2. 1. Trust 2. Togetherness 3. Expressiveness 4. Staying Power 5. Security 6. Laughter 7. Support 8. Physical Affection 9. Personal Growth 10. Respect

3. 1. Finding fault 2. Attempts to change partner 3. Changes in behaviour – due to pressures from partner 4. Jealousy 5. Lies, manipulates 6. Fearful of expressing your feelings 7. Abusive behaviour – verbal, emotional, physical, sexual 8. Self esteem diminished

4. 1. Why is it sometimes difficult for someone to acknowledge that they are in an unhealthy relationship? 2. Why do people stay in unhealthy relationships? 3. If someone is in an unhealthy relationship what can she/he do about it?

5.  A public health and safety condition which results from individual, social, economic and institutional disregard for basic human needs.  Includes physical and no-physical harm that causes damage, pain, injury or fear.

6.  Finances  Substance abuse  Infidelity  Family history  Circle of friends  Anger  Pressure  Life circumstances  Individual state of health  Coping strategies  stress

7.  Sexual – pressure to go beyond limits  Verbal – name calling, put downs  Physical – groping, hitting  Emotional – controlling, put downs

8.  Sexual – assault, date rape  Verbal – name calling, jokes-degrading, profanity  Physical – stalking  Emotional – bullying, degrading jokes

9.  Physical – mugging, swarming, gang beating  Emotional – phone calls  Verbal – racial slurs

10.  Slapping, breaking in  Keying cars, vandalism

11.  Physical – self mutilation  Emotional – putting yourself down - blaming yourself

12.  S/he may want to get serious quickly  S/he is jealous and possessive  S/he checks up on you often and is constantly around, often showing up where you are  S/he is controlling and bossy  You feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” and are afraid of making your partner angry  S/he is unpredictable and has sudden mood changes  S/he uses guilt trips  Blames you for relationship problems  S/he apologize for violent behaviours promising never to act violent again.

13.  Afraid their parents will make them break up with partner  Embarrassed and/or ashamed  Afraid of getting hurt  Convinced it’s their fault  Afraid that the person they tell will blame them or will be disappointed  Confused-they may think this is what a relationship is all about  Afraid of losing privleges like being able to stay out late

14.  Listening without judging or blaming  Telling your friend that you believe him or her  Telling you friend that it is NOT his or her fault  Telling you friend that you are always there to listen if he or she wants to talk about it  Reminding your friend of all the friends and family who care about him or her  Letting your friend know that you are worried about his or her safety  Telling your friend that you want to help him or her talk to a parent/guardian or other trusted adult right away  Offering to go with your friend to talk to an adult  Helping your friend make a safety plan

15.  Confront your friend and name abusive behaviours  Talk about consequences of violence  Encourage your friend to get help  Be there for your friend when he/she accept responsibility and gets help

16.  Stay in touch with friends and involved with activities  Keep important phone numbers with you at all times  Set up a code word with friends or parents for danger  Talk to police and/or shelter about your situation  Try not to be alone with your dating partner  When with your partner, keep in mind: › Warning signs that things will become abusive › Make sure someone knows where you are and when you’ll be home › Always have change for the phone If you decide to break up, do it in a public place

17.  Consider: 1. letting people know the relationship is over 2. Pressing charges and/or getting a restraining order 3. Changing your schedule and the routes you take 4. Using a buddy system for getting around