1. Resolving Conflict The 5 A’s Sis. Amoryn Mund Pathway GS120

2. About me… Amoryn Mund 2007 Graduate of BYU-Idaho Elementary Education
Taught in Davis County Utah for 4 years
Married, 2 daughters
Ogden, UT
Pathway GS120 Since Sept 2014

3. Resolving Conflict- The 5 A’s
Given to me when working in Elementary School
Used it with Conflicts – It worked
Read about other examples- It Works
Used it in my personal life-It works
Used it in Pathway- It works
Sharing it with you.

4. Ponder this…. Through Conflict Resolution Can we…
Avoid the “Blame Game”?
Allow opportunities to feel the Spirit?
Serve others?
Show humility?
Emulate Christ?
Through Conflict Resolution
Can we…
Avoid the “Blame Game”?
Allow opportunities to feel the Spirit?
Serve others?
Show humility?
Emulate Christ?
Lds.org

5. Actual Email from a student:
I do not understand why I have only been receiving partial credit on my post.
“I feel like my comments have more than expressed my comprehension on each subject, and I am slightly offended by the low grading on this and other posts.”
This is a copy of an actual from a student: this was written to me after he only received partial credit for the discussion board. He only posted the initial post on the discussion board with no responding posts.
I do not understand why I have only been receiving partial credit on my post.
"Working hard has helped me prepare to be a husband and father one day. It also helps me make the income that I need to survive. It gives me money for actives that I want to do for fun. Basically, I am rewarded for hard work; even if it's not with money. I have found that I am not happy when I am idle. It gets boring not working hard. Having a job and fulfilling my church callings has made me super happy. "
I feel like my comments have more than expressed my comprehension on each subject, and I am slightly offended by the low grading on this and other posts. Writing these post is very difficult for me because I suffer from dyslexia. I feel as if you simply wish for me to expand on my thoughts with statements that I believe to be implied by common sense. I don't feel like these concepts are as complex and foreign as the discussion actives set them up to be. Is it the length? We are simply asked for one paragraph;  
"A paragraph (from the Greek paragraphos, "to write beside" or "written beside") is a group of sentences with one topic. it is also a self-contained unit of a discourse in writing dealing with a particular point or idea. A paragraph consists of one or more sentences."
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6. The 5 A’s of Conflict Resolution
Admit or Acknowledge
Apologize
Accept or Adjust
Ask
Alter or Act
The 5 A’s of Conflict Resolution
Admit / Acknowledge
Apologize
Accept / Adjust
Ask
Alter / Act
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7. Admit or Acknowledge “I was wrong…” “There was a typo…”
“This is frustrating…”
“I’m sorry…”
“Not the intention…”
Often Anger is a Secondary emotion that comes so quickly that we oversee the real emotion of the moment. We should make it a goal and pray for the Spirit to help us determine what the Initial or primary emotion of the student is when they are expressing anger. By moving beyond the anger we can help to acknowledge to the student that we understand their hurt, or frustration, or confusion relating to the subject at hand.
In my experience and through my observations, I have noticed that often when we respond back to someone that is angry, by admitting or acknowledging the true emotion of the moment it can take people by surprise and even shock someone.
Example: Conflict with Teacher’s Aid at School. Pulled into the Principal’s office for a conversation. We started by having the Teacher’s Aid explain her feelings and anger towards me. I listened and when it was my turn I started by admitting that I was wrong and that I was the cause of the situation. I acknowledged her hurt feelings and that she must have been feeling so frustrated to bring it to the attention of the Principal.
Image from Men For Change, The Online Healthy Relationships Project, 1998 Retrieved from

8. Apologize Apologize (sometimes even if you were not wrong)
I’m sorry your feelings were hurt
Don’t blame
Don’t put the fault on anyone in particular.
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9. Accept or Adjust I appreciate your email
Thank you for pointing out this mistake
I understand that this could be confusing or difficult
I was wrong
Again don’t point fingers or blame
Do what we can to make it right
I appreciate your
Thank you for pointing out this mistake
I understand that this could be confusing or difficult
I was wrong
Again don’t point fingers or blame
Do what we can to make it right
Show them that you are listening and that you are willing to listen and accept their feelings as valid. Making adjustments where acceptable and necessary.
This is where that balance of mercy and justice play part for me. We have to help them but also be able to help ourselves be successful in our jobs.
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10. Ask How can I help? What would you do in this situation?
How can I change this for future classes?
Will you forgive my mistake?
What do you need from me?
What do you need from the University?
How can I help?
What would you do in this situation?
How can I change this for future classes?
Will you forgive my mistake?
What do you need from me?
What do you need from the University?
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11. Alter or Act
Go into the course and make adjustments in how you word things if needed.
Check the requirements for the course.
Ask for help if needed.
Change it for future semesters.
Go into the course and make adjustments in how you word things if needed.
Check the requirements for the course.
Ask for help if needed.
Change it for future semesters.
Moving forward what did you learn from this experience?
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12. The 5 A’s of Conflict Resolution
Admit or Acknowledge
Apologize
Accept or Adjust
Ask
Alter or Act
The 5 A’s of Conflict Resolution
Admit / Acknowledge
Apologize
Accept / Adjust
Ask
Alter / Act
clipart

13. Alma 60:2 Alma 62: 2,9 Moroni and Pahoran Lds.org Alma 60:2
“During a perilous period of war, an exchange of letters occurred between Moroni, the captain of the Nephite armies, and Pahoran, the chief judge and governor of the land. Moroni, whose army was suffering because of inadequate support from the government, wrote to Pahoran “by the way of condemnation” (Alma 60:2) and harshly accused him of thoughtlessness, slothfulness, and neglect.
Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then he responded
Alma 62: 2, 9“Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart” (Alma 61:2, 9).”
Lds.org

14. Matthew 5:43-44 And 46-48 Scriptural Insights clipart
“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. …
“For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
“And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect”
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15. 1 Nephi 19:9 Scriptural Examples Lds.org
The Savior is the greatest example of how we should respond to potentially offensive events or situations.
“And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men” (1 Nephi 19:9).
Lds.org

16. “One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say… “it mattereth not.”
Elder Bednar
“One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say… “it mattereth not.”
Elder Bednar
Lds.org

17. Ponder this…. Through Conflict Resolution Can we…
Avoid the “Blame Game”?
Allow opportunities to feel the Spirit?
Serve others?
Show humility?
Emulate Christ?
Through Conflict Resolution
Can we…
Avoid the “Blame Game”?
Allow opportunities to feel the Spirit?
Serve others?
Show humility?
Emulate Christ?
Lds.org

18. Refer back to Syllabus or Instructions
Tools to use
Prayer
Time
TGL and Teaching Group
Objective individual
Refer back to Syllabus or Instructions
Tools to use before beginning:
Prayer
Time
TGL and Teaching Group
Objective individual- someone that is outside of the situation. Remember to respect names and situations
Refer back to Syllabus or Instructions
Refer to Pathway Support Center
Refer to the Gathering Missionaries

19. Important Mindset
We are all children of our God. While we are all unique and different we have been taught to love one another.
Would you ever purposefully say or do something to hurt someone that you love?
Do you think that someone that loves you, would ever do or say something that would purposefully hurt you?
To be offended is a personal choice. As instructors we participate in a delicate balance of choosing not to be offended by others, and also managing appropriate communication.
We are all children of our God. While we are all unique and different we have been taught to love one another.
Would you ever purposefully say or do something to hurt someone that you love?
Do you think that someone that loves you, would ever do or say something that would purposefully hurt you?
To be offended, is a personal choice.
“And Nothing Shall Offend Them” Elder David A. Bednar October 2006 General Conference
Possible discussion topic: there are times when we need to reestablish standards/etiquette for students: how to communicate politely, what types of communications are appropriate to an instructor/professor, etc. I’m wondering if you could share anything or ask an open-ended question to get instructors to share about where that line is. How do we balance that need with the idea of not focusing on blame?

20. Conflict Resolution: Recap and Practice
Admit or Acknowledge
Apologize
Accept or Adjust
Ask
Alter or Act
By using these 5A’s when faced with a sensitive situation, we can avoid the ‘blame game’, allow opportunities to feel the Spirit, serve others, show humility, and emulate Christ.
Google images

21. References
Bednar, D. A. (2006) Nothing shall offend them. Ensign of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Retrieved from
Smith, J. (2013) 5 A’s for Resolving Conflict. Prezi Presentation. Retrieved from
Jones, T. S., Batton, J., Wallis, S., Warters, W. Dieringer, L., & Prutzman, P. (n.d.), Conflict Resolution Education: Working with anger in educational settings. CRETE Project. Retrieved from

22. Example #1
 "Hi my name is and I am having some problems with your online class. Your set up is very confusing and honestly I have no idea what assignments I am supposed to be doing. I find myself spending 3 or 4 hours dedicated to just searching ILearn to figure it out and I'm positive I'm still missing things. This has been very frustrating. I am currently a full time student on campus as well as taking two online classes. I do not have time to spend 5+ hours searching for what I am supposed to do in your class. I was hoping that maybe you would consider putting your assignments, readings, and discussion boards on the due soon board in ILearn. This would make it easier to be sure what we are supposed to do. Thank you."

23. Example #2
Some of the stuff I got marked off I did but couldn't do like my attendance I was there and did my work but can't go back and mark that I was there. I am very overwhelmed and am used to being able to get on do my work and get my grade I feel like I am doing my work but am frusterated because now I am not getting credit for showing up. Like I was there I would've done everything I don't know I feel like I'm far behind and am considering just dropping by out. Cause everything I do every week and never missed is locked and I can't do and missed like a ton of point. I don't know this is probably inappropriate for college course but I have a lot of personal things going on and feel like if I do my work show for class and try my best I should get a good grade but because I didn't read an update I am way behind and lost all motivation for complete assignments I missed even though I did them I couldn't mark them compete or take the survey or anything cause I didn't read that I had to post I don't have any questions. I'm a hard worker and looking at the percentages it's not even possible for me to get an a in the class due to my week being a mess.  Late work is late work but I don't feel it's fair to throw an curve ball requiring a post that is not graded in order to participate  in class on week 2. I get im just a online student and your just grading my work but to put road blocks up to being able to do my work is frusteratinng cause I wanted to do my work even with a funeral mid week. 
The main thing that is frustersting me is I went to a funeral and rushed axxross town to ensure I didn't miss class. So to log on and not beable to change my attendance and get marked absent when I was there is disappointing and makes me mad because of I had a choice I would have stayed at the wake and not left so to see a 0/40 and 7% of my over all grade gone because I couldn't click to a different page is beyond upsetting n

24. Example #3
I do not understand why I have only been receiving partial credit on my post.
"Working hard has helped me prepare to be a husband and father one day. It also helps me make the income that I need to survive. It gives me money for actives that I want to do for fun. Basically, I am rewarded for hard work; even if it's not with money. I have found that I am not happy when I am idle. It gets boring not working hard. Having a job and fulfilling my church callings has made me super happy. "
I feel like my comments have more than expressed my comprehension on each subject, and I am slightly offended by the low grading on this and other posts. Writing these post is very difficult for me because I suffer from dyslexia. I feel as if you simply wish for me to expand on my thoughts with statements that I believe to be implied by common sense. I don't feel like these concepts are as complex and foreign as the discussion actives set them up to be. Is it the length? We are simply asked for one paragraph;  
"A paragraph (from the Greek paragraphos, "to write beside" or "written beside") is a group of sentences with one topic. it is also a self-contained unit of a discourse in writing dealing with a particular point or idea. A paragraph consists of one or more sentences."