1. GEORGE W. BUSH JOHN KERRY COLIN POWELL RALPH NADER PAT BUCHANAN RUSH LIMBAUGH MARTHA STEWART JOHN LENNON M. LUTHER KING JR. BILL CLINTON DR. SEUSS ERNEST HEMINGWAY AL GORE BILL GATES CAPTAIN KIRK BARBARA WALTERS ARISTOTLEKARL MARX SIGMUND FREUD ALBERT EINSTEIN COLONEL SANDERS Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road?

2. GEORGE W. BUSH Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground regarding this chicken.

3. JOHN KERRY Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Although I originally voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

4. COLIN POWELL Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

5. RALPH NADER Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

6. PAT BUCHANAN Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

7. BILL CLINTON Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. And what is your definition of chicken, anyway?

8. AL GORE Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? I invented the chicken!

9. MARTHA STEWART Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

10. JOHN LENNON Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Imagine all the chickens crossing the road together…in peace.

11. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

12. RUSH LIMBAUGH Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross!

13. DR. SEUSS Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken went across the road. But as for the reason, I've not been told.

14. ERNEST HEMINGWAY Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? The chicken crossed the road to die in the rain. Alone.

15. BILL GATES Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? I have just released eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

16. BARBARA WALTERS Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

17. ARISTOTLE Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

18. KARL MARX Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? It was an historic inevitability that the chicken would cross the road.

19. CAPTAIN KIRK Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? The chicken crossed the road to boldly go where no chicken had ever gone before.

20. SIGMUND FREUD Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

21. ALBERT EINSTEIN Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

22. COLONEL SANDERS Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? I missed one?