1. information about how to improve your paragraph
epic hero paragraphs
information about how to improve your paragraph

2. What items caused McLean to deduct one point?
extra sentences
incorrect thesis/paragraph topics missing
incorrect topic sentence
no connection to thesis in #2 sentences
no connection to thesis in concluding sentence

3. Soooo, let’s take a closer look at the items that lost points

4. extra sentences
topic sentence
A. support #1
1. Explanation of Support
2. Analysis/Explain how information supports thesis
support #2
1. Explanation of Support
C. support #3
D. concluding sentence
Remember, your support paragraphs at this point must follow the structure given.
Also, you have one sentence per line or number.

5. incorrect thesis/paragraph topics missing
You were to write a thesis with three paragraph topics which answered the prompt given.
Using Harry Potter as an example, your thesis/paragraph topic sentence should look something like this:
Harry Potter is a hero due to his bravery, his loyalty to friends, and his ability to rely on instinct.

6. incorrect topic sentence
Your topic sentence should state paragraph topic and your thesis.
Here are some great topic sentences from your classmates:
Odysseus is a very intelligent epic hero.
Odysseus’ strength is one quality he displays as an epic hero.
One of the factors that makes Odysseus an epic hero is his physical strength.

7. no connection to thesis in #2 sentences
Your #2 sentences should provide analysis and explain how information presented in A, B, or C and your #1 sentence supports your thesis.
Here are some great #2 sentences from your classmates:
The epic hero wisely devises a plan to drug the Cyclops and blind him, then in the morning when the Cyclops lets his sheep out, to hide under them to escape the cave.

8. no connection to thesis in #2 sentences
Here are some great #2 sentences from your classmates:
Not any man could have destroyed Polyphemus’s eye which is why Odysseus stands out and is an epic hero.
If Odysseus hadn’t thought of the intelligent plan to “sling a man under each middle one” (694), then the epic hero’s journey would have ended there.

9. no connection to thesis in #2 sentences
Why are the previous #2 sentences great? Note that they all have the phrase epic hero in them.
The #2 sentence’s job is to make a connection to the thesis, support the thesis. If your thesis is Odysseus is an epic hero, then your #2 sentence MUST include the phrase epic hero.

10. no connection to thesis in concluding sentence
Your concluding sentence should summarize the evidence you provided in A, B, and C, and the sentence should also include the thesis.
Here are some great concluding sentences from your classmates:
Odysseus’ intellect saves him and his men from being trapped on the island of the Lotus-Eaters, allows Odysseus and his men to escape from Polyphemus, and saves him from a great death at the Sirens’ island, making Odysseus an extraordinary epic hero.

11. no connection to thesis in concluding sentence
Here are some great concluding sentences from your classmates:
Odysseus is an epic hero because of the physical strength which allows him to survive the battle of Cicones, hang on for dear life on the fig tree and chuck a pike at the Cyclops’s eye.
So overall, strength is obviously an epic hero trait that is shown when Odysseus drives three men back to their ships, when he needs two layers of rope to hold him to the mast, and when he holds onto a fig tree for hours.

12. Soooo, let’s take a closer look at the items that DIDN’T lose points, but if you work on these things, your writing will be better, stronger, more EPIC!

13. Including DIRECT EVIDENCE in A, B, and C sentences
Note the difference between the following sentences . . .

14. Including DIRECT EVIDENCE in A, B, and C sentences
In the Odyssey, Odysseus shows his physical strength when he fights near the coast of Ismarus and “stormed the place and killed men who fought. Plunder we [Odyssey and his crew] took, and we enslaved the women” (683).
Odysseus shows his physical strength when he battles the Cicones.
Which sentence do you want in your paragraph?

15. Quotation Incorporation (QI)
Do not have a sentence comprised solely of a quotation. A good writer seamlessly incorporates another’s writing into his or her writing. In order to do this, writers use a transition into a direct quotation.
Let’s look at some examples from your classmates who effectively incorporated Homer’s words into their own.

16. Quotation Incorporation (QI) Example
A. The intellect Odysseus possesses helps him to get through many tough situations, such as when Odysseus realizes the delicious lotus plants his men are about to eat are very dangerous, because “those who at this honeyed plant, the Lotus, never cared to report, nor to return” (685).

17. Quotation Incorporation (QI) Example
C. Another event in which Odysseus shows high intelligence is when he decides to sail towards Scylla, “the monster of the grey rock”, instead of Charybdis, a giant whirlpool (708).

18. Quotation Incorporation (QI) Example
C. The intellect of Odysseus is demonstrated again when Odysseus tells his crew members, “‘you are to tie me up, tight as a splint and if I shout and beg to be untied, take more turns of the rope and muffle me’” (705).

19. Quotation Incorporation (QI) Example
B. While trapped in the Cyclops Polyphemus’ cave, Odysseus shows the reader another example of his intelligence when he realizes, “if I killed him we perished there as well ” (690).

20. Write about literature in present tense
Please remember literature is ALIVE! Odysseus is always an epic hero, he is always trying to get home, so writers must write about literature in present tense.
All examples in this slide show have been edited for tense and are written in present tense.

21. Refer to literature by correct terms
You are writing about an epic poem. Please call it an epic poem, not a story or a book.
The epic poem consists of episodes. Please call them episodes, not stories, sections, or parts.