1. Kidsave Support Session Week 4

2. Check-In 2012

3. Meeting place at the airport: Please designate a meeting place at the airport and plan to arrive three hours before departure. Host families should assist in keeping their host child in line for check in along with their ONE bag to check. Only host families, Kidsave staff/translators, and volunteers should be at the airport to say goodbye to the children unless authorized by the chaperone.

4. Preparation for flight back to Colombia: All kids must wear their SM t-shirts on the plane home. NO EXCEPTIONS! All bags will be checked. Families can purchase a carry on-sized suitcase for their child/ren (for manageability) Each child’s bag should have a yellow ribbon tied somewhere easily visible

5. Preparation for flight back to Colombia: Families must attach a label on the bag with child’s name and the Kidsave office address in Bogota. Children should carry a backpack that they can comfortably carry (only one!). Items to include in backpack: Photo Album, sweater, snacks, favorite toy

6. A Variety of Emotions We may see tears We may see excitement about returning to all that is familiar We may see withdrawal – kids unable to say goodbye

7. ICBF maintains that it is not in the best interest of the children to tell them before they leave that they are going to be adopted and they are adamant about this. This is to protect the children. Why it is NOT in the best interest of the children to be told that there is a family wanting to adopt them: Not all kids will leave with a potential adoptive family There is no guarantee that those moving forward will adopt We don’t want to get the kids hopes up Children need time to process and discuss with their psychosocial teams their visit and future plans. Families must continue to reinforce with their host child that they have enjoyed getting to know them and have really enjoyed the summer visit.

8. Deciding to Adopt - As a potential adopter: take the two weeks after the child leaves to decompress and discuss the decision as a family - As an advocate: encourage families to take time - Remind them that there is no “Holding” of children and there is no rush to commit

9. Discussing adoption - As a potential adopter or an advocate speaking with families, need to consider: - Time - Financial Commitment - Child’s needs - Has he/she expressed a desire for a specific type of family? - Will your community be able to meet the child’s needs? - Other Family Members

10. Shifting from “prospective adopter” to “advocate” - Remember: not every family is the right fit for every child - Be prepared to get questions about the decision from close friends and family who may have known your original intentions - Consider what type of family would be best for the child and continue advocating in those circles

11. Dealing with your feelings - Other families are interested, but you want to adopt - As the trip comes to a close and you are unsure if the child has a potential adoptive family

12. Keep your Community Coordinator and Kidsave informed! You don’t get to make the decision regarding the family - Your ideas about what family is best for the child may differ from what the child’s social worker and ICBF think

13. Behaviors you might be seeing Kids disengaging Sadness Difficulty sleeping Not following direction/house rules or routines The child may seem ambivalent about returning Don’t take this personally, the child may be using this ambivalence to avoid feelings of loss

14. Dealing with Grief and Loss - Recognize that grief after is a natural emotion and allow yourself time to process these feelings - Think of ways (writing in a journal, praying, etc.) that you can use to help cope with the loss -Realize that the child may be grieving as well

15. Dealing with ambivalence -The child may seem ambivalent about returning - Don’t take this personally, the child may be using this ambivalence to avoid feelings of loss

16. Don’t Promise! - As the child prepares to leave, you may want to make future promises to help put the child at ease, but this can be detrimental as we never know what may happen when the child returns

17.  Host families moving forward to adopt can submit a Request for Ongoing Communication  Host families whose child does not have a family pursuing adoption can submit a Request for Ongoing Communication  Host families whose child has a prospective adoptive family CANNOT have ongoing communication

18. Families wishing to adopt should let their coordinator know two weeks after the conclusion of the program and the coordinator must inform Kidsave staff. After the two week period (Monday, August 13th) families can submit a Letter of Intent to the Instituto Colombiano de Bienestar Familiar (ICBF) Letters of Intent must be submitted to ICBF in Spanish – the Spanish and English versions must be submitted to Delta Kirkland at Kidsave at deltak@kidsave.org.deltak@kidsave.org Send a signed hard copy of the Spanish version of your Letter of Intent to Dra Ilvia Ruth Cardenas via Federal Express or DHL (see address on Letter of Intent).

19. Concerns about your family, your child, the program Overall, how well has the child adjusted? How are you doing? Suggestions for program improvement Q & A