1. Medical College of Wisconsin May 4, 2005 Sarah L. Bonewits
Do Men & Women Really Negotiate Differently?: Communication and Gender Issues in the Workplace
Medical College of Wisconsin
May 4, 2005
Sarah L. Bonewits

2. Communication & Gender Issues in the Workplace
Negotiation & Gender
Research on Gender Differences
Socialization
Carol Gilligan Moral Reasoning
Language Use
Organizational Implications of Gender
Rationality vs. Emotionality
Systemic issues
Seeking Productive Responses

3. A case in salary
You are offered a job for 88,000 with a bonus of 6,000 which is slightly below what you would expect for the position. Two of your friends and colleagues have received job offers for a similar position but with a salary of 94,000 and a one time starting bonus of 10,000. You are told that the average starting salary for your position is 90,000. You have a verbal, undisclosed offer for a higher salary but at an organization that is not as attractive – what do you do?

4. Women, Men & Negotiation (Barron, 2003)
3 Themes in Negotiation Styles
Worth
Entitlement
Proving self

5. Worth Know my worth Unsure of my worth Men 85% Women 15% Men 17%

6. Entitlement Entitled to more than others
Women 30%
Entitled to the same as others
Men 29%
Women 71%

7. Proving Self Prove myself in negotiation Prove myself on the job
Men 64%
Women 36%
Prove myself on the job
Men 17%
Women 83%

8. Gender & Negotiation
Men focus more on monetary worth while women focus on character
Men advocate for self while women advocate for others

9. Explaining Gender Differences
Socialization
Gendered expectations learned at play
How we reward men vs. women (e.g., assertiveness)
Men’s Culture vs. Women’s Culture (Deborah Tannen)
Expect men to be agentic, task oriented, self assertive; women to be communal, socially oriented, and selfless (Wade, 2001)
Process orientation vs. Goal orientation (Julia Wood)
Carol Gilligan’s Ethic of Care

10. Gender Differences in Language Use
Women
Rapport talk – relationships
Talk about private matters (family relational problems, other women, men, clothing)
More detailed color terms
Weaker expletives (oh my)
More qualifiers, disclaimers, and tag questions
Polite forms of speech
Ask more questions
Minimal responses encourage talk
Disclose more and receive more disclosure
Men
Report talk – content, decision making
Talk about public matters (e.g., sports, news)
Use stronger expletives
Fewer qualifies disclaimers, and tag questions
Interrupt more
Make more statements
Respond to women using delayed minimal responses that discourage interaction (oh, right)
Initiate topics more often
Tell more jokes
Disclose less

11. Who Gets Heard? (Tannen, 1995)
One up, one down
Asking questions
Apologies
Orientation toward “ritual” opposition
Indirectness

12. Implications of Organizational Structure & Practice
Reasonable man standard
Rationality vs. Emotionality
Women in leadership positions
Structure that supports the style
Work/life choices

13. Enabling Response Negotiation training “Critical mass” of women
Recognizing “gender triggers”
Work yet to be done…