1. Module 38: Prosocial Relations © 2013 Worth Publishers

2. Ways that we all can get along Attraction Conflicts, Peacemaking Altruism

3. What factors make two people feel attraction, wanting to be together? Social Relations Understanding Attraction

4. Proximity/Exposure and Attraction  Encounters once depended on proximity, working or living near the other person, but the key factor here is exposure.  The Mere Exposure Effect: Merely seeing someone’s face and name makes them more likeable. Your are more likely to develop attraction to someone you’ve seen a lot.  This effect probably helped our ancestors survive: What was familiar was more trustworthy, safe.  In the modern age, thanks to mirrors and photos, the face we are most familiar with is our own; so we are now attracted to people that look like us. Implications Study: Voters preferred a candidate whose picture incorporated the voter’s features.

5. Physical Attractiveness Once proximity affords contact, the next most important thing in attraction is physical appearance. People who are rated as physically attractive: 1.Become the objects of emotional attraction. 2.Are seen as healthy, happy, successfully, and socially skilled... 3.However, 4.Are not any happier than the average person, 5.Do not have higher self-esteem, in fact mistrust praise as being about their looks.

6. Who is rated as physically attractive?  Standards vary from culture to culture and from time to time.  However, some aspects do cross place and time (suggesting evolutionary influence):  Men seek apparent youth and fertility  Women seek maturity, masculinity, affluence  Also attractive: Nice people, and loved ones.

7. Birds of a feather flock together? Opposites attract?  We already have seen: We like those who share our features.  We also enjoy being around people who have similar attitudes, beliefs, humor, interests, intelligence, age, education, and income.  We like those who have similar feelings, especially if they like us back. Similarity and Attraction

8. Once again, what factors make two people feel attraction, wanting to be together? Proximity Physical attractiveness similarity Social Relations Understanding Attraction

9. Often starts with attraction, or friendship Then often has a phase of Passionate Love Grows into Compassionate Love Made closer by Equity and Self- Disclosure Held together by positive interaction, support Romantic Love

10. Passionate Love A state of strong attraction, interest, excitement, felt so strongly that people are absorbed in each other Two-factor theory of emotion 1.Physical arousal plus cognitive appraisal 2.Arousal from any source can enhance one emotion or another, depending upon how we interpret or label the arousal

11. Misattribution for the causes of arousal The “Rickety Bridge” experiment Painful shocks, running on treadmill 11

12. A deep, affectionate attachment we feel for those with whom our lives are intertwined.

13. Keys to a Lasting Love Relationship  Equity: Both giving and receiving, sharing responsibilities, with a sense of partnership  Self-Disclosure: Sharing self in conversation increases intimacy  Positive Interactions and Support: Offering sympathy, concern, laughs, hugs

14. Altruism Unselfish regard for the welfare of other people; Helping and protecting others without need for personal gain, doing it because it is the right thing to do, often despite personal risk or sacrifice. Altruism became an important focus of social psychology after the Kitty Genovese incident in Queens, NY in 1964.

15. Social Relations: Altruism/Helping Bystander Intervention When there is someone apparently suffering or otherwise in need of help, how do people make a decision to help? Attention:Appraisal:Social Role: Taking Action:

16. Social Relations: Altruism/Helping Bystander Action: Social factors Why are there sometimes crowds of people near a suffering person and no one is helping?  Because of the Bystander Effect: Fewer people help when others are available. Why does the presence of others reduce the likelihood that any one person will help? 1.Because of diffusion of responsibility: The role of helper does not fall just on one person. 2.People in a crowd follow the example of others; which means everyone waiting for someone else to help first. 3.After a while, people rationalize inaction: “if no one is helping, they must know he’s dangerous or faking it.”

17. Social Relations: Altruism/Helping Other factors promoting helping Bystanders are most likely to help when: The person we might help:  appears to be in need, deserving of assistance.  is a woman, and/or is similar to us in some way.  is in a small town or rural area. Meanwhile, upon encountering this person:  We are feeling some guilt, and/or just saw someone else trying to help.  We are not in a hurry, and/or not preoccupied.  Strongest predictor: We are in a good mood.  http://youtu.be/z4S1LLrSzVE

18. Norms/ Processes Influencing Helping Social Exchange: We help if it brings more benefit (social approval, reduced guilt) than cost (risk, inconvenience). Reciprocity: We help those who have helped us... Although someone must go first. Social responsibility: Others depend on us to help, to go first; it’s the right thing to do.

19. Conflict and Peacemaking Conflict: A perceived incompatibility in goals, ideas, and actions between people or groups. The elements of conflict are the same at all levels. People become deeply involved in potentially destructive social processes that have undesirable effects.

20.  Social Traps: Situations in which pursuing self- interest makes things worse for everyone: e.g. an arms race, or overfishing [Flip side: these are situations in which cooperation pays off.] Social Relations: Conflict and Peacemaking Social Traps:

21. Social Trap: The Cheater’s Game Rules: If you both choose A (“compromise”), you both win a little; If just one chooses B (“cheat”), that person wins a lot; if both choose B, no one wins anything. Challenge: Trying to arrange to cooperate.

22. Mirror Image Perceptions of an Enemy People in conflict form diabolical images of one another. These distorted images are ironically similar, so similar in fact that we call them mirror - image perceptions.

23. Does it help to put two conflicting parties in close contact? It depends. If the contact is noncompetitive and between parties of equal status, it usually helps. However, mere contact is not always enough. 23 Contact How can we transform feelings of prejudice, aggression, and conflict into attitudes that promote peace?

24. 24 If given superordinate goals, shared goals that override differences among people and require their cooperation, can help people overcome conflict. Likewise, a shared predicament, such as a fearful situation, can help conflicting parties to work together. When real life conflicts become intense, a third-party mediator may facilitate much-needed communication. http://youtu.be/6QGNxRGgBwM Cooperation and Communication

25. 25 When understanding and cooperation are most needed, they are also least likely. Charles Osgood advocated Graduated & Reciprocated Initiatives in Tension-Reduction (GRIT): This is a strategy designed to decrease international tensions. One side recognizes mutual interests and initiates a small conciliatory act that opens the door for reciprocation by the other party. Conciliation

26. Peacemaking: The 4 C’s  Contact: exposure and interaction  familiarity  acceptance  connection  Cooperation: finding shared goals (superordinate goals), not just focusing on the incompatible goals  Communication: sometimes with mediators  Conciliation: Gestures that reduce tension by showing intension to build alliances rather than winning conflicts. Smile. Apologize.