1. 1 Communication and Conflict Management in Special Education DoDEA Center for Early Dispute Resolution (CEDR) Fort Stewart February 16-17, 2011 Anita Engiles, Dispute Resolution Specialist, CADRE Leila Peterson, Executive Director, SchoolTalk

2. 2 CADRE Priorities Promote problem solving and agreement reaching skills Implement effective dispute resolution processes Enhance state agency and parent center collaboration Assist states to implement dispute resolution provisions of IDEA Support improved state system performance Compile information and data on state systems Disseminate knowledge about dispute resolution

3. CADRE Website Exemplar Collection of Resources RAISE DataBase Symposia Gallery 2005 National Conference on IEP Facilitation 2006 National Symposium on Dispute Resolution in Special Education Español Videos and Other Resources Other Rich Media Listening Skills Understanding Interests Tale of Two Conversations and Study Guide 3

4. CADRE Activities Result in… Vibrant communities of practice State dispute resolution system improvement Compilation of research and evaluative data Improved collaboration and dispute resolution skills Reduced use of adversarial dispute resolution processes Increased use of early dispute resolution processes 4

5. Workshop Objectives Participants will gain an awareness of: the sources and dynamics of conflict different styles for approaching or managing conflict ‘listening to understand’ as an essential relationship and communication skill the difference between ‘positions’ and ‘interests’ 5

6. Workshop Objectives (cont.) Participants will become: familiar with the continuum of special education dispute resolution options, including innovative approaches to prevention and early resolution aware of skills required to promote positive parent- professional relationships and increase productive communication familiar with CADRE, The National Center on Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Special Education. 6

7. Assumptions… Conflict is a healthy reflection of a diverse and changing society. Most parent/school relationships are or can be positive and mutually respectful. Skills can be acquired and strategies implemented that facilitate productive relationships. Culture influences an individual’s perspective on conflict and how it’s most appropriately approached. Workshop participants are already skilled at communicating, negotiating and problem-solving. 7

8. CONFLICT What does the word “conflict” bring to mind? 8

9. Two Definitions of Conflict Any situation in which people have apparently incompatible interests, goals, principles, or feelings... ~~~  Expressed or repressed struggle  Two or more people  Interdependent relationship  Strong emotion  Perceived blockage of needs and/or values 9

10. Sources of Conflict 10 Data Interests Structure Values Relationships

11. Types of Conflict Data Conflicts Occur because of disagreements related to data collection, interpretation or evaluation  lack of information  misinformation  disagreement on which data is relevant  how to interpret competing assessment procedures 11

12. Types of Conflict Interest Conflicts Occur when a person believes that in order to satisfy his or her needs, the needs and interests of another must be sacrificed  Interest-based conflicts may occur over  substantive issues (such as money, physical resources, time, etc.)  procedural issues (the way the dispute is to be resolved); and/or  psychological issues (perceptions of trust, fairness, desire for participation, respect, etc.) 12

13. Types of Conflict Structural Conflicts Caused by forces external to the people  limited physical resources  authority  geographic constraints  time  organizational changes, etc. 13

14. Types of Conflict Value Conflicts Occur when people attempt to force one set of values on others or lay claim to exclusive value systems that do not allow for different beliefs Occur when belief systems are perceived to be incompatible Often create the most intractable conflicts 14

15. Types of Conflict Relationship Conflicts Occur because of repetitive negative interactions, misperceptions and stereotypes Often fuel disputes and lead to escalating spiral of conflict Often worsened by poor communication

16. When a Conflict Escalates, Resolution Becomes more Difficult because: Tactics go from light to heavy Positions become more polarized and risk averse Number of people involved expands Issues expand Specific issues move to general issues Motivations change: Doing well  winning  hurting other D. Pruitt and S. H. Kim, Social Conflict (3 rd ed. 2003). 16

17. Psychological Changes Occur in Individuals Ambiguous actions are seen as threatening Inhibitions against retaliation diminish Communication is reduced Empathy is reduced Zero-sum thinking increases (problem- solving won’t work) 17

18. Group Dynamics Reinforce Conflict More militant leadership emerges Runaway norms are established Contentious group goals dominate Group cohesiveness increases 18

19. Communities Become Polarized Previously neutral community members are recruited Tendency to support the side that seems less blameworthy 19

20. Costs of Conflict Financial costs Educational costs: takes energy away from instruction, can interfere with needed consistency Human costs: stress, burnout, marital discord Relationships: hurts relationships among people who have to work together Societal costs: parents, families, schools divided; bad press for special education; missed opportunities 20

21. The Five Conflict Handling Modes 21 Relationship Goals Personal Goals Compromising ControllingCollaborating AccommodatingAvoiding Source: Thomas- Killman Conflict Mode Instrument

22. Avoiding What is it: – Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from the issue for the present When to use it? – When potential harm outweighs benefits to resolve – When time is needed to collect information or cool down 22 What is it: Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from the issue for the present When to use it? When potential harm outweighs benefits to resolve When time is needed to collect information or cool down Personal Goals Relationship Goals

23. Accommodating What is it? – Sacrifice your own personal goals to satisfy the concerns of the other(s) – Yield to another point of view When to use it? – When relationships are most important – Reach a quick, temporary solution 23 Personal Goals Relationship Goals

24. Controlling What is it? Pursue own ends without agreement of others Achieving one’s goals is paramount When to use it? When unpopular actions must be implemented When dire consequences will be the result of inaction 24 Personal Goals Relationship Goals

25. Compromising What is it? – Quick, mutually acceptable alternatives – Both parties give up something When to use it? – When two parties of equal power are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals – To achieve temporary solutions to complex issues 25 Personal Goals Relationship Goals

26. Collaborating What is it? – Identifying concerns of each person and finding alternatives that meet both sets of needs – Finding a solution that fully satisfies needs and concerns of both people When to use it? – When relationships & issues are both important – To gain commitment and acceptance for a high-quality decision 26 Personal Goals Relationship Goals

27. The Five Conflict Handling Modes 27 Relationship Goals Personal Goals Compromising Controlling Collaborating AccommodatingAvoiding Source: Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument

28. Power Imbalances Inherent in Conflict Actual and perceived power may differ Participants may not be equipped or supported to participate effectively Cultural differences may contribute Recognize there are formal and informal forms of power 28

29. Addressing Power Imbalances Advocacy Cultural Competence Student Involvement Well-facilitated processes and trained participants Well-built relationships Skilled neutral third party helpers 29

30. What are Your Values? Achievement Advancement/Promotion Adventure Affiliation Balance Challenging Problems Change/Variety Close Relationships Community Competence Competition Cooperation Creativity Decisiveness Economic security Effectiveness Efficiency Ethical practice Excellence Excitement Fame Family Fast Pace Flexibility Freedom Friendship Fun Growth Health Helping Others High Earnings Integrity Independence Involvement/participation Job Tranquility Knowledge Loyalty Meaningful work Money Order (stability) Physical Challenge Personal Development Precision Work Pressure Power/Authority Quality Recognition Respect Reputation Security Spirituality Stability Status Time Freedom Tradition Trust Work Alone Work w/Others _____________ 30

31. Pay Attention to Culture! Cultures have different ways of responding to conflict. Culture shapes status, relationships and social behaviors with regard to conflict resolution. Recognize that many people communicate and process information differently. 31

32. Listening 32

33. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Stephen Covey, “Habit 5” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 33

34. 34 The Chinese characters that make up the verb “to listen” tell us something about this skill. EARS

35. Communication Loop 35 Sender Receiver Message Reflective Listening Filtering Lenses

36. What Contributes to the Meaning of What We Hear? Intonation, Inflection, Volume, Speed, and Vocabulary =____% Appearance, Posture, Gestures, Clothing, Surroundings = ____% Verbal = ____% From “Listening to People,” Harvard Business Review 38%55%7% 36

37. Listening is a Disciplined Skill You can’t do two things at once if one of them is listening well. You can’t listen if you are trying to figure out what to say. You can’t listen if you are assuming. 37

38. Three-part Listening 1 speaker (1-2 minutes) 3 listeners: 1 listens for content (facts and thoughts) 1 listens for feelings (spoken/underlying) 1 listens for values All listeners paraphrase what they heard 38

39. “The most cost-effective component of a dispute resolution system is listening.” Mary Rowe MIT Ombuds & Scholar 39

40. Listening Video http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/Listening.cfm 40

41. 41

42. Structure of Problem Solving Sharing Information Identifying Interests Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions Reaching Agreement 42

43. Positions & Interests http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/understanding_pos.cfm 43

44. Positions & Interests Position Specific solution proposed to resolve problem - the “WHAT” Interest Underlying real need or desire that gives a position its life (i.e., beliefs, expectations, values, fears, priorities, hopes, concerns) - the “WHY” 44

45. 45

46. Finding the Interests What need is the person taking this position attempting to satisfy? What is motivating the person? What is the person trying to accomplish? What is the person afraid will happen if a demand is not fulfilled? 46

47. Questions to Elicit Interests “What would having that do for you?” “What would that mean to you?” “What would be different if you had that?” "Why is that solution so important for you?“ “Why are you suggesting…?” "What if that did/didn't happen?” “How will you be affected by…?” 47

48. What are Possible Underlying Interests? “Jessie will be in Ms. Smith’s classroom this year.” “We [parents] want an American Sign Language interpreter in that English Lit class.” “I demand an apology now!” 48

49. Facets of Conflict 49 People Process Problem

50. Interest-based Negotiation Aims not to change the other person, but to change negotiation behavior. Shifts from ”your position versus mine” to “you and I versus the problem”. Involves a mutual exploration of interests to yield more creative options. Uses objective criteria. Adapted from Highnam, K. (2001). Interest-based negotiation, CCSEA 2001 Fall Conference and AGM. Surry B.C., Canada. CCSEA; Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes 50

51. 51 Responding to High Energy People What behaviors challenge you personally? What do you experience?

52. Structure of Problem Solving Sharing Information Identifying Interests Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions Reaching Agreement 52

53. 53 Brainstorming Develop as many options as possible Thinking of an option does not mean committing to it No evaluation of options All ideas are welcome

54. Techniques for Generating Options Focus on specific interests Assess needed information Turn complaints into options Encourage behavioral options Shift perspectives Let there be silence 54

55. Structure of Problem Solving Sharing Information Identifying Interests Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions Reaching Agreement 55

56. 56 Evaluating Potential Solutions Establish objective criteria Compare solution to criteria Is this option acceptable to all? How realistic is this? What obstacles exist?

57. Structure of Problem Solving Sharing Information Identifying Interests Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions Reaching Agreement 57

58. 58 Reaching Agreement Make a Plan Who? What? When? Where? How? What if…? (contingency plans)

59. Developed by CADRE (the National Center for Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Special Education), in association with Leila Peterson and CEDR (DoDEA’s Center for Early Dispute Resolution) Contact information: Anita Engiles, oregonmediator@gmail.comoregonmediator@gmail.com Leila Peterson, Leila.Peterson@schooltalkdc.orgLeila.Peterson@schooltalkdc.org Ellen Wayne, Ellen.Wayne@hq.dodea.eduEllen.Wayne@hq.dodea.edu 59