1. SATIRE/PARODY PROJECT options Magazine cover Directions manual, safety poster Song Poem TV ad Children’s story CHECK CALENDAR FOR DUE DATES

2. Euro soccer May, 2016 FLARES, STICKS, AND VIOLENCE Does the game really matter? Special Contest: How many players named Ronaldo are there in soccer? Guess correctly and win a free subscription Don’t keep score: you’re all winners!!! I flop, you flop — learn from Dieter!!!! Futbol cured me of kleptomania Good news: Americans Love the 0-0 tie!

3. Parody of safety poster/direction manual

4. "Amish Paradise" As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 "Gangsta's Paradise" As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left Cause I've been blasting and laughing so long, That even my mama thinks that my mind is gone But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it Me be treated like a punk you know that's unheard of You better watch how you're talking and where you're walking Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk I really hate to trip but I gotta loc As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke, fool I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like On my knees in the night saying prayers in the streetlight

6. A children’s story

7. The OJ Trial As Told By Dr. Seuss I did not kill my lovely wife. I did not slash her with a knife. I did not bonk her on the head. I did not know that she was dead. I stayed at home that fateful night. I took a cab, then took a flight. The bag I had was just for me. My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be. When I came home I had a gash. My hand was cut from broken glass. I cut my hand on broken glass. A broken glass did cause that gash. I have nothing, nothing to hide. My friend, he took me for a ride. Did you take this person's life? Did you do it with a knife? I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not, kill my wife. I did not do this awful crime. I could not, would not, anytime. Did you hit her from above? Did you drop this bloody glove? I did not hit her from above. I cannot even wear that glove. I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not, kill my wife. I did not do this awful crime. I could not, would not, anytime. And now I'm free, I can return To my house for which I yearn. And to my family whom I love. Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove

8. THE END OF THE RAVEN by Edgar Allen Poe's cat On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting, I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for. Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven, Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door. "Raven's very tasty," thought I, as I tiptoed o'er the floor, "There is nothing I like more“ Parody of a poem