1. BULLYING RESOURCE & INFO PACK NOVEMBER 2009

2. Index  Top Ten WebsiteThe best of the anti bullying website on the Internet Top Ten Website  Additional ResourcesSome great additional resources e.g. the Bullying Presentations site has some excellent PowerPoints that could make the basis for an entire session Additional Resources  IntroductionThe aims of this months pack and some extra resources to consider Introduction  IcebreakersFun stuff to start the session Icebreakers  Bullying Page 1 Page 2 Page 3What is bullying? The psychological and neurological reasonsPage 1Page 2Page 3  Types of Bullying A brief outline of the types of bullying that occur Types of Bullying  The Bullying CircleWhat happens to young people when someone gets bullied The Bullying Circle  Combating Bullying Page 1 Page 2Ideas for strong anti bullying programmesPage 1Page 2  Anti Bullying StrategiesBe SMART and take the SHINE pledge – why not try making up your own anti bullying acronyms? Anti Bullying Strategies  Don’t be a BystanderHow to actively engage young people who think bullying is ‘not my problem’ Don’t be a Bystander  Bullying Guidance for Young PeopleFrom the ‘One More Way to be a Bully’ pack, excellent guidance for young people – why not print out and display in your centre, or use as a basis for your own guidelines? Bullying Guidance for Young People  Offline & Online Activity IndexFind all the fun stuff here: quizzes, puzzles, activities and ideas. Don’t miss the ‘Millionaire’ quiz, which would make a great template for your own ‘Millionaire’ style quizzes Offline & Online Activity Index

3. Top Ten Websites To make websites clickable, press F5 to view as slideshow and make links live  The Anti Bullying Alliance have a range of resources, including a briefing pack on cyberbullying for download that includes research, tips and a posterAnti Bullying Alliancebriefing pack on cyberbullying  The Anti Bullying Week website has free posters for downloadAnti Bullying Week  Beat Bullying offers a range of lesson plans and runs the Cybermentors programme which encourages young people to act as peer counsellors Beat BullyingCybermentors  Beyond Bullying are running a competition to make a music video to accompany an anti bullying song – you can see some winning entries on myspace Beyond Bullyingmyspace  At Bullying UK you can create your own posters, get in The Zone and moreBullying UK  National Anti Bullying Week has a good range of links to websites and resources National Anti Bullying Week  Anti Bullying Network offers hints and tips and the ‘pick a pal’ feature Anti Bullying Network  Direct.Gov has advice and information about dealing with bullying Direct.Gov  Act Against Bullying is running the Cyberkind campaign as part of their World Kindness Campaign Act Against BullyingCyberkind  Stop Bullying Now tackles the issues through cartoon webisodes and games Stop Bullying Now BACK TO INDEX

4. Additional Resources  Teachers.TV video on strategies for tackling bullying Teachers.TV  Kidscape offer downloads, ideas on assertiveness and policy guidelines Kidscape  NSPCC have Childline leaflets for download plus other resources NSPCC  Think U Know has resources for training children and young people in Internet safety Think U Know  Digizen cyberbullying guidance and adaptable classroom resources Digizen  Kidsmart has games, information and simple tips for keeping safe online Kidsmart  Kent.TV has a number of anti bullying videos Kent.TV  Childnet International is an umbrella site with a wide range of resources Childnet International  Bullying Presentations in PowerPoint format designed for different audiences (some PPTs have US spelling) Bullying Presentations  BBC Newsround Guide to Bullying BBC Newsround  4Children have recently released their Safe from Bullying: Training Resources for downloadSafe from Bullying: Training Resources  Need2Know has a Bullying section on their excellent information & advice siteBullying  Young Anti Bullying Alliance has 50 ideas including an anti bullying charter50 ideas BACK TO INDEX

5. Introduction  ECM OUTCOMES: Stay Safe, Be Healthy, Enjoy & Achieve, Make a Positive Contribution (ECM survey information available here here  CURRICULUM CHAPTERS: 2 (Bullying), 3 (Citizenship), 4 (Community Involvement), 12 (Inclusive Practice), 16 (Mental Health), 19 (Peer Education), 20 (Personal Safety) This month’s pack is themed to tie in with Anti-Bullying Week 2009 (16 – 20 November). This pack contains links to useful websites and resources, examines some key issues and provides activities and session ideas around the anti bullying theme. You may also find that past packs have useful resources that can be used in this context. It’s also worth looking at the relevant curriculum chapters, the HealthAware ‘Safe & Well’ activities (p175-9) and The Really Useful Guide to Citizenship & Safety (section 1). You will shortly receive a copy of the excellent ‘One More Way to be a Bully’ resource pack, produced by Ashford Youth Forum – ask your AYO for yours. You can also check out the video on Kent TV.video on Kent TV The theme this year is ‘Stay Safe in Cyberspace’ with a focus on cyberbullying: the use of mobile phones and the internet to deliberately upset someone else. Research has found that more than a third of 12–15-year-olds have faced some form of cyberbullying. A key message for this year’s Anti-Bullying Week is that modern technologies remain a positive and productive part of the lives of children and young people and they can be used safely and constructively – as youth work professionals we need to effectively manage the risk of communication technologies whilst embracing the many opportunities for engagement that they bring. Finally, Anti Bullying Week helps us to reinforce the message that bullying of any kind is neither acceptable nor inevitable. BACK TO INDEX

6. Icebreakers KEEP IT A SECRET  Ask each member of the group to write down something that they’re not very proud of on a piece of paper, then fold the paper over securely. Make it clear that these secrets won’t be revealed.  Now ask members of the group to pass their paper to the person opposite them. Now pass the paper to someone sitting 3 people on their right.  Now ask the group how they feel with someone holding this information – emotions like scared, angry, ashamed, insecure. Point out that people who are being bullied often experience these emotions.  Now pass round a rubbish bin and get everyone to throw their piece of paper away. You are going to start the session with a clean slate. Point out that we all make poor decisions sometimes but we are all capable of making better ones. AGREE/DIASGREE Designate one end of the room ‘agree’ and the other ‘disagree’ then read the following statements (feel free to add more of your own to extend the activity)  Bullying is usually the victims fault  Bullies are usually insecure  Bullying only happens to certain people  There are many different kinds of bullying  Bullying is accidental  The best people to stop bullying are adults BACK TO INDEX

7. Icebreakers After each statement, ask young people why they’ve made the choices they have. To extend the activity further, allow young people to stand anywhere along the continuum between agree & disagree then ask them to explain why they’ve made the choice they have. SNOWBALLS  Give each young person a piece of paper and ask them to write down 1 or 2 ideas for stopping bullying  Now ask everyone to screw up their piece of paper into a ball and encourage the group to have a snowball fight.  After a few minutes stop the activity and ask each young person to pick up a ‘snowball’ and open it. Encourage young people to try and pick a paper that isn’t theirs.  Read out the suggestions and discuss them in the group.  To extend this activity, use these thoughts as the basis for the ‘Stamp It Out’ activity. See previous packs for icebreaker ideas and links. You can also find ideas in the curriculum document and the Vanessa Rogers’ books. BACK TO INDEX

8. What is Bullying? WHAT IS BULLYING? The Government defines bullying as ‘behaviour by an individual or group, usually repeated over time, that intentionally hurts another individual or group either physically or emotionally’. Bullying behaviour can include name calling, offensive comments, physical intimidation, sending offensive or inappropriate texts and spreading hurtful rumours. Bullying can damage a young person’s sense of self esteem and self confidence and cause lasting damage. Bullies, too, can experience emotional harm – research shows that many young people who bully were bullied themselves. Bullying can also have an impact on families, teachers and other adults involved with a young person. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF BULLYING Dan Olweus has identified a set of common bullying characteristics:  They have a strong need to dominate and subdue other students and to get their own way  Are impulsive and are easily angered  Are often defiant and aggressive toward adults, including parents and teachers  Show little empathy toward students who are victimized  If they are boys, they are physically stronger than boys in general He has also debunked the myths that bullies are unpopular and insecure, a view borne out by neuroscience. Many bullies have above average self esteem. BACK TO INDEX

9. What is Bullying INSIDE THE MIND OF A BULLY A study conducted at the University of Chicago suggests that the brain’s natural impulse for empathy is disrupted in the brain of a bully, leading to increased aggression. The brains of bullies and non bullies showed striking differences in the way that information was processed http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/12/the-brain-of-a-bully/ Bullying behaviour is often triggered when a bully feels stress or anxiety and neuroscience supports the idea that interventions can lead to improved social behaviors in the school setting if they are designed to mimic the brain’s process in developing a reinforced practice.http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/12/the-brain-of-a-bully/ WHY DO YOUNG PEOPLE BULLY? It’s important to remember that not all bullies are the same, and have different motivations for bullying:  Some bullies simply want power and domination over others  Some bullies are seeking to interact with others but do so inappropriately as they often lack good adult role models.  Some bullies are seeking attention that they don’t get from their parents/carers  Bullies are sometimes jealous of their victims  Many bullies are being bullied themselves  Some young people are so worried about being bullied that they become bullies rather than let it happen to them BACK TO INDEX

10. What is Bullying? WHO GET’S BULLIED? Dr Olweus has also identified some victim behaviours:  Are cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn and shy  Are often anxious, insecure, unhappy and have low self-esteem  Are depressed and engage in suicidal ideation much more often than their peers  Often do not have a single good friend and relate better to adults than to peers  If they are boys, they may be physically weaker than their peers However, it’s important to remember that there is no hierarchy of bullying and that no one ‘deserves’ to be bullied. The profile of a bully indicates that if parents don't spend adequate time with their children, they may compensate for that attention by "extortion." They may seek it aggressively and gratify themselves with power and domination over children weaker than themselves. Adults should review what messages they are giving with regard to anger control and fighting. The profile of a victim indicates that children who are very isolated need to be specially monitored for the possibility of bullying. They should be taught skills to socialize with others and to dodge a conflict with humour. BACK TO INDEX

11. Types of Bullying Specific types of bullying include:  bullying related to race, religion or culture  bullying related to SEN or disabilities  bullying related to appearance or health conditions  bullying related to sexual orientation  bullying of young carers, looked-after children or otherwise related to home circumstances  sexist or sexual bullying. Bullying usually takes place in three main ways:  Face to face (usually physical e.g. fighting & mental e.g. name calling, taunting)  Indirect (usually mental e.g. rumours and gossip)  Cyberbullying (texting, SNS) BACK TO INDEX

12. The Bullying Circle The Victim THE BULLY Starts the bullying THE HENCHMAN Active participant but doesn’t start it PASSIVE BULLY Supports but doesn’t take part POSSIBLE BULLY Enjoys it but doesn’t show support BYSTANDER ‘Nothing to do with me’ POSSIBLE DEFENDER Doesn’t like it but doesn’t take a stand DEFENDER Dislikes bullying and tries actively to stop it BACK TO INDEX

13. Combating Bullying One way to combat bullying is to take an ‘all project intervention stance’. This type of programme has resulted in greater reporting of incidents and a significant improvement in the ‘social climate’ with a marked reduction in the number of opportunities and rewards for bullying. This type of anti bullying programme depends on: 1. The creation of an environment characterised by warmth, active engagement and positive interest from adults. 2. Firm boundaries delineating acceptable and unacceptable behaviour 3. Consistent application of non-punitive sanctions for unacceptable behaviour 4. Adults who act as authorities and good role models Young people who are being bullied need to remember that they don’t have the problem – the bully does. Good strategies to stand strong against bullying include:  Spend time with friends – bullies rarely pick on people who are in a group  Tell the bully calmly to stop and then walk away  Tell an adult you can trust – this isn’t telling tales as you have a right to be safe and secure and, even if the problem has stopped, tell an adult in case it starts again. It helps to practice what you want to say beforehand  If you find it difficult to talk about bullying, why not write about your experiences – you could even set up a blog or a Facebook profile and ‘name and shame’ the bully by detailing what happens when (but make sure an adult knows about this)  Ask your parents/carer to visit your school/youth project  If you have no one to talk to or don’t want to talk to anyone you know, then call CHILDLINE 0800 1111 BACK TO INDEX

14. Combating Bullying WHAT NOT TO DO:  Don’t try to deal with the problem on your own – it’s OK to ask for help  Don’t hit the bullies – you might get accused of being a bully yourself  Don’t exaggerate - always tell the truth about what’s happened to you  Don’t believe the lies that bullies tell about you  Don’t hide things from your friends and family – secrecy is the bullies biggest weapon against you IF YOU’RE BULLYING SOMEONE:  Stop and think about why you’re doing what you’re doing  Think about the pain your bullying causes others – do you really want to hurt or upset other people  It’s not big to make others feel small  Bullying won’t make you real friends  Ask for help to stop bullying – talk to a trusted adult about ways you can change your behaviour BACK TO INDEX

15. Anti Bullying Strategies SMART (for younger young people)  S = SAFE stay safe online by not giving personal information to people you don’t trust  M = MEETING don’t meet anyone offline without letting your parents/carers/best friend know – and try and make sure they’re present if you do meet someone  A = ACCEPTING make sure that you only accept emails, texts, attachments, pictures and IM messages from people you know  R = RELIABLE remember that not all the information you get online is reliable  T = TELL if something online makes you feel uncomfortable, then tell a parent/carer or another adult you trust Or try the SHINE pledge:  S = STAND UP to put downs  H = HELP those who are being bullied  I = INFORM adults when I need to  N = NEVER use my computer or mobile to hurt anyone  E = ENCOURAGE my friends to speak out against bullying too BACK TO INDEX

16. Don’t be a Bystander There are two kinds of bystanders: HURTFUL bystanders who may instigate bullying, encourage bullying when it has started, join in the bullying or contribute to bullying by doing nothing and passively accepting what is happening. HELPFUL bystanders can directly intervene by doing something directly to stop the bullying or get help to stop it when it’s started. WHAT MAKES SOMEONE A BYSTANDER?  ‘It’s not my problem’ and they don’t want to draw attention to themselves  They think they can’t stop the bully or may become another victim  They don’t like the victim or feel they ‘deserve’ to be bullied  They fear retribution or just don’t know what to do  They think telling adults will make it worse HOW TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE BECOME HELPFUL BYSTANDERS:  Let young people know you will support them when they speak up  Discuss ways they can intervene  Provide examples of how helpful bystanders have made a difference BACK TO INDEX

17. Bullying Guidance for Young People From the ‘One More Way To Be A Bully’ pack IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED:  Try to stay calm and confident  Be firm and clear – look them in the eye and tell them to stop  Get away from the situation as quickly as possible  Tell an adult what has happened as soon as possible AFTER YOU’VE BEEN BULLIED  Tell a teacher or trusted adult at school/youth project/home  Practice what you’re going to say and get a friend to come with you for support  Don’t be afraid to speak up  If you have access to a peer support programme – use it. Or call Childline 0800 1111.  Don’t blame yourself WHEN YOU TELL WHAT HAPPENS  Be clear about what has happened, where it happened and how often it has happened  Be clear about who was involved and who saw what happened  Be clear about what you’ve already done about it BACK TO INDEX

18. Offline Activities & Online Activities Index Click the link to go straight to the activity sheet or website  Discussion Points Discussion Points  Anti Bullying Double Puzzle and Answers Anti Bullying Double PuzzleAnswers  Are You Bully Aware? and Answers Are You Bully Aware?Answers  Bullying Myth Buster Quiz and Answers Bullying Myth Buster QuizAnswers  Set Your Goals Set Your Goals  STAMP It Out STAMP It Out  Draw a Bully Draw a Bully  Case Study – Holly Grogan Case Study Rosimeiri Boxall Case Studies Guidance Notes Case Study – Holly GroganCase Study Rosimeiri Boxall Case Studies Guidance Notes  Am I Being Bullied? Am I Being Bullied?  Scenarios & Role Play Cards Scenarios & Role Play Cards  Agony Aunt dilemmas – what would you do? (replies) Agony Auntreplies  Design a CYBERSAFE comic Design a CYBERSAFE comic  Other session ideas Other session ideas  Evaluation sheets for younger and older groups & ideas for evaluation Evaluation sheets for younger older groups ideas for evaluation  Who Wants to be a Millionaire anti bullying quiz (scroll down the page, then click on link) – why not use the template to build your own quiz? Who Wants to be a Millionaire  Take Need2Know’s Cyberbullying QuizCyberbullying Quiz  Play the Bullybusters gameBullybusters  Watch the webisodes then play the Stop Bullying Now gamesStop Bullying Now games  Design an anti bullying poster and submit to the gallery or print and display!anti bullying poster  Take the Teen Life Check and set some life goalsTeen Life Check  CBBC bullying dilemmas – what would you do?bullying dilemmas  Play the Quiz Busters anti bullying gameQuiz Busters anti bullying game  Celebrate difference and fight bullying by baking a Kidscape Bake Kidscape Bake  Are you a responsible digital citizen? Play the Digizen cyberbullying game and find outDigizen cyberbullying game

19. Discussion Points  Ask the group why they think bullying happens – are there any particular circumstances that might encourage bullying? How can we work to get rid of those circumstances?  Who is affected by bullying? Use the bullying circle diagram to show how bullying affects everyone who witnesses it. Are there any other people who would be affected?  What rules do you think your centre should have in place to combat bullying? Young people may already be familiar with working agreements from school – would the same agreements apply to your project? Encourage the group to embrace concepts like active listening, respecting each other’s opinions, confidentiality and other appropriate behaviour. You could also refer to the Young ABA 50 Ideas pdf which includes and anti bullying charter.  How many of the group use SNS (Social Networking Sites)? What sites do they use? Have they ever encountered cyberbullying – nasty comments on their wall or whilst online gaming, for example? Try mind mapping words that the group (or groups – you could do this activity in smaller groups that then feedback) feel relate to cyberbullying – the different types, where they happen, who is involved, the feelings of the bully and the victim. Try and come up with a definition and some ways that cyberbullying happens – these could be displayed around your centre during anti-bullying week, or as a reminder in your computer suite.  What are the effects of cyberbullying? Introduce ideas like the fact that victims can’t escape even at home or on holidays, not wanting to use the Internet even for good reasons like communication and sharing their experience, low self esteem and self confidence and how any kind of bullying can have serious consequences such as self harm or even suicide. BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

20. Bullying Double Puzzle All puzzles in this pack are made using Discovery Puzzle Maker http://puzzlemaker.discoveryeducation.comhttp://puzzlemaker.discoveryeducation.com This can happen by text or on Facebook, for example Another word for hitting Bullying people without physical violence is called ____ bullying This kind of bullying includes name calling and gossip Bullying someone because of their sexual preference Spreading nasty ones of these is a form of bullying Social _____ can come as a result of being bullied This helps the bully as no one knows what’s happening It’s best to do this with an adult if you’re being bullied Getting this from friends and family is a great way to combat bullying Now copy the letters in the numbered squares to spell out what we need to do to bullying: BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

21. Bullying Double Puzzle Answers  This can happen by text or on Facebook, for example CYBERBULLYING  Another word for hitting PUNCHING  Bullying people without physical violence is called ____ bullying MENTAL  This kind of bullying includes name calling and gossipVERBAL  Bullying someone because of their sexual preferenceHOMOPHOBIC  Spreading nasty ones of these is a form of bullyingRUMOURS  Social _____ can come as a result of being bulliedEXCLUSION  This helps the bully as no one knows what’s happeningSILENCE  It’s best to do this with an adult if you’re being bulliedTALK  Getting this from friends and family is a great way to combat bullyingSUPPORT  Now copy the letters in the numbered squares to spell out what we need to do to bullying: STAMP IT OUT BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

22. Are You Bully Aware? 1. Which one of these is bullying: a) a one off fight b) falling out with your best friendc) constant name calling 2. You’re a bully if: a) you enjoy watching someone being bullied b) you join in with name calling c) you like having power over people 3. Someone is spreading malicious rumours and gossip about you. Do you: a) get angry and start a fight b) get upset and cry c) do nothing, but tell an adult what’s happening 4. A new kid joins your youth centre – they’re overweight and are wearing old trainers. Some of the others start name calling. Do you: a) join in – it’s only a bit of fun b) ignore it – they’ll stop when they get bored c) tell the others to stop it 5. Cyberbullying is: a) sending abusive text messages b) excluding someone from an online group c) posting rude comments about someone online 6. If you see someone being bullied, what do you do? a) ignore it – it’s not my problem b) give the bully a thumbs up – then hopefully they won’t bully you c) go and get help BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

23. Are You Bully Aware? Answers 1. c) constant name calling – bullying is a repeated action, not a one off 2. a,b,c) all of these are bullying behaviours 3. c) tell an adult – if you fight back or let the bully see you cry you only make the situation worse 4. c) It’s best to stop any kind of bullying behaviour as soon as it starts – and joining in makes you a bully 5. a,b,c) all of these are associated with cyberbullying 6. c) never tackle a bully on your own, or give them any encouragement – go and get an adult to help you stop the bully 7. BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

24. Bullying Myth Buster Quiz TRUEFALSE Girls bully more than boysFalse Bullies tend to target young people with physical differencesFalse Bullies are insecure and have low self esteemFalse Most bullying is physicalFalse Being in a group increases the risk of bullyingFalse Bullying toughens you upFalse Bullies grow out of it when they leave schoolfalse You need to fight back so the bully leaves you aloneFalse Talking to an adult just makes it worseFalse BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

25. Bullying Myth Buster Quiz Answers Girls bully more than boys FALSE boys bully more than girls but both sexes can be bullies Bullies tend to target young people with physical differences FALSE bullies target anybody and everybody Bullies are insecure and have low self esteem FALSE bullies are often popular and have high self esteem Most bullying is physical FALSE the majority of bullying is verbal: name calling, spreading rumours and malicious gossip Being in a group increases the risk of bullying FALSE bullies are put off by groups, they prefer to bully one person not many Bullying toughens you up FALSE in fact bullying can cause lasting psychological damage leading to self harm and even suicide Bullies grow out of it when they leave school FALSE most bullies become more violent and may become involved in violence related crime You need to fight back so the bully leaves you alone FALSE fighting back only escalates the problem Talking to an adult just makes it worse FALSE talking to an adult is the best thing you can do – they can advice you as to when bullying crosses over into criminal behaviour, for example BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

26. Set Your Goals Tick the options below that are realistic goals for you – use the space at the bottom to add some specific goals for yourself My goals are to:  Tell someone I know, not bottle it all up  Stay away from bullies or stay in a group  Keep a record of what’s happened including copies of emails and texts  Take up a new activity that will make me feel happier and more confident  Build my own support network of trusted family & friends  To be a helpful bystander if I see someone being bullied  Talk to Childline 0800 1111 if there’s no one I can trust   BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

27. STAMP It Out!  Give everyone a blank sheet of A4 paper and ask them to write ‘STAMP IT OUT’ at the top  Now ask everyone to draw round their bare foot  Ask each young person to write a strong anti bullying message on the sole of their foot  Then get them to write each of the letters S T A M P on each of the toes  Explain that each letter is going to stand for a good piece of anti bullying advice e.g. T = TALK to an adult so that STAMP will stand for some straightforward and easy to remember anti bullying rules  Each ‘Stamp It Out’ poster can be further decorated by shading, collage etc.  Display the posters as part of anti bullying week at your centre.  Discussion point: ask young people to evaluate the slogans and STAMP rules – which ones are most effective? Which 5 STAMP rules would they take to make a definitive ‘STAMP It Out’ poster for permanent display? RETURN TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

28. Use the blank face to draw what you think a bully looks like then share it! BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX Draw A Bully

29. Draw A Bully Guidance Notes  Ask the group what they think a bully looks like  Hand out the ‘draw a bully’ sheets and get everyone to draw their idea of a bully  Meanwhile draw a picture on a flip chart that represents someone who used to bully you  Get everyone to compare their pictures – are there are similarities, differences? Do these images really represent an archetypal bully?  Ask the group whether they think you can identify a bully by the way they look or whether bullying is really about behaviour rather than physical characteristics.  Ask each young person to come forward and write a bullying behaviour on the flip chart, building up a mind map of what bullying is BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

30. Case Study – Holly Grogan The parents of a 15-year-old public schoolgirl who jumped 30ft to her death from a road bridge blamed her suicide on the “huge pressure” and “modern complexities” of social networking websites. Holly Grogan died last week after she fell on to a busy dual carriageway and was hit by passing traffic. She had endured a torrent of abuse posted on her Facebook page, it was disclosed yesterday. Friends said that she had been a victim of cyber-bullying. “Holly struggled to cope with the huge pressures placed upon her by the modern complexities of ‘friendship groups’ and social networking. Every responsible parent will empathise with our constant battle to instill self-belief and confidence in our children.” Holly was found under Pirton Lane Bridge, in Churchdown, near Gloucester, about 11 o’clock on Wednesday evening. She was pronounced dead at the scene. One of her friends said that some girls would “gang up” on Holly, and that others posted a series of abusive messages on her Facebook page. The friend also said that Holly was forced to move schools after the bullying became unbearable. She said: “Holly was nice and had the biggest smile in the world. She always did well at school but the other girls used to pick on her. “She didn’t have any confidence, that was the problem. Girls used to gang up on her and call her names and she didn’t have anything to say back. She just froze up. Girls used to bully her on Facebook and leave comments on her wall calling her names. They’ve probably all deleted them now. I heard that the girls who bullied her at her old school told their friends at her new school to bully her as well, and so it just kept on and on. Apparently there was a girl at her school yesterday who was running around crying because she used to bully her, but she should have thought about that at the time. I heard that she planned to do this and left a letter for her parents at home. I can’t believe it really.” BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

31. Case Study – Rosimeiri Boxall A vicar’s daughter plunged to her death from a third-floor window in a desperate attempt to escape an attack by two teenage girls, the Old Bailey was told. Rosimeiri Boxall, 19, fell from the window after being tormented by the girls, who were aged 13 and 17, the jury heard. The younger girl called Boxall a “whore” and a “f***ing bitch” as she laying dying on the floor outside a home for homeless teenagers in Blackheath, southeast London, it was claimed. The court was told that the two girls had been drinking vodka during a prolonged day of abuse of Rosie, who responded passively and indicated that she did not want to fight. "In once incident, Kemi sprayed air-freshener in Rosie’s face, punched her around the head and slapped the back of her head. She then grabbed her hair and tried to pull her off the bed. One of those assaults was filmed less than 30 minutes before Rosie fell to her death. It is apparent from the footage that Rosie made no attempt to defend herself during the assault. Rosie fell to her death having, in fear of further violence at the hands of the defendants, clambered out of a third-floor window. Rosie leapt to her death from the kitchen window of Kemi’s flat to escape from a prolonged period of physical and verbal abuse.” Ms Boxall was found lying on the ground under the kitchen window. Mr Smart continued: “Outside, she [the 13-year-old] continued to verbally abuse Rosie, calling her a whore and f****** bitch as she lay dying on the ground.” The girl had picked up Miss Boxall’s mobile phone as she lay injured and, after throwing it back down, said, “Serves you right, bitch”, the jury was told. BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEXBACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

32. Case Studies – Guidance Notes Holly Grogan’s experiences are not unusual – at least a quarter of young people have had some experience of being cyberbullied. To quote one young person from recent DCSF research "you can have 60 people bullying you on the internet, but in real life there wouldn’t be 60 people beating you up“. Discuss Holly & Rosimeiri’s case studies with young people – try and identify:  How they were being bullied  Why they were being bullied  Typical bullying behaviours  What both girls might have done to make the situation better  What we can learn from cases like Holly and Rosimeiri? These case studies may be used in conjunction with any of the other activities in this pack BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

33. Discuss the following scenarios in a group or use them as the basis of a roleplay – Am I being bullied each time? What do you think? How would you feel? My best friend keeps telling me I need to wear deodorant – this makes me feel embarrassed and upset. Am I being bullied? Am I Being Bullied? Each time I walk into the youth centre, a group of kids look at me and giggle and whisper to each other – am I being bullied? I can’t control my movements very well and when I get excited by hands jerk up. A group of kids were mimicking me at the football match. Am I being bullied? My parents have just split up and someone texted everyone I know about it. Now I’m getting nasty texts all the time calling me a loser. Am I being bullied? BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

34. Bullying Dilemmas - Scenarios You can use the following situations for discussion and/or roleplay – print out scenarios and glue to card You’re walking home and a gang set on you and demand your new trainers/mobile/bag WHAT DO YOU DO? You receive a really unpleasant and upsetting text message WHAT DO YOU DO? You check your Facebook profile and find lots of nasty messages on your wall WHAT DO YOU DO? You receive a series of phone calls where no one speaks or you hear laughter. The number is withheld. WHAT DO YOU DO? You hear a rumour going around about your best friend that you know isn’t true. WHAT DO YOU DO? You see someone being bullied in the street. WHAT DO YOU DO? Someone that you don’t like is being called names. WHAT DO YOU DO? You’re playing an online game and somebody starts sending you threatening messages. WHAT DO YOU DO? BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

35. Agony Aunt – What Would You Do? These are real problems sent to agony aunts – discuss them in your group and work out what your advice would be – then find out what the agony aunt replied Dear Virginia, For the past few summers, we've gone on holiday with the same friends and their three children. But my son, who's eight, has confided in me that the other children tease and bully him. Our friends have just written, suggesting several destinations for next year, but I don't want to go if my son's unhappy. My husband says that he's got to get over it, since the rest of us have a good time. What do you think? Dear Virginia, I've recently learnt that my 11-year-old daughter sent a vile email to a boy at her school. The boy's mother says my daughter used foul language and wrote that she'd like to kill him slowly and painfully, after he stopped 'going out' with another girl. My daughter is charming and I know she didn't mean this, but on email, everything can get twisted. She wrote this email with a friend, but doesn't seem to understand how out of order it was. How can I explain? BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

36. Agony Aunt replies Virginia Ironsides replied: Has your husband got any idea at all of how absolutely horrible, frightening and miserable it is, being teased and bullied by another child when you're about eight years old? The bully in question is probably used to a rumbustious teasing and knockabout life, having been brought up in a gang of three. Or perhaps the boy feels excluded by the other two and takes out his own feelings of inferiority on other vulnerable children. Your son has been brave enough to pluck up courage to confide in you how he feels. He looks to you, his parents, to protect him from a fortnight filled with dread and sleeplessness. Of course, no doubt there are moments when he can muck in, but moments, too, when he's just putting on a brave face and moments of genuine fear and panic. If your husband wants to go on holiday with this insensitive bunch, then he's welcome. But you and your son must go somewhere safe and happy where you can both enjoy yourselves properly. http://tinyurl.com/ironsidesdilemma1http://tinyurl.com/ironsidesdilemma1 It goes without saying that you must ban your daughter from using the internet at all – for at least six months, unless it will affect her school work, of course. And then you should supervise it. But the next thing you must do is to contact the parents of the other girl who was in on all this, and ask if you can meet to discuss the situation. Let's hope that they're as worried as you are. If they're not, then you'll have an idea of what the values are in this other girl's family. As far as your daughter goes, tell her that if she were a little bit older she could face a jail sentence for these unfounded threats and lies. I would go so far as to threaten to tell the police yourself – you wouldn't have to, but threatening will put her into a bit of a panic. Tell her, too, that boyfriends drop girlfriends and girlfriends drop boyfriends all over the world on an hourly basis. What he did was nothing unusual. You may think that I'm making rather a fuss about what is actually just a schoolgirl prank. But you'll never get your daughter to face up to how dangerous and cruel her actions are unless you show her that you take them very seriously indeed. http://tinyurl.com/ironsidesdilemma2http://tinyurl.com/ironsidesdilemma2 BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

37. Design a CYBERSAFE Comic with thanks to Beat Bullying  First, download templates and widgets here, then visit the Cybermentors website to understand the cybermentors concept.templates and widgets hereCybermentors  Give everybody a template and 4 widgets (for group work, multiply accordingly). You can also download the competition template and enter your best widget - winning designs will become ‘live widgets’ on the Cybermentors website!competition template  Next, decide on the scenario:  Where is the comic based? School, work, youth centre, street  What does the area look like? Clean, full of rubbish, a corridor, underpass, park  What personality and emotion do your widgets have? Happy, sad, bully, victim, bystander  What are your widgets called and what’s their story?  What’s the cyberbullying situation? Suggestions could include:  Receiving hoax calls or nasty texts  Horrible messages or pictures on an SNS profile  Meeting someone inappropriate offline  Write dialogue in speech bubbles  Give advice and support appropriate to the cyberbullying situation depicted (see suggested guidelines)  Finally, put all the scenarios together to form your CYBERSAFE comic!BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEXBACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

38. CYBERSAFE Guidelines With thanks to Cybermentors  Tell someone you trust that you are being cyberbullied  Report any cyberbullying, whether it’s targeted at you or not  Never respond/retaliate as this can make things worse. It may be difficult not to, but try to ignore it  Block the cyberbullies from contacting you  Save any offensive emails/texts as this can be used to trace them if necessary  Tell your parents/carers that you are being cyberbullied - if they don’t know, they can’t help you  If you are continuously cyberbullied, consider changing your user I.D.  Don’t let anyone know your password - even friends  Think very carefully about any information you post online e.g. your home address  Register on Cybermentors to gain support from your peersCybermentors  Don’t allow these tips to hinder your enjoyment- but allow them to enhance your online experience. Have fun!! BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

39. Other Session Ideas  Leave a stack of blank postcards and a box in a prominent place in your centre. Ask young people to write down any information on the cards that might help to stop bullying in your centre – this could be incidents that have happened and ideas to stop them happening again, information about bullying hotspots or general ideas for making the centre a bully free zone. At the end of the week, empty the box and read out the suggestions. Ask young people at the centre how they suggest you can all act on the information.  Ask young people to bring in examples of bullying – these could be in books, the local paper, news items or moments in films. Ask why they think these represent bullying and how the situation is resolved/could be resolved  Find a large branch and secure it in a pot. Cut out a stack of paper leaves and encourage young people to write anti bullying advice or messages of support on them and then attach them to the branch.  Produce a graffiti anti bullying wall  Decide on a slogan and print anti bullying T-shirts  Make a circle around the centre with everyone holding hands. Chant anti bullying slogans in the circle to show you stand together against bullying (idea from KYCC)  Document all your activities over anti bullying week - take photos, make videos, start a blog or a Facebook group – upload videos to youtube or Kent.TV and use your photos and record of the week to produce an anti bullying newsletter that you can send to adults who can help to put your good ideas into practice. BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

40. What do I want to say about: Was exciting/boring/interesting/ pointless/useful/hard/easy/ different... Was good because..... Made me think about... The worst bit was... The best bit... Would be even better in the future if... Thanks to Practice.ie http://practice.iehttp://practice.ie Session name: centre/project: BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

41. Evaluation Sheet Name of centre/Project: __________________________________ Your name: ____________________________________ Description of the activity: What did you do?: What did you want to get out of it?: What did you get out of it?: Did you learn anything new?:Did you make any new friends/contacts?: Any criticisms, comments and suggestions?: Would you get involved again? YESNORATE IT!          BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX

42. Other Ideas for Evaluation  Talking stick/sink plunger/cuddly toy/any object you like – the point is that, during a group evaluation, whoever is holding the ‘talking object’ has their say without interruption – a good way to encourage a degree of participation from reluctant talkers.  Post it evaluation – write the name of the activity on a flip chart and give each young person a post it. Ask them to write a comment or draw a picture to represent their feelings about the activity, then stick them to the flip chart.  Set up a twitter account and encourage young people to text in their 140 character evaluations, or use a Facebook group if you’ve set one up, to discuss and evaluate your anti bullying week activities  Target evaluation – draw a target on flip chart paper, labelling the bullseye ‘great/brilliant/fantastic’ and the other rings with degrees to ‘boring/rubbish’ on the outer ring. Ask your evaluation questions and ask young people to mark their responses on the target.  Use the ‘agree/disagree’ icebreaker as an evaluation  Ask young people to draw a map of the activity from start to finish – this could resemble a road, railway tracks, flight – ask young people to use their imagination to honestly depict how they’ve felt about the ‘journey’ of being involved  Work with young people to design and create generic evaluation sheets and store them on your hard drive for other activities  Build an ‘Evalu-O-Meter’ with a sliding scale to rate/slate activities – see http://practice.ie/blogs/heather/ideas-and- examples-creative-evaluation-kidshttp://practice.ie/blogs/heather/ideas-and- examples-creative-evaluation-kids BACK TO ACTIVITIES INDEX