1. Basics of Biblical Counseling Lesson 12: The Biblical Basis for Marriage

2. XI. The Biblical Basis for Marriage

3. A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage 1.Popular reasons people get married: 2.Biblical reasons for marriage: a.Companionship (Gen 2:18, Prov. 2:17, 1 Pet. 3:7) b.Comprehensive Partnership (Gen. 2:24) What it doesn’t mean: i.Uniformity – loss of identity or individuality ii.Clone – No differences (church has many parts – Rom. 12)

4. A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage What is does mean: i.Unity – comprehensive, without constriction ii.Partnership – complete in every area of life iii.Sacrifice – commitment to sharing all of life together

5. A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage c.Areas of partnership: i.Cognitive/intellectual ii.Emotions/feelings iii.Social relationships iv.Work v.Spiritual life vi.Physical/sexual vii.Aspirational viii.Trials/struggles

6. A. The Biblical Purposes for Marriage a.Completing (Gen. 2:18) b.Children (Gen. 1:26) c.Custodianship (Gen. 1:28) d.Contentment (1 Cor. 7:1ff) e.Characterization (Eph. 5:22-32)

7. B. Biblical Principles of Marriage 1.Priority of Marriage (Gen. 2:24) a.The priority of marriage is realized by living in light of Gen. 2:24. When a couple gets married, they: i.Leave their father and mother ii.Cleave to one another iii.They become “one flesh” b.What leaving and cleaving does NOT mean: i.Break off all relations ii.Bearing no responsibility iii.Abandoning the family iv.Geographic distancing

8. B. Biblical Principles of Marriage 1.Priority of Marriage (Gen. 2:24) c.What leaving and cleaving DOES mean: i.Leave behind dependency relationship (emotional, financial, etc.) ii.Leave behind parents’ temporary God-given authority over you iii.Leave behind parent-centered and controlled manner of living iv.Leave behind dependence upon parents’ approval v.Leave behind parents as chief confidantes vi.Leave behind family’s ideas about family structure and functioning

9. B. Biblical Principles of Marriage 1.Priority of Marriage (Gen. 2:24) c.What leaving and cleaving DOES mean: vii.Cleave to peer-relationship with parents viii.Cleave to full responsibility for life and decisions ix.Cleave to viewing parents as advisors x.Cleave to biblical standards for life and family living xi.Cleave to your mate’s opinions, insights and concerns as being most important

10. B. Biblical Principles of Marriage 2.Purity of Marriage a.Biblical commands: i.Marriage is to be held in honor, the marriage bed is to be undefiled (Heb. 13:4) ii.No adultery (Ex. 20:14) or any form of immorality (Eph. 5:3) iii.Wife is to be pure and chaste (1 Pet. 3:1-2), husband is to be like Christ (Eph. 5:25) iv.Stay away from anyone who is not your spouse (Prov. 5:15-20)

11. B. Biblical Principles of Marriage 2.Purity of Marriage b.Commitments required: i.Purity in behavior (adultery, pornography, flirting, etc.) ii.Purity in affections (where is your heart?) iii.Purity in thoughts (fantasizing, day-dreaming, lust) iv.Purity in removing any pattern of thought, behavior, or desire which may lead to impurity (Prov. 5, 7, Eph. 5:3). Stay off the road that leads to sexual sin.

12. B. Biblical Principles of Marriage 3.The Permanence of Marriage a.Don’t separate what God has joined (Matt. 19:5-6) b.Husband and wife should be satisfied in one another at all times (Prov. 5:15-19) c.God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16). Divorce should never be an option for a Christian couple. If divorce does occur, reconciliation or singleness are the options (1 Cor. 7:10- 11) d.Some interpreters (like John MacArthur) hold that divorce is allowed in the cases of immorality or abandonment (Matt. 19:9, 1 Cor. 7:15), while others (like John Piper) hold the view that divorce is never allowed. Regardless, the Bible prohibits the vast majority of divorces.

13. B. Biblical Principles of Marriage 4.The Preeminence of God in Marriage a.Christ must hold “first place” in all things, including the marriage relationship (Col. 1:18) b.God’s kingdom and righteousness are to be pursued first, even in marriage (Matt. 6:33) c.Couples can make Christ preeminent in their relationship by worshipping Him together, walking with Him together, and submitting their wills to His lordship as revealed through His Word.

14. C. Resources On Marriage: Wayne Mack, Strengthening Your Marriage (P&R) Wayne Mack, Your Family, God’s Way (P&R) Martha Peace, The Excellent Wife (Focus) Stuart Scott, The Exemplary Husband (Focus) Lou Priolo, The Complete Husband (Calvary)