times, the greatest barrier to a productive meeting is the lack of good communication between team members, and a failure to plan.
So, what can you do about that?
For some of us, a huge barrier may simply be the emotional connection that we have with our child! In some cases communication with your child, spouse and even siblings have been negatively impacted by all things surrounding school!

6. Communication Influences
The emotional influence, this is your child,
The atmosphere and attitude of the last IEP meeting,
The reason for today’s meeting,
The seriousness of today’s priority issue, and
Feelings related to not being knowledgeable about the process or the lingo that is being used.
In addition to these types of influences

7. What is your Communication Style?
Spend some time reflecting on your communication style in your meetings. It may in fact, be a different style than in other areas of your life! There may be many influences that alter your typical communication style when it comes to dealing with your child’s education.
Tonight, we will discuss the most recognized styles. As we do so, think not only about your style, but also the styles of key people at your child’s school.
Communication is definitely a two- way street and most school teams could improve their communication and planning also.

8. Passive Definition: not participating readily or actively
influenced, acted upon
receiving, enduring or submitting without resistance

9. “I’d love to say something about the gaps in the program they’re planning for John, but I’m afraid if I do that a couple of teachers may make it rough on him in other ways”.

10. Passive
The feelings of passive parents are colored with frustration and
with a sense of powerlessness. Someone else is always in control.
Are You saying what you think?

11. Aggressive Definition: unprovoked offenses or attacks
making an all out effort to win or succeed, competitive
pushy

12. “You WILL not fail my child. You WILL provide more reading instruction
“You WILL not fail my child! You WILL provide more reading instruction! I’m going to tell the superintendent of schools about this! And if he doesn’t do anything about it, I will go to the Board of Education!”

13. AGGRESSIVE Risks Will antagonize others Sets up future conflicts
Dreaded
Temporary victories

14. Effective Definition: adequate to accomplish a purpose
producing the intended or expected result
prepared

15. “The long term goals you’ve set up for Mary sounds fine
“The long term goals you’ve set up for Mary sounds fine. However, I can’t agree with the types of math exercises you have planned. When she’s learning a new concept, she needs to work with several approaches, not just with seeing the problem on paper.”

16. EFFECTIVE May not get the desired result
Can still have conflicting ideas
Requires Practice
Requires Self-control
Others feel respected and valued
You feel better about your efforts
Less likely to burn bridges
More likely to get desired results

17. Does Your Planning Style Mirror Your Communication Style?
What About Planning
Does Your Planning Style Mirror Your Communication Style?

18. PASSIVE I don’t have a plan, the school always runs the meetings.
Most of the time I don’t even know why we’re meeting or who I am meeting with.

19. AGGRESSIVE
My plan is to get them all together, tell them off and leave.
I am planning to tell them that they can talk to my attorney!

20. EFFECTIVE I have an agenda with my issues in priority order.
I have practiced exactly what I want to say. I have anticipated their responses to my requests and have a plan for dealing with their responses.
I have a plan for avoiding being defensive or too emotional.

21. Now that we have discussed and hopefully identified your communication style, let’s prepare for positive change!

22. PREPARE AN AGENDA

23. PLANNING FOR YOUR MEETING
Prior to the meeting:
Get your child’s input, (what would he/she like to change at school?)
Note recent comments/concerns from teachers and principals.
Gather and review current information

24. Planning & Preparation
Think about the changes that have occurred since the last meeting
Ask yourself, “How did I feel about the last meeting and why? What would I change to make for a more positive or productive meeting?”
Is there anything that you can change about your communication or demeanor that could make for a better meeting?

25. Organize For Your Meeting
Choose a priority that must be addressed at this meeting and include it in your agenda.
Think and make a note of what you want to say.
Anticipate how the other person may respond.
Plan an appropriate response to what you anticipate.

26. AT THE MEETING Be on time
Greet each person, introduce yourself to anyone that you don’t know
Provide each person with a copy of your agenda
Thank everyone for attending and taking the time for this very important meeting
How you conduct yourself from the start can carry strong messages about your intentions

27. Change the Conversation to Change the Culture
Encourage dialogue that is void of blame, history and negative attention.
Separate the relationship from the substance, focus on the issue not the person.
Recognize and understand emotions, theirs and yours. Don’t react to emotional outbursts.
Build a working relationship.

28. Thinking Points We work together toward common understanding
Listen to understand, find meaning and agreement
See all sides of an issue
Admit that others’ thinking can improve one’s own
Search for strengths and value others’ positions
Discover or create new options
Make a prediction of misunderstanding
You cannot change the past, so concentrate on the future

29. AVOID PITFALLS
Stay focused on your agenda, but allow others to address their issues.
Don’t derail your own meeting by being defensive.
Minimize criticism and pay compliments at every opportunity.

30. Why Is Effective Communication Important?
You have a right and responsibility to be effectively involved in your child’s education.
You’re more likely to have meaningful input into your child’s education when you are effective.

31. OUTCOME MORE PRODUCTIVE MEETINGS
IMPROVED COMMUNICATION WITH SERVICE PROVIDERS
BETTER EDUCATIONAL OUTCOMES FOR OUR CHILDREN!

32. DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT ‘EM!
A PLAN
YOUR BEST COMMUNICATION SKILLS