1. Defense Mechanisms (FS Psychology and Counseling Glossary) Denial Repression Reaction Formation: a tactic for reinforcing repression by adopting behaviors that are the opposite of the repressed behaviors Suppression

2. Defense Mechanisms (cont’d) Displaced Aggression Projection Identification: taking on personality traits of another person Regression Sublimation

3. Difficult Situations Winning Ways Chapters 19-25

4. “Fight” (Wolfelt in Director 2000) In times of conflict you can take 2 positions: 1) digging in your heels and believing you are right 2) desiring to learn and understand what is motivating the other’s behavior

5. Recommendations evaluate conflict-management styles identify and plan strategies positive feedback confront problem situations at once invite comments humor and humility encourage dissent appropriately review the value of the relationship

6. Recommendations (cont’d) clarify know your “buttons” “Listen twice before speaking once.” saving face ego “devil’s advocate” consequences opinion of others

7. Oxford Study (2005) 208 mortuary students Mental well-being is tied to 2 essential factors: 1) perceiving life with purpose 2) being engaged in meaningful work

8. Findings “meaningful” not necessarily tied exclusively to an external reward spiritual activities and disciplines have a significantly positive effect on both factors students with more than 3 years experience demonstrate higher perceptions of both factors

9. Characteristics of Stress and Burnout (Wolfelt) 1)exhaustion and loss of energy 2)irritability and impatience 3)cynicism and detachment 4)physical complaints and depression 5)disorientation and confusion 6)omnipotene and feeling indispensible 7)minimization and denial of feelings

10. “Striking the Balance” (Wolfelt 2000) (Figure 22-2 Canine page 302 balance is important to a joyful life use of time is key to a balanced life time cannot be borrowed or stretched learn to slow down and achieve more life balance: – changed perception – “work smarter not harder” – set priorities effectively

11. Managing Personal Time 1) do not over-commit and under- perform 2) make use of your prime time 3) learn to delegate effectively 4) build in time for play 5) disconnect from technology occasionally

12. Managing Family Time 1) schedule family time 2) be available and listen 3) give time, not just material things 4) keep the romance alive 5) model respect for each other

13. Managing Spiritual Time 1) establish daily quiet time 2) seek spiritual growth 3) discover your “life mission” 4) stay in touch with nature Balance is possible…..not easy……but possible and well worth it!!!!!