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Helping Students Create Stronger Sentences Strengthening Sentences through Sentence Imitating, Sentence Combining, and More
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Write an imitation of this sentence: “ Imitation is a dangerous cliff above the cavern of plagiarism. ” --adapted from Noden, Image Grammar, 70. “ Imitation is a dangerous cliff above the cavern of plagiarism. ” --adapted from Noden, Image Grammar, 70.
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My imitations 1) Writing is a slippery slope into the valley of contemplation. 2) Writing is an arduous trail up to the peak of perspective. 1) Writing is a slippery slope into the valley of contemplation. 2) Writing is an arduous trail up to the peak of perspective.
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How about this one? Imitation emulates the techniques that produced the art; plagiarism attempts to duplicate the entire art. --adapted from Noden, Image Grammar, 70. Imitation emulates the techniques that produced the art; plagiarism attempts to duplicate the entire art. --adapted from Noden, Image Grammar, 70.
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Let’s look at parts and words: Imitation emulates the techniques that produced the art; that produced the art; plagiarism attempts to duplicate the entire art. --adapted from Noden, Image Grammar, 70. Imitation emulates the techniques that produced the art; that produced the art; plagiarism attempts to duplicate the entire art. --adapted from Noden, Image Grammar, 70.
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Start Simpler When selecting sentences, I recommend choosing those that the student would have no problem understanding -- just as for the books used yesterday to demonstrate voice comprehension was already there, so students could focus on getting at the voice. When selecting sentences, I recommend choosing those that the student would have no problem understanding -- just as for the books used yesterday to demonstrate voice comprehension was already there, so students could focus on getting at the voice.
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Start Simpler Sentences for Zola and Abby: 1. Once upon a time in a house by the sea lay an old woman, a special old woman who had the gift of magic. (A Gift of Magic) 2. She loved to stroke the little pig, to feed him, to put him to bed. (Charlotte's Web) 3. Because he was so small, Stuart was often hard to find around the house. (Guess!) Sentences for Zola and Abby: 1. Once upon a time in a house by the sea lay an old woman, a special old woman who had the gift of magic. (A Gift of Magic) 2. She loved to stroke the little pig, to feed him, to put him to bed. (Charlotte's Web) 3. Because he was so small, Stuart was often hard to find around the house. (Guess!)
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Use Close or Loose Imitation Model: Model: Calvin and Meg walked carefully / across the vegetable garden / picking their way through rows / of cabbages, beets, broccoli, pumpkins. Student imitation: Latina and Damonia stumbled blindly through the tunnels trying to find their way back to Portal House were Annedru, Shade, and the rest of their friends were waiting. (From A Wrinkle in Time, Two 16-year-olds, spelling not changed) Model: Model: Calvin and Meg walked carefully / across the vegetable garden / picking their way through rows / of cabbages, beets, broccoli, pumpkins. Student imitation: Latina and Damonia stumbled blindly through the tunnels trying to find their way back to Portal House were Annedru, Shade, and the rest of their friends were waiting. (From A Wrinkle in Time, Two 16-year-olds, spelling not changed)
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Use Close or Loose Imitation Model: Ahead of them / was a small apple orchard / bounded by a stone wall, / and beyond this the woods / which they had walked that afternoon. Student imitation: Behind us / loomed the Forbidden Forest/ guarded by Hagrids hut /and surrounded by Fangs drool, which he had safely deposited there earlier. (A Wrinkle in Time, Two 16-year-olds. They left out the apostrophes. Arg!) Model: Ahead of them / was a small apple orchard / bounded by a stone wall, / and beyond this the woods / which they had walked that afternoon. Student imitation: Behind us / loomed the Forbidden Forest/ guarded by Hagrids hut /and surrounded by Fangs drool, which he had safely deposited there earlier. (A Wrinkle in Time, Two 16-year-olds. They left out the apostrophes. Arg!)
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Grading -- Don’t! It’s Level 1. My response (in color) to students I know well: The Moose and anvil (ha! ha! I should have known you'd work that in!) combined dangerously in front of my eyes, (you could us an -ing word here -- See the phrase if you’d like to imitate more closely) where they created a wand, a scar, and The Dark Lord.
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Do Look for Favorites She could see the wind stir the treetops, for the surface of the Hills seemed to ripple beneath the blue sky; the breeze, when it slid through her window, smelled of leaves. -- The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley p. 4 She could see the wind stir the treetops, for the surface of the Hills seemed to ripple beneath the blue sky; the breeze, when it slid through her window, smelled of leaves. -- The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley p. 4
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Sentence Chunking Once upon a time/ in a house/ by the sea/ lay an old woman,/ a special old woman /who had the gift /of magic. (A Gift of Magic) Every sort of animal,/ from bears to black beetles,/came sporting or shambling or scurrying/along their way,/and the high sky/ that had been as sandy and arid as the soil itself,/now blossomed with birds. (The Last Unicorn) Once upon a time/ in a house/ by the sea/ lay an old woman,/ a special old woman /who had the gift /of magic. (A Gift of Magic) Every sort of animal,/ from bears to black beetles,/came sporting or shambling or scurrying/along their way,/and the high sky/ that had been as sandy and arid as the soil itself,/now blossomed with birds. (The Last Unicorn)
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Sentence Unscrambling 1. MODEL: When I awoke, there were snowflakes on my eyes. Charles Portis, True Grit Parts to unscramble: a.in the sky b.there was a rainbow c.after the rain stopped 1. MODEL: When I awoke, there were snowflakes on my eyes. Charles Portis, True Grit Parts to unscramble: a.in the sky b.there was a rainbow c.after the rain stopped
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Sentence Unscrambling 2. MODEL: Drawn by the scent of fish, the wild dogs sat on the hill, barking and growling at each other. Scott O ’ Dell, Island of the Blue Dolphins Parts to unscramble: a. yelping and trembling with delight b. covered with mud from the yard c. the frisky puppy rolled on the carpet 2. MODEL: Drawn by the scent of fish, the wild dogs sat on the hill, barking and growling at each other. Scott O ’ Dell, Island of the Blue Dolphins Parts to unscramble: a. yelping and trembling with delight b. covered with mud from the yard c. the frisky puppy rolled on the carpet
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Unscrambling an Imitation - 1 MODEL: Steve Randle was seventeen, tall and lean, with thick greasy hair he kept combed in complicated swirls. --S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders Note: Draw (or have the students draw) models from the books, stories, etc. you are reading. MODEL: Steve Randle was seventeen, tall and lean, with thick greasy hair he kept combed in complicated swirls. --S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders Note: Draw (or have the students draw) models from the books, stories, etc. you are reading.
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Unscrambling an Imitation - 2 Parts to unscramble: a.someone had painted b.the puppy was pitiful c.with black stripes d.small and scrawny e.with matted tan fur Parts to unscramble: a.someone had painted b.the puppy was pitiful c.with black stripes d.small and scrawny e.with matted tan fur
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Unscrambling an Imitation - 3 Steve Randle = The puppy was was seventeenpitiful tall and lean = small and scrawny with thick greasy hair = with matted tan fur he kept combed = someone had painted in complicated swirls = with black stripes Steve Randle = The puppy was was seventeenpitiful tall and lean = small and scrawny with thick greasy hair = with matted tan fur he kept combed = someone had painted in complicated swirls = with black stripes
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Recognizing Matching Structures Model: Jimbo danced /all over the place, /clapping his paws, /squalling, /grunting, /and turning somersaults. Wilson Rawls, Summer of the Monkeys a. Eventually, the team became better, unified, victorious. b. Jason skated during the finals, doing figure eights, swirling, leaping, and wowing the crowd. Model: Jimbo danced /all over the place, /clapping his paws, /squalling, /grunting, /and turning somersaults. Wilson Rawls, Summer of the Monkeys a. Eventually, the team became better, unified, victorious. b. Jason skated during the finals, doing figure eights, swirling, leaping, and wowing the crowd.
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Imitating Paragraphs and Sentences See the back of your handout to try this out. Select one or more of the paragraphs or sentences that are openers for famous books and stories. Imitate to create a beginning or beginnings for something you’d like to write.
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Decombining 1 Model: Mr. Poe sighed and looked down at Sunny, who was biting a fork and listening closely. -- Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) The Bad Beginning Model: Mr. Poe sighed and looked down at Sunny, who was biting a fork and listening closely. -- Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) The Bad Beginning
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Decombined 2 a. Mr. Poe sighed. b. Mr. Poe looked down at Sunny. c. Sunny was biting a fork. d. Sunny was listening closely. a. Mr. Poe sighed. b. Mr. Poe looked down at Sunny. c. Sunny was biting a fork. d. Sunny was listening closely.
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Decombining and Combining 3 Try this one, matching with Snicket ’ s: a. Mr. Nicholes smiled. b. Mr. Nicholes high-fived a student. c. The student was picking up trash. d. The student was chuckling quietly. Try this one, matching with Snicket ’ s: a. Mr. Nicholes smiled. b. Mr. Nicholes high-fived a student. c. The student was picking up trash. d. The student was chuckling quietly.
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Combining The assignment can be either open or closed/cued The assignment can be either open or closed/cued
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Combining A sentence from Hemingway’s “Big Two-Hearted River,” has been decombined/deconstructed. Combine the following sentences to create a single sentence. Hemingway used 25 words, but you don’t have to use the same number of words, unless you’re competitive. A sentence from Hemingway’s “Big Two-Hearted River,” has been decombined/deconstructed. Combine the following sentences to create a single sentence. Hemingway used 25 words, but you don’t have to use the same number of words, unless you’re competitive.
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a) Nick looked down into the water. b)The water was clear. c)The water was brown. d)The brown color came from the pebbly bottom. e)As Nick looked down he watched the trout. f)The trout were keeping themselves steady in the current. g)They kept themselves steady with their fins. h)Their fins were wavering. a) Nick looked down into the water. b)The water was clear. c)The water was brown. d)The brown color came from the pebbly bottom. e)As Nick looked down he watched the trout. f)The trout were keeping themselves steady in the current. g)They kept themselves steady with their fins. h)Their fins were wavering.
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Here’s Hemingway’s Nick looked down into clear, brown water, colored from the pebbly bottom, and watched the trout keeping themselves steady in the current with wavering fins.
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Could Sentence Composing Strategies Be Applied to Other Content Areas ? MATH? If you are like most people,/ your earliest experiences/in mathematics/ were computing answers/to arithmetic problems. Many students/have difficulty/when they first begin/ studying algebra/because they have the belief/that all/of math/is about determining answers. MATH? If you are like most people,/ your earliest experiences/in mathematics/ were computing answers/to arithmetic problems. Many students/have difficulty/when they first begin/ studying algebra/because they have the belief/that all/of math/is about determining answers.
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Could Sentence Composing Strategies Be Applied to Other Content Areas ? HISTORY The word Renaissance (REN uh sahns) comes from a French word meaning “rebirth.” It is the time in Europe from the 1300s to the late 1500s. This was a time of the rebirth of ancient Roman ideas. It was also a time of new ideas. HISTORY The word Renaissance (REN uh sahns) comes from a French word meaning “rebirth.” It is the time in Europe from the 1300s to the late 1500s. This was a time of the rebirth of ancient Roman ideas. It was also a time of new ideas.
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Could Sentence Composing Strategies Be Applied to Other Content Areas ? SCIENCE Matter is all around you. Matter is the substance that makes all things. Scientists define matter as anything that has weight and takes up space. SCIENCE Matter is all around you. Matter is the substance that makes all things. Scientists define matter as anything that has weight and takes up space.
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Imitating Poetry Denise Overfield in What Have You Lost, poems selected by Naomi Shihab Nye Returning to the West: Mountain Legend The mountain voice rises, channels into valleys and between our bodies. Our trail’s fragile lines are blown through dirt and rocks and grass, blown beyond what we can see.
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Inspired by... Poems Much depends upon The pigskin ball With leather all over Beside the wide receiver. Zac Smith
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Inspired by... Poems -- Cat 1 Cat -- Retold by Jared Dalton In the living room My cat curls up Lolls her limp Tongue, yawns. Rests her head
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Inspired by... Poems -- Cat 1 Carefully next to Her tail in a ball. Perks up, alert Swipes with Sharp claws At my outstretched finger.
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Inspired by... Poems -- Cat 3 Blinks, rolls On her side. Yawns, closes Her eyes, sleeps All afternoon In the sun’s warmth.
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Inspired by... Poems Hall Pass by Ms. Dorsey so much depends upon a paper hall pass signed by the teacher as I squirm. Hall Pass by Ms. Dorsey so much depends upon a paper hall pass signed by the teacher as I squirm.
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The Assignment BY MS. DORSEY so much depends upon a sheet of lined paper resting in a wire basket upon the teacher’s desk.
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