1. Dos and Don’ts & Steps in Conflict Resolution
Calvin Nyachoti
Institute of Certified Public Secretaries of Kenya

3. Introduction
One of the most challenging roles of an effective leader is that of “peacekeeper”.
Requires negotiation skills, patience and a healthy dose of emotional intelligence (EI).
EI defined as ‘the ability to identify, assess and control the emotions of oneself, of others and groups’.

4. Introduction cont…
How can dispute resolvers tap into this EI factor to solve conflicts?
In any dialogue – there are two fundamental needs:
Ego need – listened to, valued, appreciated, empathized with, involved and empowered.
Practical need – the reason for having the discussion/focused on solving the dispute.

5. Golden Rules of Engagement
Listen and respond with empathy;
Be involved, involve; ask for other person’s opinions, ideas and thoughts; and
Maintain and affirm self-esteem

7. Clarify what the dispute is:
Understand how the dispute began
Get the heart/source of the dispute
Get both sides of the disagreement
Be specific – shows you are aware

8. 2. Establish a common goal for both parties
Look beyond the dispute
Find out both parties desired outcome of the conflict
It helps if both are working towards the same goal
The shared outcome is a good good starting point

9. 3. Discuss ways to meet the common goal
Active listening, beware of various verbal nuances and body language.
Communicating, steering discussion away from finger pointing.
Brainstorming together on how to make things better

10. 4. Determine barriers to the common goal
Identify and get acknowledgement from both parties what may prevent resolution
It will help you proactively find solutions
Helps with plans to handle issues/get around issues

11. 5. Agree on best way to resolve the dispute
Both parties to suggest the best solution
Start by identifying solutions both parties can live with.
Start with discussing each party’s responsibility on maintaining the solution (shouldn’t happen again)
Shake hands/sometimes may be useful to write down

12. 6. Acknowledge solution and determine each party’s responsibility
Recap
Both parties must own their responsibility in the resolution
Express and ideally both parties acknowledge aloud what has been agreed and their responsibility
Agree on follow up where necessary

14. The Dos and Don’ts in Conflict Resolution

16. Important Notes – Dos Set the time and place for conflict resolution
Body language says a lot
Tone of voice, choice of words - speaks volumes
Maintain eye contact with whoever you are addressing

17. Important Notes – Dos cont…
Active listening skills
Address each person by name throughout
Stick to the problem at hand
Where possible, get a ‘win’ for everyone concerned otherwise there is no motivation to maintain the resolution

18. Important Notes – Dos cont…
Where necessary find a third party to mediate the conflict
Resolve the conflict quickly and appropritately

19. Important Notes – Don’ts
Drop pre-conceived solutions
Get into conflict resolution with assumptions
Tell a person what is wrong with them
Continue when emotions are running high

20. Important Notes – Don’ts cont..
Be defensive
Start to give advice too early
Forgetting what you’ve been told by the parties
Focus on traits that people cant change

21. Important Notes – Don’ts cont..
Interrupt others when they’re speaking
Avoid conflict
Impose your own personal values and beliefs
Approach conflict resolution with flexibility

22. Important Note Conflicts are normal Even healthy
What matters is how we handle them

24. Q & A