1. Parenting in the 21 st century; the roles and responsibilities of parents. By Shakirah Olajobi PGD (Guidance and counselling), M.Ed (Educational Psychology) CEO, Brainy Educare Services, Lagos

2. Outline of presentation Definitions;  What is Parenting  What is effective parenting?  What is peculiar to the 21 st century? Parenting  The transitions  Parenting styles  Basic Elements  The endangered species?  The game plan  Lets be the change that we seek Chat House

3. The life of a young elephant It is trainable It has been primed It never crosses its mind to make another attempt

4. What is parenting? Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.

5. Features:  Full time job  No formal training  No vacation or breaks  No one-method solves it all  No preparation!

6. b Parenting can sometimes be like being lost and alone in the desert

7. Effective Parenting A style of raising children that increases the chances of a child becoming the most capable person and adult he or she can be.

8. The 21 st century challenge

9. The transitions Adult Teenager Pre- teen Child

10. 2 Why are they peculiar? They have conflicts in their head. They are egocentric and feel they can handle any situation. They always feel attacked especially by their parents comment They believe their parents have suddenly become old fashioned They believe so much in their peers and believe that adults don’t understand them They want financial freedom They feel over-protected and therefore wants less restrictions from their parents. They gravitate toward the very things you fear and dislike

11. a They want their privacy and enjoy being on their own, especially when at home. They begin to pull away from you, their life style suddenly changes and they develop ‘attitude’; they question your authority They may become disrespectful and unruly They pick up funny and sometimes unhealthy habits They want to explore very dangerous grounds without giving a thought for the consequence They want to start relationships with the opposite sex. They want to choose their meals or they want to eat incessantly They become overly concerned about their appearance

12. Years of Crises Physical Changes Emotional changes Intellectual changes Psychological changes HORMONES

13. There is therefore a need for self identification ?

14. Parenting styles Authoritarian Parents Authoritative Parents Permissive Parents Nonchalant Parents

15. Basic Elements Unconditional Love Communication Discipline

16. The endangered specie? Being Africans; ◦Our past can’t help but hunt us ◦With new challenges, should come new strategies. Being 21 st century Muslims; ◦Breeding confident children requires going the extra mile. ◦We need to provide exciting alternatives for our kids.

17. Just like the young elephant. GAME PLAN I Catch them young………

18. Moving parent-teenager relationship to the next level THE GAME PLAN II Now that they are already grown…… Trust Compr omise Persuasi on

19. Lets be the change that we seek Seek help as soon as possible; don’t wait to have big crisis in your hands. Co-operate with your spouse Join a parent group or support group where you can share ideas and rub minds on becoming even more effective.

20. Parting words “We put so much effort into leaving a better world for our children that we forget to leave better children for this world” -anonymous

21. Jazakumllahu Khairan! Thank you for listening; Parents are the greatest of teachers.