1. Created by Kathryn Reilly
Choppy Sentences
Created by Kathryn Reilly

2. Defining Choppy Sentences
Choppy sentences are short sentences.
Choppy sentences are grammatically correct; however, having too many in a row causes the reader to lose interest.
Choppy sentences lack detail that engages the reader.
Reading choppy sentences is like riding in a car when the driver is constantly hitting the brakes; it is very jarring.

3. Choppy Paragraph Example
The baby woke. He was quiet. Then he cried. His mother got him. She fed him. He stopped crying. His mother dressed him. They went outside.
Choppy sentences lack details that maintain reader interest.
Choppy sentences lack transitions which assist the reader in moving from one idea to another.

4. Revising Choppy Sentences
When revising choppy sentences, a writer should consider what important details the reader may wish to know.
The baby woke.
How long was the baby sleeping?
What time was the baby sleeping?
How had the baby been sleeping?
Possible revisions:
The baby woke after a short afternoon nap.
At 1 p.m. the baby woke from napping.
The baby woke bright and early at 5 a.m.
After seven hours of sleep, the baby woke at 8:30 a.m.
The baby woke and babbled to himself in the crib.

5. Revising Choppy Sentences
A writer can add details before or after the choppy sentence.
She fed him
She fed him his favorite: bananas and squash.
Realizing he was hungry, the mother fed him.
A writer can also combine two choppy sentences to create a longer, detailed sentence.
He was quiet. Then he cried.
At first the baby played quietly, but then he cried.

6. Revising Choppy Sentences
If a writer realizes the text is full of choppy sentences, it is important to revise some, but not all, of the choppy sentences.
A well-written text should have a balance of short and long sentences.
Short, choppy sentences should convey an important idea or action.

7. Choppy Paragraph Revision
The baby woke. He was quiet. Then he cried. His mother got him. She fed him. He stopped crying His mother dressed him. They went outside.
The baby woke. At first he was quiet, but then he loudly cried from his crib. His mother quickly got him. Realizing he was hungry, she fed him his favorite: a banana and squash puree. With a full tummy, he smiled and stopped crying. His mother dressed him warmly and they went outside to visit the playground.

8. Choppy Sentence Review
Consider what information the reader would like to know.
Add information before or after the choppy sentence.
Consider combining two choppy sentences to create a longer, more detailed sentence.
Do not eliminate every short sentence; a text should have a balance of short, action-oriented sentences and longer, more descriptive sentences.