1. Goals of Parenting (Kagan, 1976)
Make child feel valued and loved
Help child develop own views and become autonomous
Teach child to internalize appropriate behavior standards, to regulate their emotions and to master skills and abilities valued by society

2. Teaching Children Emotional Regulation (Gottman’s Emotion Coaching)
Children’s emotions recognized by adult
Children’s emotions are listened to empathetically, validated and labeled
Adult teaches child appropriate expression of emotion and help find solutions to problems

3. Fostering Positive Emotions
Take the lead
Saying yes
Take turns, Strengthen weak links
Following
Name with approval
Support initiative
Encourage independence
Give responsibility as young as possible
Empower them to make decisions
Share pleasant moments

4. Why Young Children May Misbehave
Child lacks knowledge or experience.
Child has forgotten the standards.
3) Child has inconsistent standards.
4) Child is physically ill or psychologically incapable of behaving as expected.

5. Why Older Children May Misbehave
5) Child is trying to get Attention.
6) Child is trying to gain Power and / or Revenge
7) Child is feeling Inadequate – too helpless to improve situation

6. Disciplining Children
Defined as “measures that help children to control impulses and internalize appropriate behavior”
Should begin around age 2

7. To Spank or Not to Spank?
Research has found those who were spanked have lower self-esteem, are more aggressive, more likely to be delinquent and be violence in adult intimate relationships
Often gets immediate results BUT research shows it is an obstacle to internalization (Kids learn not to pull cat’s tail because it’s wrong, but because they could get in trouble)

8. Social Learning Theory
By observing consequences of other people’s behavior, we perform same behavior to obtain same consequences

9. Corporal Punishment and Modeling Aggressive Behavior
Strassberg Study on Learned Aggressive Behavior
275 4 to 6 year olds, all SES’s
IV = type of parental discipline in home (survey)
DV = child’s aggressive behavior on playground (observation)

10. Types of Discipline in Strassberg’s study
9% of parents used no physical discipline (No Spank Group)
72% had used spanking as form of discipline (Spank Group)
19% had used spanking and hitting as form of discipline (Spank & Hit Group)

11. Types of Aggression Observed in Strassberg’s study
Instrumental Aggression – unintentionally harming another
Reactive Aggression – intentionally harming another in response to a perceived wrong
Hostile Aggression – intentionally harming another

12. Results of Strassberg’s Study
Who used Instrumental Aggression?
No Spank, Spank, Spank & Hit Groups equally likely to commit

13. Results of Strassberg’s Study
Hostile Aggression
Almost always committed by Spank & Hit Group

14. Results of Strassberg’s Study
Reactive Aggression
Spank Group- Twice as likely to act this way than No Spank
Spank & Hit Group - 3 times as likely to act this way than No Spank

15. Internalizing an Aggressive Model
“It’s ok to use force and threats of force to get what you want.”

16. Spanking guidelines Never spank infants or teenagers
Never spank when you are angry
Spank rarely & only as last resort

17. Behavior Modification
If you want to change behavior, change the consequences of behavior
Reinforcement – process that leads to target behavior increase

18. Positive Reinforcement
Present desirable thing after target behavior
Ex. Give dessert for eating all dinner

19. Negative Reinforcement
Remove undesirable thing after target behavior
Ex. Take away chores for eating all dinner

20. Time Out from Reinforcement
A temporary period when someone will receive no rewarding consequences

21. Positive Punishment Present undesirable thing after target behavior
(Ex. Give chores for hitting sister)

22. Negative Punishment Remove desirable thing after target behavior
Ex: Take away toy after hitting sister

23. Behavior Modification
Shaping - Reinforce successive approximations to target behavior

24. Behavior Modification
Fading – Systematically, gradually reduce value of reinforcer for target behavior (behavior should not decrease)
Extinction – Abruptly provide no more reinforcers for previously reinforced behavior (behavior should decrease)

25. Is it wrong to fight in front of your kids?
No, it’s good for them to see adults resolve conflict successfully and move on.
But! It is bad for them to witness angry standoffs or prolonged fighting.

26. Should parents apologize when they make a mistake?
YES YES YES! Recognize, Apologize, and Reconcile (Dreikurs)
Children learn no one is perfect
Children learn to learn from mistakes by watching parents do so

27. If Spanking is the “only thing that works”
Use Premack principle to find a reinforcer that will work by watching how children spend free time
Correctly apply time out
Be consistent with rules making sure other caregivers are too