1. Citing a Source from the Anthology Levy, Ariel. “Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture.” Reading Pop Culture: A Portable Anthology. Ed. Jeff Ousborne. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2013. 158-61. Print.

2. Title/Introduction Revision Exercises 1.Does your title engage your reader? Does it reflect the tone of your essay? Can it be restated to exclude the topic of the essay? Try rewriting the title so that is begins with an –ing verb [“Exploiting the Poor”; “Sacrificing the Rich”] Try rewriting the title using a form of figurative language [simile, metaphor, personification, etc.] 2.Does your introduction begin with a “hook” that draws in the scholarly reader? Revise the first sentence trying one of these techniques: a thought-provoking question; an arresting statement; a quote; a story, etc. Does your introduction define key terms? Provide relevant background/history of the topic? Establish common ground with the reader? Guide the reader towards the thesis?

3. Conclusion Revision Exercises Topic Sentence. Examine your conclusion, does it contain a topic sentence? Does that TS restate the thesis and perhaps summarize the supporting reasons? Bring things full circle. Tie your research paper together by directly linking your introduction with your conclusion. There are several ways to do this. Ask a question in your introduction. In your conclusion, restate the question and provide a direct answer. Write an anecdote or story in your introduction but do not share the ending. Instead, write the conclusion to the anecdote in the conclusion of your paper. Use the same concepts and images introduced in your introduction in your conclusion. The images may or may not appear at other points throughout the research paper. Make a call to action when appropriate. If and when needed, you can state to your readers that there is a need for further action on your paper's topic. Note that a call for action is not essential to all conclusions. A research paper on films, for instance, is less likely to need a call for action than a paper on the effect that television has on toddlers and young children. Last line. Examine the last line in your conclusion. Do you end the paper on a powerful note? Does this last line reflect the established voice in your essay? Would the scholarly audience feel “satisfied”?

4. Revision Exercise, Essay #3— Analysis Thesis: Public schools in California must implement [opinion] a mandatory nutrition courses in grades K- 12 [topic] in order to positively change the manner in which students relate to food [reason]. SR #1: The first reason why nutrition courses should be established in K-12 public schools in California to help prevent obesity. Evidence: [According to John Rapisarda, a nutritionist who writes for Time magazine, the percentage of overweight children and adolescents has approximately doubled in the last ten years from 16 to 33% (234).] For Essay #3, need to analyze [“break it down”] how the chosen evidence within each body paragraph supports the SR/claim For each body paragraph ASK and ANSWER this question: How does ____ [evidence] about _____[the SR] support _____[claim]? Critical Question: How does this evidence about the doubling of the obesity rate in the last ten years support the reason of preventing obesity and the call for a mandatory nutritional course that will “positively change the manner in which students relate to food”? Analysis: This statistic shows that children and adolescents are not being properly informed about what they are putting into their bodies, resulting in a staggering jump in the obesity rate. It is shocking that young minds are not learning how to properly take care of their bodies thoroughly with nutrition and exercise. The classroom is the perfect setting for instructing adolescents on proper health and fitness. Children spend years in school learning to read and write, but schools also offer classes on science, so why not direct science to something more relevant to their lives: their bodies. Is learning about igneous and metamorphic rocks as important as caloric intake or proper exercise? Obesity is an epidemic, especially amongst children and adolescents, so informing them at an early age about prevention through a mandatory nutrition course can plant a seed of proper health that can last a lifetime.

5. Essay #3—Writing Process Turn in the following for credit at the beginning of class on M, 7/28 : 1.Final Draft ; 2.Revised Draft [completed revision activities]; 3.Rough Draft [actively read]; 4.Peer Review Rubric [bottom of rubric actively read]; 5.Thesis statement #2/WC Page feedback [actively read]; 6.Thesis, SR, CA Feedback [actively read]; 7.Prewriting charts [actively read]; 8.Supporting Reasons/Counter-argument Chart [peer feedback] [actively read] 9.Writing Task #2—Three Research Cards [actively read]; 10.Writing Task #1—Proposal; 11.Essay Prompt [actively read]; 12.5-6 outside sources—**Only include the pages that were used in your paper, NOT the entire article [actively read] Tutor slip [optional] **DO NOT forget to e-mail me a backup of your Final Draft [nazar1a@yahoo.com] BEFORE classnazar1a@yahoo.com