1. Linda Graham, MFT linda@lindagraham-mft.net www.lindagraham-mft.net Shift Happens: The Neuroscience of Resilience And Well-Being USJT 9 th Counseling Advances Conference Las Vegas, NV April 1, 2016

2. Linda Graham, MFT Marriage and Family Therapist – 25 years AEDP, IFS, DBT, EMDR, Sensorimotor – Attachment Trauma Mindfulness, Neuroscience Mindful Self-Compassion teacher Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well- Being 2013 Books for a Better life award 2014 Better Books for a Better World award linda@lindagraham-mft.net www.lindagraham-mft.net

4. Shift Happens Shit happens Shift happens, too Shift can happen in this moment Shift can happen in any moment That’s the shift

5. All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. - Helen Keller

6. Presence - Overwhelm Presence and well- being Creativity and flow Discipline and productivity Busy-ness and pressure Stress and overwhelm Self-combustion

7. Resilience Hardiness Grit, will to survive Determination, perseverance, endurance, follow-through Coping Face and deal with challenges and crises Navigate life’s twists and turns, unexpected and disruptive Bounce back from adversity, from truly awful Flexibility Responsiveness; able to shift gears: perspectives, views, behaviors You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. - Jon Kabat-Zinn

8. Response Flexibility It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptive to change. - Charles Darwin

9. Response Flexibility Between a stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. The last of human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. - Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist, survivor of Auschwitz

10. Response Flexibility How you respond to the issue…is the issue. - Frankie Perez, Momentous Institute

11. Rewiring for Resilience and Well-Being Rewire brain out of stress-trauma-negativity- inner critic Recover resilience and resources – stability and flexibility Choose new experiences; harness neuroplasticity Move to thriving and flourishing

13. Human Brain: Evolutionary Masterpiece 100 billion neurons Neurons most diverse cells in body – 150 types Each neuron contains the entire human genome Neurons “fire” hundreds of time per second Neurons in PFC connect to 15,000 other neurons Trillions of synaptic connections As many connections in single cubic centimeter of brain tissue as stars in Milky Way galaxy

14. Modern Neuroscience What neural structures/circuits are How neural structures/circuits develop How brain functions; processes information; communicates within itself How brain learns/installs patterns of coping How brain rewires its memory patterns

15. Modern Brain Science The field of neuroscience is so new, we must be comfortable not only venturing into the unknown but into error. - Richard Mendius, M.D.

17. Neuroplasticity Greatest discovery of modern neuroscience Growing new neurons Strengthening synaptic connections Myelinating pathways – faster processing Creating and altering brain structure and circuitry Organizing and re-organizing functions of brain structures The brain changes itself - lifelong

18. The brain is shaped by experience. And because we have a choice about what experiences we want to use to shape our brain, we have a responsibility to choose the experiences that will shape the brain toward the wise and the wholesome. - Richard J. Davidson, PhD Center for Investigating Healthy Minds Univ. of Wisconsin-Madison

19. Evolutionary legacy Genetic templates Family of origin conditioning Norms-expectations of culture-society Who we are and how we cope…. …is not our fault. - Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind Compassion-Focused Therapy

20. Given neuroplasticity And choices of self-directed neuroplasticity Who we are and how we cope… …is our responsibility - Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind

21. Mechanisms of Brain Change Conditioning The brain automatically encodes responses to experience in neural circuitry New Conditioning New experiences create new neural circuitry; new patterns of response Re-Conditioning The juxtaposition of new, positive experiences with old, negative experiences “rewires” the old De-Conditioning The default network “plays” and generates new insights

22. Conditioning Experience causes neurons to fire Repeated experiences, repeated neural firings Neurons that fire together wire together Strengthen synaptic connections Connections stabilize into neural pathways Without intervention, is what the brain does Conditioning is neutral, wires positive and negative

24. New Conditioning Choose new experiences Gratitude practice, listening skills, focusing attention, self-compassion, self-acceptance Create new experiences, new learning, new memory Create new sense of self Encode new wiring; install new patterns of response, new habits, new ways of being

25. Crack the NUTs (Negative Unwanted Thoughts) Shift from Self-Critical Voice to Self-Compassionate Voice Notice any critical self-talk; notice the words; notice the tone of voice Use critical voice as cue to shift to compassionate self-talk in soft, gentle voice: “May I be kind to myself in this moment; may I accept myself in this moment exactly as I am.”

26. Re-conditioning Memory de-consolidation – re-consolidation “Light up” neural networks Juxtapose old negative with new positive Neurons fall apart, rewire; new rewires old Basis of all trauma therapy

27. Re-Conditioning Resource with memory of someone’s compassion toward you Evoke memory of someone being critical of you Hold awareness of criticizing moment and compassionate moment in dual awareness Drop the criticizing moment; rest in the compassionate moment. Evoke self-compassion; evoke inner critic

28. Modes of Processing Focused Attention Tasks and details; personal self Deliberate, guided change New conditioning and re-conditioning De-focused Attention Default network; social self Mental play space – random change De-conditioning

29. De-Conditioning Default network – brain “plays,” makes new links, new associations, connects dots in news ways Reverie, daydreams Imagination Guided visualizations, meditations Can drop into worry, rumination Can drop into plane of open possibilities New insights, new behaviors

30. Compassionate Friend Sit comfortably; hand on heart for loving awareness Imagine safe place Imagine warm, compassionate figure – Compassionate Friend Sit-walk-talk with compassionate friend Discuss difficulties; listen for exactly what you need to hear from compassionate friend Receive object of remembrance from friend Reflect-savor intuitive wisdom

31. Practices to Accelerate Brain Change Presence – primes receptivity of brain Intention/choice – activates plasticity Practice – creates new pathways, new more resilient habits of coping Perseverance – “little and often” installs change

32. Functions of Pre-Frontal Cortex CEO of Resilience Regulate body and nervous system Quell fear response of amygdala Manage emotions Attunement – felt sense of feelings Empathy – making sense of experience Insight an self-knowing Response flexibility Planning, decision making

33. Mindfulness and Compassion Awareness of what’s happening (and our reactions to what’s happening) Acceptance of what’s happening (and our reactions to what’s happening) Two most powerful agents of brain change known to science; both foster response flexibility Rewiring that is safe, efficient, effective

34. Mindfulness and Compassion Activate Caregiving System Mindfulness Focuses awareness on experience May I accept this moment, exactly as it is Self-Compassion Focuses kindness on experiencer May I accept myself exactly as I am in this moment Common Humanity I am not alone; I am not the only one Activates caregiving system Shift from reactivity and contraction to openness, engagement

35. Mindful Self-Compassion Shifts Brain Functioning In the present moment – restores equanimity Over time – creates new patterns of behavior Becomes way of being – natural, effortless

36. Benefits of Self-Compassion Increased motivation; efforts to learn and grow Less fear of failure; greater likelihood to try again Taking responsibility for mistakes; apologies and forgiveness Less depression, anxiety, stress, avoidance More resilience in coping with life stressors Healthier relationships; more support and, less control and/or aggression Increased social connectedness, life satisfaction, and happiness

38. Self-Compassion Break Notice moment of suffering Ouch! This hurts! This is painful. Soothing touch (hand on heart, cheek, hug) Kindness toward experiencer May I be kind to myself in this moment May I accept this moment exactly as it is May I accept myself in this moment exactly as I am May I give myself all the compassion I need to respond to this moment wisely

40. One for Me; One for You Breathing in, “nourishing, nourishing” Breathing out, “soothing, soothing” In imagination, “nourishing for me, nourishing for you, soothing for me, soothing for you” “One for me, one for you” Practice breathing “one for me, one for you” when in conversation with someone

41. Caregiving with Equanimity Everyone is on his or her own life journey. I am not the cause of this person’s suffering, nor is it entirely within my power to make it go away, even if I wish I could. Moments like this are difficult to bear, Yet I may still try to help if I can.

42. Linda Graham, MFT linda@lindagraham-mft.net www.lindagraham-mft.net Shift Happens: The Neuroscience of Resilience And Well-Being USJT 9 th Counseling Advances Conference Las Vegas, NV April 1, 2016