1. SOCIAL PROBLEM: Tools for Effective Decision-Making © Statewide Parent Advocacy Network 35 Halsey Street Newark, NJ 07102 (973) 642-8100 www.spannj.org

2. SOCIAL PROBLEM- SOLVING STEPS What are your feelings? What is your problem? What is your goal? What are possible solutions? What are the consequences for each solution? What’s your best solution? How can you try it? What happens when you try it? What else might work?

3. Social Problem-Solving Look for signs of different feelings

4. Feelings How are you feeling? Are you nervous? Angry? Scared? Disappointed or frustrated? Intimidated? Unsure?

5. Social Problem-Solving Tell yourself what the problem is

6. The Problem What would you say the problem is? Phrase it as “I have a problem. I feel…” not ‘You make me feel…”

7. Social Problem-Solving Decide on your goal

8. Your Goal What do you want to have happen? What’s your goal? What outcome do you want? What’s your main priority?

9. Social Problem-Solving Brain- storm as many solutions as you can

10. Brainstorm Solutions What are all the different ways you can think to reach your goal? What else could you do?

11. Social Problem-Solving For each solution, think of all the things that might happen next

12. Consequences For each solution, think of all the things that might happen next. If you did that, what might happen?

13. Social Problem-Solving Choose your best solution

14. Solution Which of your ideas is best for you? Which idea has the best chance of meeting your goal?

15. Social Problem-Solving Plan it and make a final check

16. Think it through What will have to happen so you can carry out your idea? What could go wrong or block your plan?

17. Social Problem-Solving Try it and re- think it

18. Implementation What happened when you tried out your plan? What did you learn that might help you next time?

19. STOP Procedure Say “Stop” to interrupt your behavior & “Keep calm” to prompt your breathing

20. STOP Procedure Take a look. Identify two things quickly: The problem - “What’s going on” - The goal - “What needs to happen; what is my goal?”

21. STOP Procedure Options: Brainstorm ideas; accept the first workable one

22. STOP Procedure Plan and practice a better way of approaching the problem or the situation

23. Critical Skills Sort out your feelings and the feelings of others around you

24. Critical Skills Put the problem into words Refocus to be more hopeful & positive so problems won’t seem unsolvable

25. Critical Skills Get the attention of others without under- mining your credibility

26. Critical Skills Develop a habit of thinking of alternatives See that there are solutions, that problems can be solved

27. Critical Skills Understand consequences more fully See the consequences of your acts on yourself and others

28. Critical Skills Describe problems for what they are Remember your positive goal Don’t get overwhelmed by thinking of negative consequences

29. Critical Skills Choose a course of action Stick with it Don’t undermine yourself!

30. Critical Skills Plan and check the details ahead of time Anticipate the obstacles Increase follow- through

31. Critical Skills Understand signs of feelings in yourself and others Overcome ‘hurdles” like the fear of failure or defeatism

32. Social Problem-Solving: Building Skills to Resolve Conflicts