1. Building Healthy Relationships

2. Intimate Relationships
Intimate relationships are those with family members, friends, and romantic partners, characterized by
Behavioral interdependence
Emotional attachment
Emotional availability
Need fulfillment
Through relationships, we fulfill our needs for
Intimacy
Social integration
Nurturance
Assistance
Affirmation
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3. How Intimate Is a Relationship?
Relationships can exist on a continuum of closeness and inclusion. With such a range of possibilities, the intimacy level that two people experience cannot be judged easily by those outside the relationship.
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4. Relating to Yourself Two concepts important to any good relationship
Accountability: both partners are responsible for their own decisions, choices, and actions
Self-nurturance: developing individual potential through a balanced and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability
Self-esteem and self-acceptance are important factors that affect your ability to nurture yourself and to maintain healthy relationships with others, and include the way you define yourself (self-concept).
Your perception and acceptance of yourself influences your relationship choices.
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5. Family Relationships
Family is a group of people with roles, tasks, boundaries, and personalities, whose central focus is to protect, care for, love, and socialize one another.
Family of Origin
The people present in our household our first years of life—usually parents and siblings
From these people we initially learn about feelings, problem solving, love, intimacy, and gender roles.
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6. People in healthy friendships should
Understand the roles and boundaries within the friendship.
Communicate their understandings, needs, expectations, limitations, and affections.
Have a sense of equity in which they share confidences, and contribute fairly and equally to maintaining the friendship.
Consistently try to give as much as they get back from interactions.
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7. Romantic Relationships
Romantic relationships typically include all the characteristics of a friendship as well as
Fascination
Exclusiveness
Sexual desire
Giving the utmost
Being the champion or advocate
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8. How do you know when you are in LOVE with someone?
What is LOVE?
How do you know when you are in LOVE with someone?
Sternberg proposes the following three key components to loving relationships.
Intimacy- the emotional component, which involves closeness, sharing, and mutual support.
Passion- The motivational component, which includes attraction, sexual arousal, and sharing.
Commitment- the cognitive component, which includes the decision to be open to love in the short term and the commitment to the relationship in the long term.
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9. Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
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10. The DATING GAME
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11. Picking Partners
What do we consider is most important when we are looking for or picking a potential partner?
Which are absolute musts?

12. Picking Partners Proximity—being in the same place at the same time
Similarities—"opposites attract" usually isn't true
Physical Attraction
Men tend to be attracted primarily to youth and beauty.
Women tend to be attracted to older mates who are financially stable.
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13. Types of Committed Relationships
Marriage
Monogamy—exclusive sexual involvement with one partner
Serial monogamy—a monogamous sexual relationship with one partner before moving on to the next monogamous relationship
Open relationships—partners agree that there may be sexual involvement for each person outside of the marriage
Cohabitation
A relationship in which two unmarried people live with an intimate connection together in the same household.
Gay and Lesbian Partnerships/Marriages
Staying Single
Of women aged 20 to 34, 54.4% have never been married according to data from 2009.
Of men aged 20 to 34, 64.4% remain unmarried, according to data from 2009.
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14. When do Relationships Falter?
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15. When Relationships Falter
Broken relationships usually begin with a change in communication.
If a partner changes the amount of time spent together without seeking the understanding of the other, it might be a sign of hidden problems.
In troubled relationships, honest and verbal affection can be used to cover up irresponsible or hurtful behavior.
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16. Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships
Learning Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Get to know yourself.
Become more accepting of yourself.
Be willing to discuss your sexual history.
Choose a safe context for self disclosure.
Becoming a Better Listener
We listen best when
We believe that the message is somehow important and relevant to us.
The speaker holds our attention through humor, dramatic effect, use of media, or other techniques.
We are in the mood to listen (free of distractions and worries).
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17. Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships
Using Nonverbal Communication
Touch
Gestures
Interpersonal space
Facial expression
Body language
Tone of voice
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18. Managing Conflict Through Communication
Identify the problem or issues.
Generate several possible solutions.
Evaluate the alternative solutions.
Decide on the best solution.
Implement the solution.
Follow up.
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19. Confronting Couples Issues
Jealousy in Relationships
An aversive reaction evoked by a real or imagined relationship involving one's partner and a third person
Changing Gender Roles
Our modern society has very few gender-specific roles.
Sharing Power
Power dynamics between women and men have shifted.
Compared to their husbands, 22% of women have higher incomes and 81% have a higher or equal education level.
Unmet Expectations
Partners in healthy relationships can communicate wants and needs and have healthy discussions when thing aren't going as planned.
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20. When and Why Relationships End
Why do relationships end? Reasons include
Illness
Financial concerns
Career problems
Unmet expectations
Communication breakdown
Differences in sexual needs
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21. Coping with Failed Relationships
Consider these tips for coping with a failed relationship:
Recognize and acknowledge your feelings.
Find healthful ways to express your emotions.
Spend time with friends, both old and new.
Don't rush into a "rebound" relationship.
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