1. Susan Morris, M.Ed, CPCC, ACC President Morris Consulting Group, LLC
Society of Information Management
SIM Women
April 29, 2009
The Art of the Question
Susan Morris, M.Ed, CPCC, ACC
President
Morris Consulting Group, LLC

2. What we’ll cover today Focus on one Communication Excellence aspect
Introduce a new tool for question asking

3. Benefits to you Ask better questions, get better data
Get better data, reduce errors and rework
Increase effectiveness of two-way communication
Build better interpersonal relationships

4. As children, we are taught to…
Answer questions when we are called on
Answer questions with the “right” answer
Ask multiple questions
-without hesitation
-from a perspective of curiosity
-from not knowing

5. Question Myths All questions have answers.
Questions must be answered immediately.
Asking questions is rude and intrusive.
Person asking questions has power.
Asking questions exposes one’s ignorance.
Open-ended questions are better than closed-ended questions.

6. 80/20 Rule 80% of the time telling, 20% of the time asking
Command and direct management style
Organizations are risk averse
Thinking is black/white, on/off, positive/negative
80% of the time asking, 20% of the time telling
Collaborative, cooperative, strategic leadership style
Organizations are risk tolerant
There may be no one right answer

7. Debra’s report is late, again!
What questions are you asking yourself about Debra?
What questions will you ask Debra?

8. Two World Views OR What’s wrong with Debra? Why is she always late?
Why am I surrounded by “Debras”?
What’s really going on with Debra?
What assumptions am I making about Debra? OR

9. Two World Views Judger Mindset Learner Mindset
Mindset = our internal dialogue, self-talk
Mindset directs the questions we ask

10. Judger Mindset As humans, our default position Reactive and automatic
Know it already
Critical
Inflexible, rigid
Accept our own point of view
Possibilities are limited
Intolerant, especially of differences
Negative, find fault, makes others defensive, angry or apathetic

11. Judger Questions What’s wrong? Why am I afraid?
How can I prove I’m right?
What if I fail?
What if I lose my job?
How can I protect my turf?
How can I stay in control?
How did I get into this mess?
What stupid thing did I say/do now?
What do they have against me?

12. Judger Mindset: What locks us in?
We seek the “right” answer
We may not be aware we are in a Judger mindset
We are afraid of not knowing, looking foolish or not living up to other’s expectations of us
We lack objectivity
We can’t discern opinion from fact
Under stress, we revert back to old, dysfunctional behaviors
We take ourselves too seriously, we are the expert!

13. Debra’s report is late again!
What’s wrong with Debra?
Why is she always late?
Why am I surrounded by “Debras”?
What’s really going on with Debra?
What assumptions am I making about Debra?

14. Learner Mindset Responsive and thoughtful Beginner’s mind
Questions asked from the perspective of curiosity
Flexible, adaptive, innovative
Supportive
Values differences
Seeks to resolve and create
Sees possibilities, solutions
Hopeful, collaborative
Being present, in the moment
Listens for agreement

15. Learner Questions What are my choices? What is useful about this?
What can I learn from this person/situation?
What next steps make sense?
How else can I think about this?
How can I forgive myself?
How can I keep the conversation positive?
What works?
What’s the big picture?
What are others thinking/feeling?
How can I be successful today?
How can I make others successful today?

16. Debra’s report is late again!
What’s wrong with Debra?
Why is she always late?
Why am I surrounded by “Debras”?
What’s really going on with Debra?
What assumptions am I making about Debra?

17. Notice the Impact Place feet on floor Relax hands in lap Eyes closed
Breath through the nose and out through the mouth = abdominal breathing
Notice the impact of two sets of questions

18. Judger/Learner Self-Questions
What’s wrong?
Whose fault is it?
How can I be right?
How can I win?
Why did I make a mistake?
How can I get hurt?
Why are others so
_____, ____ and ___?
What are the facts?
What assumptions am I making?
What options do I have?
What can I learn from this?
What’s possible?
How else can I view this situation?

19. What’s right about Judger Questions?
“What’s right about Judger questions?” is a learner question
Judger questions have their place: audits, interviews, planning
Judger questions help to quantify and evaluate
Over-use is problem: appears like interrogation and leads to defensiveness

20. Observing Questions What is happening right now? How is my breathing?
Where do I feel the tension?
What am I missing?
What buttons are being pushed?
Do I need a break?
How am I interpreting this situation?

21. You have a Choice! Toggle between Judger/Learner questions
Observe your breathing: high chest versus abdominal breathing
Pause/”wait” response
Accept Judger, practice Learner
You can’t change others but you can choose to change your self/mindset
Prepare Learner questions ahead, for critical/difficult conversations
When others approach in Judger mindset, ask Learner question

22. Switching Questions What is my goal right now?
What do I want/need/desire?
What has worked before?
How can we get back on track?
What is simple and easy to do right now?
What do I need to let go of?
Where am I stuck?
What can I ask now I haven’t asked before?

23. Powerful Questions What do I want? What could I have done differently?
What is stopping me?
Where do I go from here?
How else can I think about this?
What is possible for me?
What do we want?
What could we have done differently?
What is stopping us?
Where do we go from here?
How else can we think about this?
What is possible for us?

24. Judger/Learner Questions Application
Communicating in changing job environments
Giving and receiving feedback
Conducting team meetings
Persuading, influencing, especially in matrix environments
Customer Service
Strategic planning
Hiring and firing

25. Challenge It takes 21 days to change a behavior!
Count number of statements vs. questions
Count number of Judger/Learner questions
Count the number of times you did not ask a question
What is the trade-off if you don’t ask?
What is the impact if you do ask?

26. Challenge On May 13th, send me an e-mail: smorris@morrisconsulting.biz
What changes do you observe in your relationships with others?
What do others notice about their relationship with you?
chosen at random wins two hours of complimentary telephone coaching

27. Thank You!
Susan Morris, president of the Morris Consulting Group, LLC is a relationship consultant for R&D scientists and technical experts
Susan’s area of expertise is coaching women professionals to get them a “seat at the top” of their organizations