1. Session 8 Communication BE a real man – God’s Way1

2.  The real man and... ◦ Week 1: a friend ◦ Week 2: his devotion to God ◦ Week 3: prayer ◦ Week 4: his marriage ◦ Week 5: real husbanding ◦ Week 6: his wife’s sin ◦ Week 7: real understanding ◦ Week 8: communication BE a real man – God’s Way2

3.  “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17, NIV84)  “With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape.” (Proverbs 11:9, NIV84)  “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18, NIV84)  “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4, NIV84) BE a real man – God’s Way3

4.  Verbal Communication  Non Verbal Communication  Circuit Jammers  Love Languages BE a real man – God’s Way4

5. Jim Burns, Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle Romance Through Affection, Warmth and Encouragement BE a real man – God’s Way5

6.  The process of sharing information with another person in such a way that the sender’s message is understood as he intended it.  Unless a the sender and receiver has come to a common meaning, they have not communication effectively  Illustration  (Wayne Mack, Your family God’s way) BE a real man – God’s Way6

7.  Be empathetic ◦ Put yourself in her shoes ◦ Difficult to accept advice if other person not understand  Listen ◦ James 1:19 – Quick to hear, slow to speak, anger ◦ Reasons for listening in Proverbs  15:31  18:13  18:15  19:20  21:28  Express your expectation ◦ Honesty, integrity, courage BE a real man – God’s Way7

8.  Need help? It is biblical ◦ “For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure.” (Proverbs 11:14, NIV84)  Schedule communication times ◦ Business/administrative/spiritual/dates  Develop problem solving plan ◦ Find the real problem ◦ List alternatives solutions ◦ Select plan of action ◦ Establish accountability ◦ Set up evaluation procedure BE a real man – God’s Way8

9. Wayne Mack, Your family God’s way – Developing and sustaining relationships in the home BE a real man – God’s Way9

10.  Much overlooked  Eyes – way we look/don’t look at each other  Arms/hands  Dress  Body language (sit/stand)  Use of time – will show values  Laugh/don’t laugh  Willingness to help BE a real man – God’s Way10

11.  Know that...  You are silently communicating ◦ Look angry but really only concentrating? ◦ Look disinterested but actually listening? ◦ Look bored but actually tired? ◦ How do these affect the other person?  You can benefit from paying attention ◦ Be honest – deny envy when we look envious? ◦ Capture every thought, bring into obedience to Christ (2 Cor 10:5)  You can misinterpret ◦ Rabbi and the priest BE a real man – God’s Way11

12. Wayne Mack, Your family God’s way – Developing and sustaining relationships in the home BE a real man – God’s Way12

13.  Disparity between verbal/non verbal comms  Overtalk ◦ Monopolising, gossip, defensive speech, takeover speech, motor mouth, badgering ◦ Sinful reasons: Pride, selfishness, control ◦ Non sinful reason: loneliness, poor listening  “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31–32, NIV84) BE a real man – God’s Way13

14.  Falsehood ◦ Lying, exaggeration, misrepresentation  Unwholesome talk ◦ Sidetracking, verbal slamming, cancellation speech, gunpowder speech, ventriloquist speech, final word speech, excessive negative talk, mind-reading speech, cotton candy  Identify jammer: ◦ Prov 12:18, Prov 17:9, Prov 10:18, Prov 13:3 BE a real man – God’s Way14

15. Gary Chapman BE a real man – God’s Way15

16. 1. Words of affirmation ◦ Tongue has power of life and death (Prov 18:21) ◦ Appreciation, compliments, gratitude, affirmation when not present 2. Quality Time ◦ Attention, togetherness, quality conversation, quality activities 3. Receiving Gifts ◦ Physical, self 4. Acts of Service ◦ House work, cooking, errands 5. Physical Touch ◦ In passing, intimacy The five love languages - Gary Chapman BE a real man – God’s Way16

17. 1. What does your spouse do (or fail to do) that hurts you most deeply? Opposite of that is probably your primary love language 2. What have you most often requested from your spouse? That is probably your primary love language 3. In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse? That is most probably your primary love language BE a real man – God’s Way17

18.  Your Family God’s Way. Developing and sustaining relationships in the home – Wayne Mack  The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman  Creating an intimate marriage. Rekindle romance through affection, warmth and encouragement – Jim Burns BE a real man – God’s Way18

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