1. Self Image The mental picture you have of yourself and the various roles you play: your public self and your private self.

2. Self-Esteem Your self worth. How much you value yourself.

3. Self Concept A perception of who we are. Self concept includes self-image and self-esteem. Self concept is always changing.

4. Relational Self The process of constantly becoming who you are as a result of togetherness with others.

5. Reflected Appraisal Theory: (Looking Glass Self) We use our “significant others” as mirrors to determine our self worth. Significant Others: we look up to them and value their opinions.

6. Social Comparison Theory We compare our talents and abilities with others to see how we “measure up.” Appropriate reference group: people who are similar to us. Inappropriate reference group: people who are superior to us in ability.

7. Self Fulfilling Prophecy We think we will fail, so we fail. Or, we think we will succeed, so we do. Pygmalion Effect: Someone treats you as if you will fail (or succeed) and you do.

8. Emotional Flooding: Your emotions take over and flood into other areas of your life. You “display” your emotions, often using “You” statements

9. What is self talk? Debilitative Thoughts: You talk to yourself in a negative way, until your emotions boil over and you react! Facilitative Thoughts: You tell yourself that you are the one in control, use dual perspective, think about the mature way you will act – not react!

10. Advantages of I-Statements I-Statements are honest. I-statements decrease defensiveness. You are in charge of your own emotions! You stay in control. Self disclosure: If you open up, they may open up, too.

11. What is the difference between thoughts and feelings? Thoughts: Our intellectual ideas Feelings: Our emotions I feel this is the wrong thing to do. I think this is the wrong thing to do. Our thoughts can stir up our emotions until they boil over!

12. Emotional Intelligence You control yourself and express your emotions in a mature way. No one can make you feel an emotion; you are responsible for your own emotions!