1. Parenting Skills
Information Pack, July 2009

2. Useful Parenting Websites
Parenting Styles website with comprehensive information The Child Accident Prevention Trust has a range of resources and information Channel 4 series on parenting Baby Borrowers website - download the free teacher’s pack and try playing the baby challenge The BBC parenting website has quizzes and games as well as general information Raising Kids has a range of useful articles on parenting and safety useful factsheet about parenting with links to Matty’s story and useful websites contains excellent PSHE resources (click on schools & PSHE button in the left hand menu) Positive Parenting is a UK charity providing useful resources to parents around the world help and advice for parents across the UK online magazine with a wide range of articles and resources on families and parenting

3. Introduction
This pack has been designed to tie in with World Population Day on 11th July, 2009 – a time to reflect on how we raise our children to deal with the world of the future (this year’s emphasis is on educating girls to beat poverty).
The 4 sessions touch on various aspects of parenting and issues raised when looking after children. I strongly encourage you not only to look at the relevant sections of the curriculum document but the following resources that every centre has a copy of:
THE HEALTHAWARE PACK – there are some excellent extension activities and additional resources in the pack
THE ‘BABY BORROWERS’ YOUTH WORKER PACK – the teachers pack is also available for free download from the BBC website
I have suggested ‘Bottle Babies’ as a suitable extension activity for each session as this is quite a fun activity which touches on the issues looked at in the sessions.
BOTTLE BABIES (with thanks to Debilyn Janota)
First make your baby – collect empty plastic bottles (size is up to you) and hand one to each member of the group. They can decorate them, dress them etc. as they wish.
Give each young person a copy of the checklist (in the activity sheet pack) – explain to them that their bottle babies will be checked at each session and they will be awarded points accordingly. If they forget their babies they will be deducted a number of points. Their babies must be looked after at all times – if you see them being neglected you will deduct points. If the babies need to be looked after, then the young people will have to pay for baby sitters at 50p an hour.

4. Introduction
Finally, do an oral evaluation of the experience asking each person:
What did you learn?
What would you do differently?
Did you enjoy the experience?
Was it different to how you expected?
Points are to be awarded for: condition of bottle baby, level of care observed, condition of checklist, participation in evaluation. You could award a prize to the best bottle baby ‘parent’.
You could also try using one of the cyberbabies available across the county.
As ever, please work with sensitivity when delivering this pack and emphasise the fact that there are many types of family in our society, where many different people may take on the role of parent/carer and that these sessions are about the significant adults in their life. Should any young person wish to disclose any information about their home life as a result of the sessions, please review current guidelines and policy on confidentiality.
CURRICULUM CHAPTERS: Citizenship (3), Healthy Living (10), Parenting (18), Personal Safety (20), Sex & Relationships Education (23), Working with Young Men & Women (25)
EVERY CHILD MATTERS OUTCOMES: Stay safe, enjoy & achieve, make a positive contribution

5. Session 1: What is a parent/carer anyway?
MATERIALS: Flip chart, ideal parent/carer activity sheet, negative to positive activity sheet, parenting situation cards, old magazines, art materials for activity 2
ICEBREAKER: Imaginary parent – ask the group to think about their parent/carer. What do they think about you, the young person? Ask them to talk about themselves as if they were their parent/carer. Give the group a few minutes thinking time and then invite them to share
ACTIVITY 1: Looking at parenting styles – the ‘uptight’ v the ‘laidback’ parent/carer. Make a list on the flip chart of qualities that a ‘uptight’ parent/carer might have: disciplinarian, doesn’t listen, not sympathetic, selfish then contrast with a ‘laidback’ parent/carer, adding extra qualities that the ‘laidback’ parent/carer might have. Encourage a discussion about parenting styles – can it be good to have discipline, or if a parent is too strict does it force you to rebel? But if your parent/carer is too laid back then do you know what the boundaries are? Remind young people that, whatever their background, they can choose to be the ‘laidback’ parent. Now make a list of good parenting skills, which should include the following:
Giving independence
Giving praise and encouragement
Being positive
Giving unconditional love
Allowing children to fail by having reasonable expectations and not pressuring them
ACTIVITY 2: ‘The ideal parent/carer’ hand out the activity sheets and encourage young people to express their ideal – this could be through a mood board approach, figuratively, comic strip, rap etc. Encourage young people who want to share their ideas to do so. Have a group discussion about the qualities that are most important in a parent/carer – do they have to be perfect? Is parenting a learning process that parent and child both take part in?

6. Session 1: What is a parent/carer anyway?
ACTIVITY 3: Negatives to Positives – put the group in pairs. Ask one of the pair to read out the first sentence, then ask the other in the pair to make that a positive statement. Then ask them to swap over and so on til they’ve finished all the situations. Feedback: go through the sentences, asking for suggestions from the pairs as to how they made them positives, not negatives. ACTIVITY 4: Roleplay – act out the scenarios suggested on the ‘what would you do?’ sheet in the activity sheets pack. Invite members of the group to respond as if they’re the parents – encourage them to use different styles to deal with the situation. Feedback on what you feel you got out of it? Do certain situations need a certain style? Do certain styles work better than others? Is there one style that always works or do you need to have different approaches depending on the scenario? Remind them of some of the core values you discussed earlier and that it’s important to try and build self esteem. EVALUATION: Use a talking stick and pass it round the circle asking each young person one thing that they’ve most enjoyed during the session EXTENSION ACTIVITY: See Introduction for Bottle Babies – or engage with your local cyberbaby programme. To develop the themes further, please look at the parenting section of your Healthaware Resource Pack

7. Leader’s Notes – Session 1
ICEBREAKER: As leader, be prepared to kick start the session by talking about yourself as your parent/carer sees you!
ACTIVITY 1: For an overview of the main parenting styles see You might also get the group to try the following online quiz The Parenting Styles website has a comprehensive range of information
ACTIVITY 2: Discuss the meaning of the words on the sheet before you start and encourage the group to add their own if there are particular qualities they want to reflect on.
ACTIVITY 3: Some suggested ‘positive’ responses are:
Let’s tidy your room together/I’ll help you to tidy your room
We can go to the park tomorrow/you can play in the garden today
Have some biscuits when you’ve eaten your dinner
Do you need some help with your homework?/Are you having a problem with your homework?
Why don’t you save up some money towards it?
Why don’t you go outside and play with that?
Play nicely with your brother
Let’s wash your hands first before we dry them on the towel
Let’s get you some headphones for listening to music

8. Leader’s Notes – Session 1
ACTIVITY 4: The cards in the pack are just suggestions for roleplay situations, and can be used for this activity and for the roleplay activity in session 4. I suggest you use the simpler situation involving young children in this activity e.g. a child wanting a hug when covered in mud. Encourage the group to try different styles – getting mad, or going ahead and giving the hug and then having to get changed and be late etc. These situations are also fairly light hearted so play them for laughs and leave the more serious points about parenting styles for the feedback. EVALUATION: instead of a stick, why not use something relevant to the discussion like a dummy or a baby bottle? CURRICULUM CHAPTERS: 3, 18 ECM OUTCOMES: Enjoy & achieve

9. Session 2: How Much?!
MATERIALS: Flip chart, baby needs activity sheet, teenager needs activity sheet ICEBREAKER: ‘My friend had a baby and I bought it a...’ Go round the circle adding presents from a-z (play like ‘I went shopping and I bought an apple, I bought an apple and a banana’ and so on) ACTIVITY 1: As a group, make a list on a flipchart of all the things a new baby needs – food, clothes, toys, transport, childcare, love, attention etc. Ask the group to estimate how much they think a new baby costs in its first year – tell them it’s estimated that bringing up a child until they’re 18 is estimated to cost £80,000. Nappies alone for the first year are estimated to cost £720. ACTIVITY 2: Split the group into smaller groups and ask each one to research the costs of a new baby – hand out the activity sheet and tell the groups they can research however they like: anecdotal evidence, computer, magazines and catalogues etc. Bring the group back together to compare costs. ACTIVITY 3: Group discussion: how could you cut some of those costs (buying secondhand, from ebay, swapping things with a friend etc)? When is it OK to cut costs and when would you make the decision to have new stuff (for example, it’s essential for safety reasons to have brand new car seats and cot mattresses)? ACTIVITY 4: What do children need as they get older? Do their needs change and if so how, and why? Now repeat the cost activity with the young person activity sheet, asking young people to fill in the spaces with the items they think are essential and then cost them up. Bring the group back together for feedback. Ask them to think about the hidden costs of bringing up children – the emotional costs and how difficult it is for parents to have to say no.

10. Session 2: How Much?!
EVALUATION: Put up three pieces of flipchart paper with the following questions: what did you find out? What did you enjoy? What would you like to know more about? Ask each member of the group to write a one word answer to each question on the sheet then see which words jump out and hold a brief discussion. EXTENSION ACTIVITY: Bottle Babies as before, linking to ideas about the actual and emotional costs of bringing up children

11. Session 2: Leader’s Notes
ACTIVITY 1: For more information on the cost of parenting see: average costs broken down over ideas for budgeting information on the ‘Baby Budget’ ACTIVITY 2: You could encourage one group to use an online shopping site like or and another to look at a specific baby site like Pick up some catalogues for this activity from Tesco, Argos, Mothercare etc. ACTIVITY 3: Encourage young people to use cost comparison sites like or or a website like Compare the prices found at these sites with those on and ACTIVITY 4: Encourage young people to think about what is essential to them and what are luxuries – do they really need brand name trainers when cheap ones do the same job? Do they need the latest mobile phone or will an older, cheaper model do. Encourage them to really think about their choices, and to think about how their parent/carer feels if they have to say no because of cost or other factors. CURRICULUM CHAPTERS: 3, 18 ECM OUTCOMES: Enjoy & achieve

12. Session 3: Keeping Children Safe
MATERIALS: Flip chart, safe/unsafe activity from ‘Baby Borrowers’ Youth Worker pack, wordsearch, cushions or other soft obstacles, head/heart/bin/bag pictures from activity sheet pack for evaluation ICEBREAKER: Obstacle course – mark out a series of obstacles on the floor using cushions. Divide the group into pairs and have one partner stand at one end of the room and the other at the opposite end. Tell everyone to study the layout of the obstacle course very carefully then blindfold one set of young people and ask them to try and get safely to the other side to meet their partner. Now repeat, allowing the sighted person to call directions. Feedback on the different experience of doing the course with and without help. Relate this to how parents are responsible for keeping children safe. ACTIVITY 1: Wordsearch – solve the puzzle then find the words in the grid ACTIVITY 2: Safe/Unsafe activity from ‘Baby Borrowers’ Youth Worker Pack. Feedback on ways that you could make unsafe activities or situations safer – encourage the group to reflect on what they think is safe and unsafe. ACTIVITY 3: Develop a ‘Child Safety Charter’ – use a flip chart to brainstorm ideas. Think about the different types of safety – trips & falls, out & about, stranger danger – and think about different age groups: there are different hazards for small children than those facing young people. ACTIVITY 4: Quiz – choose one of the excellent quizzes from CAPT or try the online quiz at or

13. Session 3: Keeping Children Safe
EVALUATION: Stick up the 4 pictures from the activity pack: head, heart, bin, bag. Ask each young person to write a word or phrase on each picture to answer the following:
Head: something that made them think
Heart: something they felt
Bin: something they thought wasn’t very good or that they weren’t interested in
Bag: something they’ll take away from the session
EXTENSION ACTIVITY: Bottle babies, linking to ideas of safety

14. Leader’s Notes: Session 3
ICEBREAKER: Make sure you don’t use anything that can potentially cause injury if young people trip or fall.
ACTIVITY 1: Wordsearch answers:
Stabilisers
Stranger
Internet safety
Helmet
Trip
Bath
Window
Suffocation
Smoke
Choke, burns
ACTIVITY 4: I’ve included a CAPT quiz in the activity sheets pack for those who may not have Internet access.
CURRICULUM CHAPTERS: 3, 18, 20
ECM OUTCOMES: Stay safe, enjoy & achieve

15. Session 4: Parents/Carers Know Best? WITH THANKS TO EDUCATION WORLD
MATERIALS: Flip chart, ‘what would you do’ cards, greeting card activity sheet ICEBREAKER: Following instructions – get everyone to stand up and follow the instructions you read out (see leader’s notes). Did everybody manage to follow them OK? Do you always do what your told or follow instructions? If not, why not? ACTIVITY 1: Parental Responsibilities – have a group discussion about what responsibilities parents/carers have and make a list: this could include money management (paying bills), house & car maintenance, earning money etc. Give the group a few minutes to think about 3 things that their parent/carer does for them – invite young people to share if they want to. ACTIVITY 2: Share a situation from your own life where your parent/carer made a decision you didn’t like e.g. Not being allowed to go to Glastonbury, having to visit a relative instead of going to football and explaining how you now realise that was the right decision, and how difficult it was for your parent/carer to make that decision. Ask the group to think about similar situations in their own lives and to share them if they want to – how did they feel at the time? Do they realise why the decision was made? Do they think it might have been a difficult decision for their parent/carer to make because they were a young person once? ACTIVITY 3: What would you do? Divide the group into smaller groups and hand out the cards (these are the same as for session 1). Ask the group to work through the situations – they can discuss or roleplay. Feedback – did they find the situations easy to resolve? Did everyone in the group agree about the way to handle the different situations or were there a variety of different approaches?

16. Session 4: Parents/Carers Know Best? WITH THANKS TO EDUCATION WORLD
ACTIVITY 4: Thank you card activity sheet: use the template to encourage young people to design a thank you card for a parent/carer using the following information from the session:
The 3 things their parent/carer does for them that they thought about at the beginning of the session
The situation and decision that they didn’t like at the time but now understand better
Their thanks for everything their parent/carer does for them
EVALUATION: Change places – read out the following statements and, if young people agree with them they need to stand up and change places with someone else in the circle. Ask them why they agreed or didn’t agree:
The session made me think about how I feel about my parent/carer
I realised how difficult some decisions are for my parent/carer
I learnt that it can be tough being a parent/carer
I thought about the qualities I would like to have as a parent/carer
I would like to learn more about parenting skills
EXTENSION ACTIVITY: Bottle Babies – what have they learnt from the bottle baby experiment? Do they feel they’ve gained some skills and insights into parenting?

17. Leader’s Notes: Session 4
Icebreaker: Ask the group to get into a circle and to perform the following:
Sit on the floor with legs crossed and arms folded
Extend your legs, cross your ankles, lean back and support yourself with your hands on the floor behind you
Kneel on both knees and place your hands on the floor in front of you
Kneel on your right knee only, extend your right arm out to the right and turn your head to the right. Place your left hand on your left hip.
Bend your right arm and wave your right hand
Look at the floor and hold your head with your left hand
Stand and hold your right arm in front of you and hold the elbow with the left hand
Hold both arms out to the side, bend arms and point to the ceiling
Spread your legs, bend to the right side, left hand on top of the head and right hand on the waist.
Touch your toes
Straighten up and cross your arms
Sit down and cross your legs
If you don’t want to share an actual incident from your past, think of a hypothetical incident that young people will identify with e.g. being stopped from going to a party because alcohol would be available, being stopped from going to see a 16 certificate film with your friends.
CURRICULUM CHAPTERS: 3, 18
ECM OUTCOMES: Enjoy & achieve

18. Guidance Notes HOW TO USE THIS PACK:
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If you have any comments regarding this pack, or need any additional help in using it, please contact me:
SUZANNAH YOUDE: or tel: