1. Tips to Improve Your Writing So people (including me) will take you seriously With info and examples from The Elements of Style [4 th ed.] by William Strunk and E.B. White

2. Using the “Active Voice” (rule #14) the active voice is more direct and vigorous than the passive IncorrectCorrect (1) My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me. I will always remember my first visit to Boston. (2) There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground. Dead leaves covered the ground. (3) The reason he left college was that his health became impaired. Failing health forced him to leave college. (4) The idea that America was one of the most powerful countries in the world was one of General Patton’s most important beliefs. General Patton believed in America’s supremacy.

3. Using the “Positive Voice” (rule #15) Put statements in positive form, and avoid tame, colorless, hesitant, and non-committal language. Only use “not” as a means of denial and NEVER as a means of evasion. IncorrectCorrect (1) He was not usually on time.He usually arrived late. (2) He did not think that studying French was very important. He thought that studying French was useless. (3) The people were mad because they did not like what the president said in his speech. The president’s speech infuriated the people.

4. Omit Needless Words (rule #17) writing should be concise  makes it stronger and more energetic – a sentence with unnecessary words or a paragraph with unnecessary sentences would be like a drawing with unnecessary lines or a machine with unnecessary parts IncorrectCorrect (1) this is the subject thatthis subject (2) he is a man whohe (3) in a hasty mannerhastily (4) the reason why I like her is thatI like her because (5) used for cleaning purposesused for cleaning (6) in spite of the fact that it seemed correctalthough it seemed correct (7) the fact that he had not succeeded causedhis failure caused

5. Don’t Confuse the Reader (rule #16) make it a habit to use specific, definite, and concrete language – avoid being too general, too vague, and too abstract IncorrectCorrect (1) A period of unfavorable weather set in.It rained every day for a week. (2) He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned compensation. He grinned as he pocketed the cash. (3) The one that was in charge of making decisions for the group decided that the group should plant more of the most popular type of crop. The chief decided that the tribe should plant twice as much corn.

6. Keep Related Words Together (rule #20) badly placed words often cause confusion and ambiguity – the position of words in a sentence is vital to understanding their relationship IncorrectCorrect (1) He noticed a large stain in the rug that was right in the center. He noticed a large stain right in the center of the rug. (2) You can call your mother in London and tell her all about George’s taking you out to dinner for just two dollars. For just two dollars you can call your mother in London and tell her all about George’s taking you out to dinner. (3) New York’s first commercial sperm bank opened Friday with semen samples from eighteen men frozen in a stainless steel tank. New York’s first commercial sperm bank opened Friday when semen samples were taken from eighteen men. The samples were then frozen and stored in a stainless steel tank.

7. Bad Sentences When I was in my first year of high school I wrote a paper that said George Washington was the first president to put a group of advisors around him. When Sam closed the door real hard he ended up causing Mary’s arm to break. During the days when I was a student going to high school math was one of the subjects that I did not like. I laughed so hard when John dropped his wallet in the water in the toilet bowl and then milk came out from my nose.

8. Possible Revisions for “Bad Sentences” In 9 th grade I wrote a paper about President Washington’s role in forming the first Cabinet. Sam broke Mary’s arm when he slammed the door. I despised high school math. When John’s wallet fell in the toilet I laughed so hard that milk squirted out of my nose.