1. SAFETY IN RELATIONSHIPS PART 3: BUILDING BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

2. WHERE WOULD YOU FEEL SAFER?

3. STEPS TO SAFETY 1.Respect the wall 2.Honor others 3.Suspend judgment 4.Value differences 5.Be trustworthy

4. STEP 1: RESPECT THE WALL Walls are built when people feel threatened Don’t try to bring down other people’s walls with a sledgehammer Create trust and safety Honor the right of the person to protect themselves Each person has to take down his or her own wall

5. STEP 2: HONOR OTHERS Honor is seeing the immense value of someone made in God’s image Sometimes it takes some digging to discover what is valuable in others Seek forgiveness when you have been dishonoring to others; let others know when you feel dishonored

6. ROMANS 5:7-8 (THE MESSAGE) We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

7. STEP 3: SUSPEND JUDGMENT Judgment always closes people up and shuts down relationships People who are judged want to defend themselves Replace judgment with genuine interest and compassion

8. ROMANS 2:1-2 (THE MESSAGE) Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done.

9. STEP 4: VALUE DIFFERENCES If a relationship is to be a safe place, both people have to be able to be who they are, differences and all Our differences don’t have to be the cause of conflict ~ they can actually strengthen our relationships

10. STEP 5: BE TRUSTWORTHY Be trustworthy with others; earn their trust through time and consistently keeping your word Be trustworthy with yourself; don’t compromise your values and principles

11. HEBREWS 11:1 (THE MESSAGE) The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.

12. SO … WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS TO LOOK LIKE?

13. 1.Respect the wall 2.Honor others 3.Suspend judgment 4.Value differences 5.Be trustworthy