1. + Communicating with Your Teen Presented by Kristin Lowe Former international school teacher, now working in adult learning Background in education and counseling Mom of 3 kids at WAB: Emi (gr. 9), Quinn (gr. 7) and Gigi (gr. 4)

2. + Today’s Agenda Introductions & Objectives Book Recommendations Listening So Teens Will Talk Talking So Teens Will Listen

3. + The One-Minute Intro Name Ages of your kids What are your strengths when communicating with your teen? What do you hope to get out of this session?

4. + Book Recommendations

5. + Listening So Teens Will Talk Active Listening

6. + Degrees of Listening Quality of Interaction Combative Listening Passive Listening Active Listening What are we listening for when we listen in these ways? When do we listen like this with our teens? Copyright © Simitri Group International

7. + Exercise: Passive Listening Listening in Pairs… While listening to your partner talk about his / her hobby, You cannot move… You cannot make any noise… You cannot show interest…

8. + Listening Tips & Hints Ask questions Think from the other person’s perspective Use encouraging words Be physical (show you are paying attention) Be in the moment (echo, paraphrase, reflect)

9. + Be in the Moment Echo Paraphrase Reflect “Why do you always have to come to my games?” “Your games…” “You don’t like having us there for all the games.” “Hmmm… I imagine you’d probably like to do some things on your own, without us always tagging along.” Copyright © Simitri Group International

10. + Exercise: Active Listening Listening in Pairs… While listening to your partner talk about his / her hobby, Use encouraging words Be physical Be in the moment (echo, paraphrase, reflect)

11. + Role Play In groups of four… One person is the teen One person is the parent Two people are observers Think of a situation in which you struggled to communicate effectively with your teen. 3 minutes to plan 3 minutes to role play – focus on active listening 3 minutes review and debrief What worked well? What could have been better?

12. + How to Talk So Teens Will Listen Asking Questions

13. + Questions vs. Statements “Why do you always have to come to my games?” What would you feel? What would you want to say? (statements) What would happen if you said that?

14. + Questioning Model Copyright © Simitri Group International WhatWhic h Why

15. + Questioning Tips & Hints Plan several topics in advance Follow a line of thought Don’t answer your own question Give your teen time to think Ask a follow-up question Stop talking

16. + Role Play In groups of four… One person is the teen One person is the parent Two people are observers Think of a situation in which you struggled to communicate effectively with your teen. 3 minutes to plan 3 minutes to role play – use the questioning model 3 minutes review and debrief What worked well? What could have been better?