1. PIUS ADEJOH

2.  By the end of this session, participants should be able to:  explain the role of men in combating gender based violence.

3. “ Any act of gender-based violence that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life."

4.  GBV may be perpetrated by males and females alike.  However, global evidence indicates that men are the majority perpetrators of GBV against girls and women and also against fellow men.  But they can and should be actors against the vice.

5.  A lack of identification with the victim.  A perception of the situation as one that calls for violence.  A decision to act violently  The means of doing harm to the other person.

6.  There are several roles men and boys can play to eliminate violence against women in the society  Already there are some men who are against violence against women and young girls.  However, they are not speaking out publicly  Thus there is the need not only to get men involved but also expand the number of men actively taking action in their communities to end violence against women

7.  Men and boys can do one of the following:  Working on themselves  Serving as a mentor or a good role model  Taking Action as a neighbour, friend, bystander  Men/boys as allies

8.  This is the foundation. Charity they say, begins at home  Behavioural change should start at home, within the family.  This is because you can not offer what you do not have  Men/boys should start asking themselves the following questions:  How do I treat the immediate people (women/girls)around me- mother, mother- inlaw, wife, sister, daughter, niece?

9.  Am I in any way controlling, manipulative or abusive?

10.  Treat the women in our lives with respect  Equalize relationships  Resist sexism and violence  Inform yourself  Resist “settling”  Take action

11.  Serving as a mentor or a good role model is a vital and effective way men and boys can preach the message of stopping violence against women/young girls  Role models set examples for others to emulate. Thus a man and young boy who exhibits respect for the bodily integrity of young girls and non violent options for resolving a conflict with the feminine gender, can influence those around him positively

12.  Mentors are also role models as people look up to them  They are fathers, uncles, bosses, coaches, community leaders, religious leaders etc

13.  A bystander can be anybody- neighbour, friend, class maye, co-worker,team mate, or even some one unknown to you  As a bystander, you are not the target of the violent act, but you are affected by the violence, because you happen to be cl;ose to the site of the occurrence.  Often times, men witness acts of violence against women both in public and private places

14.  By speaking out against violence against women/young girls as a bystander, men/young boys are saying it is a socially unacceptable behaviour  They are saying the victim does not have to be my sister, friend or neighbour, before condemning her victimisation  Men/young boys as bystanders can prevent, interrupt or intervene in abusive situations

15.  Men can serve very well in this capacity, because of the several privileges they have in society, especially because of their numerical strenght in position of authority- public life and decision making  Men can influence policies and legislative changes, that can curb gender based violence

16.  Men and young boys who ally with women to eliminate violence against women, recognise the numerous benefits of gender and social equality in their own lives, and in the lives of women around them such as their mothers, daughters, sisters, wives and colleagues

17.  Male Significant others  Bystanders  Male as volunteers  Men who have perpetrated violence  Men in groups

18.  Men are potential partners capable of playing a positive role in eliminating violence against women  They need to be supported to recognise and address violence against women close to them  Opportunities also have to be created for them learn skills necessary to eliminate violence against women

19.  Encourage men to play active roles in the elimination of violence against women in the following ways: 1. Play important role in reinforcing positive social norms 2. Regard violence on any person as barbaric and inhuman not withstanding whether the person is related to you or not 3. Get support of family members to destroy out- dated and oppressive cultural values 4. Providing succour and justice to abused and violated women

20. 5. Build partnerships with support groups for abused women especially in the area of advocacy and social justice 6. Promote activities across the spectrum of prevention of VAW- promoting community education, strenghting individual knowledge and skills, educating rights keepers, fostering coalition and networks, community mobilization, influencing policy legislation etc

21.  Dialogue and Public Education a) Create forums for men and women to open up and discuss GBV. b) Engage other men for critical conversations about masculinity in order to challenge the mindset that masculinity inheres in violence. c) Develop and disseminate multi-media advocacy messages that do not blame men wholesale but appeal to them to take action against GBV.

22.  Outreach a) Mobilize men and women activists from diverse backgrounds to combat GBV. b) Identify and use strategic entry points to fight GBV e.g. religious institutions, youth and women’s groups, fishermen’s associations etc. c) Recruit men from strategic institutions such as security agencies, sports, politics and the business sector to enhance collaborative work in fighting GBV.

23.  Role Modelling a) Show through personal example that it is possible for men to be non-violent and be masculine. b) Testify about own transformation in order to influence others to change. c) Be ready to sacrifice personal comfort and take risks in fighting GBV. d) Be honest, impartial and accountable in handling GBV in order not to be compromised.

24.  Capacity Building and Support  a) Develop own and other men’s technical knowledge on gender equality and GBV.  b) Develop social support mechanisms for men fighting GBV for encouragement,  motivation and solidarity.  c) Establish links for cross-area response to GBV, experience sharing and learning.

25.  Partnership  a) Work in collaboration rather than in competition with women and women’s organizations to eradicate GBV.  b) Work with various partner organizations to provide multi-sectoral assistance to survivors e.g. medical, legal and psycho-social service providers.  c) Work with the mass media to sustain focus on and campaign against GBV.  d) Work with and assist organisations to initiate and sustain anti-GBV initiatives

26.  Behave Nonviolently  Taking individual action  Join Collective Efforts

27.  Support women or men who have been victimized ◦ Listen ◦ Believe ◦ Respect  Challenge/Care-front abusive men ◦ Set a standard ◦ Talk to your friends ◦ Hold Accountable © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

28.  Become an ally  Challenge Social Norms  Provide Information  Challenge assumptions  Use humor  Talk to other men  Join a Men’s Group  Don’t use pornography © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

29.  Start with men you know  Start with these men with where they are (not where you wish they were or think they should be)  Create points of entrée  Support their development  Invite them to do the work, not listen to a conversation

30.  Invite to be further involved  Provide resources  Connect him/them with others  Support through their learning  Provide additional support

31. Why do you want to engage men?

32.  Because they “need to get it”  Because they can be ambassadors for your organization/mission  Because they are core partners in prevention  Because they have been victimized  Because they love women or men who have been victimized  Because most men do not agree with men’s violence, yet they do nothing to challenge or stop it – so they need to be mobilised to prevent violence

33.  Because men are not born violent; they learn it and become violent because of beliefs and norms about what it is to be a man- so we need to work with men and boys to change those beliefs and norms  Men have the potential to stop violence  Gender based violence has continued despite years of anti- violence work  Men and boys listen to their peers  Decision makers and opinion leaders are mostly men

34.  1. Speak Out against violence against women and girls  The voice of men speaking against violence against women can be particularly powerful and Network of Men Leaders need to be organized around the world.  2. Create Awareness about the dangers of GBV  3. Research on the forms and extent of violence against women and girls and ways to eliminate them.

35.  4. Advocacy and Campaigns on eliminating violence against women and girls.  5. Provide services to victims of violence against women and girls including free legal aid and counseling services and shelters for victims of violence.  6. Abolition of harmful traditional practices such as FGM, widowhood practices, and other harmful practices.

36.  7. Legal reform including review of existing laws, enactment of law on violence against women and enforcement of existing laws.  8. Reform of law enforcement on issues of violence against women including awareness creation and sensitization, training, re-training and re-orientation of law enforcement officers, research and advocacy and sanctions.  Police Service Commission (2012), Domestic Violence Policy for the Nigeria Police Force.  9. Organise Network of Men leaders to support women organizations and advocate for elimination of violence against women

37.  The work of the men to men movement shows that response to GBV follows the pattern.  RESCUE  FOLLOW UP  REFERRAL

38.  This is the physical removal of the target of violence from the perpetrator and apprehension of the latter. REFERRAL  This is a system of actions through which the survivor is linked to specialized support depending on need.