1. Definition of Elaboration Elaboration means... – To tell the reader more and answer the reader’s questions using Specific words Onion-like layering of vivid sensory details (related to sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) Specific strategies, for example: being specific, and using anecdotes, definitions, examples, descriptions, quotations, statistics, facts, etc.

2. Elaboration answers questions for the reader. My teacher has helped me in many ways. In what ways has your teacher helped you?

3. Elaboration answers questions for the reader. My teacher has helped me to better understand the scientific method, and how ecosystems work, and what scientists actually really do. How has your teacher helped you to better understand these things?

4. Elaboration answers questions for the reader. My teacher has helped me better understand the scientific method by having me develop a hypothesis, then devise and run a test of that, and write up conclusions based on the experiment and what I observed. She’s had me do research (including taking water samples and cataloguing wildlife and plants) on a local lake’s ecosystem, and directed me to additional resources online and in our library to help me write my research report. Finally, she’s brought in actual scientists to talk with the class about how they use science every day and what they really do, such as researching the effects of global warming and advising companies on how to reduce their carbon footprints and still remain profitable by making better use of existing technologies and creating new, more efficient ones.

5. What does elaboration look like? ANECDOTES – An anecdote is a short narrative inserted into an essay that develops an idea or argument. This sounds like... Hey, I remember the time when my history teacher had us all … Once when I was in middle school, my math teacher …

6. Develop your point with an anecdote. My uncle coached my Little League team, and he taught me to persevere through difficulties and to strive to maintain a positive attitude. I remember one time when we were losing, and it was the 8 th inning. Everyone was getting discouraged, and then he said, “Time to rally! You’ve done it before and you can do it again now. You know this. Dig deep. Now get out there and turn this game around!”

7. What does elaboration look like? EXAMPLES – provide more specific information about an idea. This sounds like... My Campfire leader taught us a lot about nature. For example, we went out into the woods and … My minister has taught me so many valuable lessons, such as: how to persevere through tough times with patience, how to listen fully and without judgment, and how important it is to stand up for fairness and justice …. My fourth grade teacher made learning a lot of fun. For instance, he had us learn about shapes, physics, and construction by having us build traps for leprechauns …

8. Develop your point with an example/anecdote. My freshman English teacher helped me develop as a writer. For example, when I was struggling with an essay she assigned us to do on a short story, I came in during Grizzly Period to get help from her, and she asked me how I decided on which quotations to use. I admitted I had just sort of randomly chosen some pieces of text from the pages and she told me that the foundation of any essay on a work of literature is the evidence–that is, the quotations–to back up the thesis. If I choose those carelessly or at random, they’re probably not going to help me make my point very effectively. She told me to go back and find pieces of text to quote that actually related directly to my point I was trying to make, and I did. When I brought her my new quotations, she asked me questions like, “Now, how does that quotation help to show or prove your point?” and I’d have to explain each one. Then she’d say, “Now take what you just told me and write that down after your quotation to tell the reader how that quotation proves the thesis, but without using the terms ‘quotation’ or ‘thesis’ and without referring to yourself. Remember, the quotations, the evidence, that’s the foundation of the whole essay. If your foundation is weak nothing you build on top of it will stay stable; it’s going to fall apart.” I took that advice to heart and my essay wound up a whole lot better than it was before. I apply that advice to all my essays now and they are definitely the better for it.

9. What does elaboration look like? QUOTATIONS – words someone says that can help support your idea or argument. “It’s okay to write garbage. You can turn trash into art. Whatever you write is clay. Then you sculpt it. A lump of clay is ugly, but you need to have that to be able to shape that into something beautiful. If sound editors and mixers can take the raw product of Britney Spears’s voice and turn it into a listenable, catchy, radio- ready song that people like, I can help you turn your garbage writing into something people will enjoy reading. It is ALL about the re-writing and revising.” My teacher once told me:

10. What does elaboration look like? DESCRIPTIONS – ways to create vivid images for the reader. The sound of my phone cut through the silent class, and I anxiously and furtively dug into my backpack, trying to grab it and shut it off before Mrs. Schuman, the writing teacher, could zero in on the source of the noise. Pawing through assignments, gum wrappers, and various pieces of detritus, my hand darted around the deep pockets of my backpack. “Must … shut off … phone,” I thought, desperately, knowing my and my phone’s fates if she traced the noise back to me.

11. Develop your point with description. My second grade art teacher’s frizzy and graying brown hair was pulled up and held in a bun on the top of her head with a paintbrush stuck through it. On other days it might be a chopstick. She often had to remove her glasses and clean them as they got smudged with paste, glitter, and paint. Her smock was always covered in every color of paint imaginable, often in the form of little second-grader-sized handprints. She bustled around the room, praising our often crude efforts and encouraging us to “Use as much of the space as possible!” on our papers or as she called them, our “canvases.”

12. Show rather than tell Telling: My art teacher’s room was a mess, as usual. Showing: Paper maché projects lay drying on the shelf-tops while other sculptures in progress crowded the counters. Glitter and paint pockmarked the floor and desktops. Paintbrushes remained in the sink, waiting to be thoroughly rinsed off. Stacks of drawings adorned the little free remaining spaces. One could spot broken pieces of crayon scattered here and there.

13. Definition of Telling and Showing Telling is the use of broad generalizations. Showing is the use of facts, statistics, examples, anecdotes, vivid sensory details, quotations/dialogue, and so on, to develop, persuade, explain, or enliven a story. It “paints a picture” with words, or better yet, helps the reader see a “movie” playing in his or her mind.

14. Be specific. Your word choices do not have to be – big words – fancy words – words from a thesaurus (although those can help improve word choice) Remember, to elaborate powerfully and effectively, you need to be SPECIFIC. Use concrete, specific details.

15. Elaboration within a Sentence Sentences can be expanded by adding elaboration. Sentences can be combined to provide elaboration. TELL ME MORE...

16. Appositives Add information to a single sentence.

17. Appositives An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that follows another noun or pronoun that renames it or adds information. An appositive is usually set apart from the sentence by commas. My social studies teacher made us dance or sing “I’m a Little Teapot” in front of the class if we arrived late to class. Add an appositive and it becomes: My social studies teacher, a stickler for punctuality who has a unique sense of humor, made us dance or sing “I’m a Little Teapot” in front of the class if we arrived late to class.

18. Appositives answer the reader’s questions. My teacher is making me do my assignment over again. Which assignment? My teacher is making me do my assignment, the essay on To Kill a Mockingbird, over again.

19. Some Samples My culinary arts teacher, who is an expert baker, insists that we observe all hygiene and health and safety rules in the kitchen. My science teacher, also my basketball coach, insists that we learn how to sing our school’s fight song.

20. Combine sentences to form an appositive. We can combine the two following sentences into one power- packed sentence and delete unnecessary words. My history teacher has us play the roles that different kinds of people played during Medieval times. My history teacher also insists that we call him “Your Majesty” during the unit on Medieval Europe. During the unit on Medieval Europe, my history teacher, who has us play the roles that different kinds of people played during Medieval times, insists that we call him “Your Majesty.”

21. Prepositional Phrases A prepositional phrase adds information and elaboration by answering questions a reader may have. Prepositional phrases are often used to answer questions about position, place, location, or time. (examples of prepositions - by, of, for, on, in, to, under, with, through, beside, before, after, during…)

22. Prepositional phrases add elaboration Example My science teacher often attends our home games. My science teacher often attends our home games during the school year with her GP gear on for all to see to show us she supports us and cares about us as people, not just as students in her class. When, in what manner, and why does your teacher often attend your home games?

23. Layering Elaboration A thoughtful writer layers one sentence after another. Each new sentence adds to or develops the thought... like rings around a bull’s-eye.

24. Every sentence and detail fits with the rest of the topic... like a set of nesting dolls.

25. Listing vs. Layering Don’t add boring, list-like sentences just to make the paragraph longer. REMEMBER – length doesn’t always mean quality elaboration. THIS IS LISTING My skiing instructor has taught me many things. He has taught me how to carve. He’s taught me how to Christie. He taught me how to snowplow. He’s taught me how to do a parallel turn. He’s taught me how to do a wedge turn. He’s taught me how to Schuss. He’s taught me how to slalom. He’s taught me how to tuck and how to get air and twist.

26. This is layering My ski instructor has taught me most of what I know about skiing. Thanks to him, I can Schuss straight down a smooth and steep slope of sheer white snow while tucking to go even faster. If I need to come to a quick stop I can now carve, Christie, or snowplow as needed. If I don’t want to stop but merely change direction, I can do a parallel or wedge turn. Those come in handy for doing a slalom through the moguls; now I can even get some air off of the bumps and do a twist while airborne. I’m not up to somersaulting head over heels just yet, but I know that with his help I’ll get there someday. TOPIC

27. Remember … layering looks like Sentences thoughtfully placed with the one main topic threaded through them... purposely explaining with the needs of the audience in mind.