1. Macbeth Sophia Walker

2. In today’s feature presentation, we were supposed to be re-enacting the famous monologue, “Is this a dagger I see before me?” by Macbeth just moments before he killed King Duncan. Due to technical difficulties and a small amount of time, it will be presented differently. The show will be starting shortly with a brief message from our sponsors afterwards. So please, enjoy the show! IN TODAY’S FEATURE PRESENTATION…

3. Is this a dagger I see before me, the handle towards my hand?

4. Come, let me clutch thee.

5. I have thee not, but yet I see thee still.

6. Art thou not fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight?

7. Or is thou just a dagger of the mind, a creation proceeding from the heat- oppressed mind?

8. I see thee yet, in form as palpable as this now I draw.

9. Thou marshall’t me the way I was going, and such an instrument I was too use.

10. Mine eyes have made fools of the other senses, Or else are worth all the rest.

11. I see thee still, and on thy blade gouts of blood that weren’t there before.

12. There’s no such thing. It is the bloody business which informs thus to mine eyes.

13. Now o’er one half the world nature seems dead, and wicked dreams abuse the curtained sleep.

14. Witchcraft celebrates Pale Hecate’s offerings and withered murder.

15. Alarumed by his sentinel the wolf, whose howls his watch, thus with stealthy place.

16. With Tarquin’s ravishing strides towards his design, with moves like a ghost.

17. Thou sure and firm set earth, hear not my steps. For fear the very stones prate of my whereabout.

18. Whiles I threat, he lives. Words to the heat of deeds the cool breath gives. This is now the 100 th time you’ve said that.

19. I go, and it is done. The bell invites me. Hear it not Duncan, for it is a knell that summons you to heaven or to hell.

20. AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR!

21. HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE? kHey, I have to go to the bathroom. Don’t touch my sandwich, okay? Don’t touch your sandwich, got it!

22. Is this a sandwich placed before me, the soft bread sitting on a plate? Come, let me grab you.

23. I haven’t eaten you yet, but I see you still. Is it possible to eat you as much as I want too?

24. Or are you nothing more than a sandwich created by my mind, a hallucination from my hunger- stricken stomach? Can’t eat me, I’m not real!

25. I can still see you, as delicious as the gum I chew now. You tempt my stomach whose hunger is growing, I don’t even care what condiments were to be used!

26. But my friend has made a fool of me, because it turns out the sandwich is hers! Fool, the sandwich is mine! But… but… Okay…

27. I can still see you, and I see the bite- marks on your bread that weren’t there before.

28. There’s no such food, it’s just my hunger making me think I ate her sandwich.

29. Now half the sandwich is gone, and being digested by my stomach. I celebrate the offerings made to my hungry tummy as its once loud growl is now silence.

30. And now Maya moves towards her sandwich with quickened strides. Full and happy stomach, don’t give away that I ate her sandwich and I broke our promise, but while I sit here, she gets closer. Don’t follow your own hunger dear sister, because you will only find crumbs, or nothing. Hey, where’d my sandwich go?

31. DON’T BE LIKE MAYA. CALL MACBETH’S SANDWICH INSURANCE TODAY. +1 (904) 123-4567 YOU ATE MY SANDWICH!!