Trigger Situation Walking through the town centre you notice a friend on the other side of the road. You wave to them but you get no response from your friend.
Group Exercise In small groups discuss: What alternative explanations can you think of why your friend did not respond to you waving to her? What consequences would this explanation have on your – mood – physical reactions – behaviour
Consider within the CBT model what your reactions might be Group Exercise
Thoughts She must be angry with me. What have I done wrong? Behaviours Don’t walk over to talk to her. Don’t call her. Mood Confused, sad, upset Physical Reactions Sweaty palms, uneasy feeling in stomach
Feedback to Large Group How was it for each of you to think of alternative explanations? How different were the consequences?
Thought diary monitoring STEP ONE… Each time you feel sad, depressed or irritable… Write down in the first column a brief description of the situation where the thought occurred. Then in the second column write down the Emotion (feeling). Third column write down the rating of the emotion (feeling) 1…100% Fourth column write down your thought.
What happened (Trigger Situation) Emotion (one word) Emotion rating (1-100) Thoughts Thought diary – Step 1
Unhelpful Thinking Styles There are a number of well known unhelpful thinking styles, the most common ones are: Black-and-White Thinking Catastrophising Discounting the Positive Emotional Reasoning Labelling Mental Filter Mind Reading Fortune Telling Overgeneralisation Personalisation “Should” and “must” statements Use your task sheet? To reflect with your thought diary over the week
is? What do you think assertiveness is? Group exercise ? What words and/or characteristics do you associate with assertiveness? Assertiveness
Passive: We let the other person’s needs and rights take priority over our own.. We often fail to communicate our own needs. : Aggressive: It is saying that my needs, wants and rights are more important than yours. The aggressive person attempts to overpower the other person by not allowing him/her a choice We let the other person’s needs, and rights take priority over our own. Assertiveness
Assertiveness is active, honest and direct. It communicates an impression of respect for yourself as well as for the other person. It says that my wants, needs and rights are just as important as yours. Assertive behaviour requires good listening and negotiating skills, so that the other person feels that their point of view is being heard and respected, even if you don’t agree with it. This should lead to open, honest relationships and success without resentment. In our relationships our behaviour can be assertive:
What are the consequences of being unassertive? Other people would not be aware of our time schedules and priorities and we could feel hurt whenever our schedules are not considered by others We avoid conflict in the short term but in the long term we lose self-respect and the respect of others Suppression of feelings like anger, frustration and humiliation result in physical tension and stress Our self-confidence decreases