1. Personal Growth and the Human Search for Meaning What is personal growth? What are existential concerns? Why do I need to get to know myself better? How do I get to know myself better? Chapter 1

2. What is personal growth?

3. Personal Growth Personal growth is a process of psychological development that moves us toward maximizing our full potential.Personal growth is a process of psychological development that moves us toward maximizing our full potential. We grow by getting to know ourselves.We grow by getting to know ourselves. One of the ways this can be accomplished is by spending time alone and having a “dialogue within”.One of the ways this can be accomplished is by spending time alone and having a “dialogue within”. We also learn about ourselves through our interactions with other people, by trying to understand them and be understood by them.We also learn about ourselves through our interactions with other people, by trying to understand them and be understood by them. Psychological development improves our relationship with ourselves, which in turn enhances our relationships with other people.Psychological development improves our relationship with ourselves, which in turn enhances our relationships with other people.

4. Personal Growth, continued Human beings are born with a drive to explore their surroundings and satisfy their curiosity.Human beings are born with a drive to explore their surroundings and satisfy their curiosity. In former times, our physical survival depended on it.In former times, our physical survival depended on it. Today, striving maintains our psychological health, even when survival isn’t an issue.Today, striving maintains our psychological health, even when survival isn’t an issue. To refuse to move forward and accept that being alive means facing challenges, is to hang back, give up, and hide from life.To refuse to move forward and accept that being alive means facing challenges, is to hang back, give up, and hide from life. In doing this, we let ourselves down, and we know it.In doing this, we let ourselves down, and we know it.

5. Each of us has an drive to explore our world.

6. Personal Growth, continued The specific direction of any particular person’s development can’t be specified.The specific direction of any particular person’s development can’t be specified. What we consider to be growth for one person may not be the same as progress for another.What we consider to be growth for one person may not be the same as progress for another. For example, we may feel that a particular individual has made progress when he or she settles down and becomes more conscientious in his or her undertakings.For example, we may feel that a particular individual has made progress when he or she settles down and becomes more conscientious in his or her undertakings. For another person, personal growth may involve loosening up, becoming more spontaneous, and less perfectionistic.For another person, personal growth may involve loosening up, becoming more spontaneous, and less perfectionistic.

7. Personal Growth, continued Regardless of the direction we choose, having one seems to be important for us.Regardless of the direction we choose, having one seems to be important for us. The direction we take is guided by our goals and dreams, our vision of the future.The direction we take is guided by our goals and dreams, our vision of the future. Having a purpose in life gives us a reason to go on.Having a purpose in life gives us a reason to go on. Of course, our goals may evolve over time, and therefore change somewhat as we grow older.Of course, our goals may evolve over time, and therefore change somewhat as we grow older. Even so, having goals, even if only for the time being, enables us to focus and build momentum.Even so, having goals, even if only for the time being, enables us to focus and build momentum. It also enables us to distinguish between the activities that are compatible with our life purpose and those that are more-or-less distractions.It also enables us to distinguish between the activities that are compatible with our life purpose and those that are more-or-less distractions.

8. Personal Growth, continued Goals supply direction, motivation, and feedback. Consider this analogy: Your life could be like a jet going 600 mph, but lost. What good does all that speed do you?

9. Personal Growth, continued Even though each person’s path in life is to some extent unique, when we get to the bottom of things, we find that at heart we all want the pretty much the same things in life.Even though each person’s path in life is to some extent unique, when we get to the bottom of things, we find that at heart we all want the pretty much the same things in life. For example, we want to be happy and feel that our lives have a meaning or purpose.For example, we want to be happy and feel that our lives have a meaning or purpose. In the same way, we can make some generalizations about what’s happening when a person moves in the direction of greater psychological development.In the same way, we can make some generalizations about what’s happening when a person moves in the direction of greater psychological development.

10. Personal Growth, concluded Generally, a person shows personal growth when he or she becomes more competent, more productive and creative, more perceptive, insightful, and understanding; more knowledgeable, prudent, and discerning, and achieves good personality integration.Generally, a person shows personal growth when he or she becomes more competent, more productive and creative, more perceptive, insightful, and understanding; more knowledgeable, prudent, and discerning, and achieves good personality integration. Personal growth will enable us to achieve our goals in life, whether they are to get better grades, to have more interesting careers, obtain a comfortable financial status, or enjoy a satisfying love relationship.Personal growth will enable us to achieve our goals in life, whether they are to get better grades, to have more interesting careers, obtain a comfortable financial status, or enjoy a satisfying love relationship.

11. The only way is forward. The hobbits left their comfortable shire for an unwanted adventure that changed their lives forever. The hobbits left their comfortable shire for an unwanted adventure that changed their lives forever.

12. Existential Concerns Existentialism is a branch of humanistic psychology formed around the idea that human beings are set apart from other species by their superior intelligence.Existentialism is a branch of humanistic psychology formed around the idea that human beings are set apart from other species by their superior intelligence. Our impressive intelligence has a down side, however, in that it allows us to be aware of some painful realities.Our impressive intelligence has a down side, however, in that it allows us to be aware of some painful realities. These realities are referred to as “existential concerns” or predicaments that we all of share because of the simple fact of our existence.These realities are referred to as “existential concerns” or predicaments that we all of share because of the simple fact of our existence.

13. Existential Concerns, continued Erich Fromm (1955) listed the need for a sense of identity as one existential concern.Erich Fromm (1955) listed the need for a sense of identity as one existential concern. Our search for identity involves asking such questions as:Our search for identity involves asking such questions as: “Who am I?” “Where do I fit in?” “Where am I going?” “Why am I here?”

14. Existential Concerns Irvin Yalom (1980) provided a set of four existential concerns:Irvin Yalom (1980) provided a set of four existential concerns: 1.We must face the prospect of our own death and confront our fear of it. 2.We must find or create our own meaning in life. 3.We must face the fact that we are ultimately alone. 4.We must understand that freedom implies responsibility for the choices we make.

15. Existential Concern: Death Anxiety Each of us has to face our own mortality.Each of us has to face our own mortality. Not only do we have to accept the fact that we’ll eventually die, but we also have to deal with the reality that it could happen at any moment.Not only do we have to accept the fact that we’ll eventually die, but we also have to deal with the reality that it could happen at any moment. If we confront the time-limited nature of our existence, we’ll be motivated to make the most of the time we have.If we confront the time-limited nature of our existence, we’ll be motivated to make the most of the time we have.

16. Each of us must face our mortality.

17. Existential Concern: Finding a Meaning in Life Each of us needs to find our own meaning in life.Each of us needs to find our own meaning in life. We don’t feel fulfilled merely by surviving, by filling our bellies and getting plenty of rest.We don’t feel fulfilled merely by surviving, by filling our bellies and getting plenty of rest. We are curious; we need stimulation, “food for thought”.We are curious; we need stimulation, “food for thought”. A strong sense of personal meaning is related to satisfaction with one’s life.A strong sense of personal meaning is related to satisfaction with one’s life.

18. We need for our lives to have meaning.

19. Existential Concern: Isolation We seem to have an inborn desire to relate to and feel a sense of belonging with others.We seem to have an inborn desire to relate to and feel a sense of belonging with others. Intimacy with others can be highly rewarding, but there are some things it cannot give us.Intimacy with others can be highly rewarding, but there are some things it cannot give us. No matter how close we feel to others, we must face some psychological hardships alone.No matter how close we feel to others, we must face some psychological hardships alone. We must learn what we cannot get from others, but must give to ourselves.We must learn what we cannot get from others, but must give to ourselves.

20. Each of us is ultimately alone.

21. Existential Concern: Freedom & Responsibility Many of us avoid responsibility for our actions in an attempt to escape blame and shame.Many of us avoid responsibility for our actions in an attempt to escape blame and shame. Being responsible for our behavior makes us feel anxious.Being responsible for our behavior makes us feel anxious. The problem with this tactic is that when we blame others or outside forces for our predicaments in life, we can do nothing about them.The problem with this tactic is that when we blame others or outside forces for our predicaments in life, we can do nothing about them.

22. Existential Concern: Freedom & Responsibility Some of us avoid commitments because we fear that by making them, we’ll lose the freedom that we prize.Some of us avoid commitments because we fear that by making them, we’ll lose the freedom that we prize. At first glance, freedom might seem to be in conflict with commitment.At first glance, freedom might seem to be in conflict with commitment. If we make a commitment, then we are not as free as before.If we make a commitment, then we are not as free as before. Yet, freedom is the ability to choose and decide, so what good is freedom if it is never exercised?Yet, freedom is the ability to choose and decide, so what good is freedom if it is never exercised?

23. When we exercise our freedom, we bear responsibility for the consequences.

24. The Demands of Society To what extent are we able to exercise our freedom to choose what is best for us? Psychoanalysis –Freud believed that humans are by nature irrational and destructive unless socialized Behaviorism –Rewards and punishments shape human behavior (Skinner) –Maladaptive -any behavior that works against the person’s survival interests Humanism –Behavior is the result of the positive motive of self- fulfillment Dispositional –Human disposition is the result of our genetic makeup

25. Victimization –Transforming a temporary setback into a victim identity in life in order to get by on the offerings of others who may feel sorry for us –Do you feel we bear some responsibility for what happens to us? –Advantages/ Disadvantages to playing “the victim” Advantage- Off the hook, feel innocent, gain attention of others, control others through guilt Disadvantage- projecting blame on others or environment –“When we view ourselves as only having been acted upon, rather than as participants in the events of our lives, we discount our influence over the results we get” –Look for our own participation in the outcome of our lives

26. Being Proactive Being proactive involves taking the initiative in some activity rather than passively waiting to see what happens and then reacting to it.Being proactive involves taking the initiative in some activity rather than passively waiting to see what happens and then reacting to it. Proactive people tend to view themselves as capable and effective.Proactive people tend to view themselves as capable and effective. They are used to seeing their efforts pay off with success.They are used to seeing their efforts pay off with success.

27. Being Proactive It’s healthier for us not to view ourselves as being passively acted upon by the external environment.It’s healthier for us not to view ourselves as being passively acted upon by the external environment. We should be able to get more of what we want out of life if we make plans and implement them.We should be able to get more of what we want out of life if we make plans and implement them. Taking charge of our lives requires us to accept the weight of responsibility for our actions, a burden that many of us would prefer to avoid.Taking charge of our lives requires us to accept the weight of responsibility for our actions, a burden that many of us would prefer to avoid.

28. Making Decisions Making decisions is one of the ways we take a proactive stance in life.Making decisions is one of the ways we take a proactive stance in life. Even poor decisions aren’t generally fatal, and they provide us with feedback so we can make better decisions further down the road.Even poor decisions aren’t generally fatal, and they provide us with feedback so we can make better decisions further down the road.

29. Making Mistakes Becoming aware of hindsight bias should help us be more relaxed about being fallible.Becoming aware of hindsight bias should help us be more relaxed about being fallible. Setbacks and goof-ups are a normal part of the learning process.Setbacks and goof-ups are a normal part of the learning process. The old saying, “nothing ventured, nothing gained” seems to be an appropriate motto.The old saying, “nothing ventured, nothing gained” seems to be an appropriate motto.

30. Why become more self-aware? Self-knowledge enables us to use our strengths and compensate for our weaknesses.Self-knowledge enables us to use our strengths and compensate for our weaknesses. Self-knowledge helps us find goals that will be fulfilling.Self-knowledge helps us find goals that will be fulfilling. Self-knowledge helps us feel less defensive around others, since they won’t tell us things about ourselves that surprise and even sometimes shock us.Self-knowledge helps us feel less defensive around others, since they won’t tell us things about ourselves that surprise and even sometimes shock us.

31. How to Become more Self-Aware In general, the willingness to share things about oneself, to be relatively transparent rather than secretive is associated with mental health.In general, the willingness to share things about oneself, to be relatively transparent rather than secretive is associated with mental health. Self-disclosure is the royal road to intimacy, and intimacy fosters mental health.Self-disclosure is the royal road to intimacy, and intimacy fosters mental health. Self-disclosure is also an important vehicle for self-understanding, since other people tend to reflect back to us what we are communicating (verbally and non-verbally) in ways that surprise us.Self-disclosure is also an important vehicle for self-understanding, since other people tend to reflect back to us what we are communicating (verbally and non-verbally) in ways that surprise us.

32. Activity Toilet Paper Game

33. Your Turn! The relationship between freedom and responsibility is that: The relationship between freedom and responsibility is that: a.Freedom is something we’re born with, whereas responsibility is bestowed on us as we mature. b.When we exercise our freedom, we must accept the consequences for the choices we make. c.Freedom is an illusion, since our choices are determined by our past experiences, whereas responsibility for our lives is real. d.Freedom is a part of our birthright, and responsibility is something we seek to take on to test our mettle. e.Both freedom and responsibility are only for the courageous.

34. Your Turn! The relationship between freedom and responsibility is that: a.Freedom is something we’re born with, whereas responsibility is bestowed on us as we mature. b.When we exercise our freedom, we must accept the consequences for the choices we make.* c.Freedom is an illusion, since our choices are determined by our past experiences, whereas responsibility for our lives is real. d.Freedom is a part of our birthright, and responsibility is something we seek to take on to test our mettle. e.Both freedom and responsibility are only for the courageous.

35. Review What is Personal Growth? How do we grow? What are existential concerns and which five did we consider? What is the relationship between freedom and responsibility?

36. Question of the Day Take out a sheet of paper, put your name on it and answer the following question in a brief paragraph. Turn in for credit. What are existential concerns and which five did we consider?

37. Personal Reflection Answer the Personal Reflections questions from Chapter 1 p. 22 in your text # 1- 20. Turn in at the beginning of the next class meeting for credit. Late assignments will not be accepted.

38. Personal Growth and Existential Concerns End of Presentation